Self-Soothing

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Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

How do you break your cycle of upset? How do you stop the tape that keeps repeating in your head that replays the terrible scenes over and over again? How do you stop the shame and guilt when you believe that you were speaking your truth, which did not resonate with anyone else - and, not believe that you are the one who's weird, and is a freak of nature?

I've been crying on and off all day, due to an upsetting scene with my family. I have a ball in my stomach from all the muscular tension I feel. I just want to crawl into a hole and escape. I need an escape from my own feelings.

The thing is - I know all about deep breathing, yoga, meditation, going out for a walk, etc. and yet have no energy to bring myself to do any of it. What I feel like I want most of all is a best friend who gets me, and who simply lets me vent and cry on her shoulder. Who tells me that it's OK to have a crazy moment and to let it pass and that I don't have to beat myself up about it...who reminds me that I'm only human. That wanting to run away from a toxic situation is simply self-preservation, especially for an Empath. Who reminds me that I will recover from this, and that life will go on. And, also who reminds me that it is very important that an Empath honor their feelings at all times, despite what anyone else thinks...

Well, just typing this and putting the words out there has been a bit of an outlet. Thanks for listening, and offering any words you have to share.


updated by @evolving: 03/03/17 04:35:44PM
Visitor
@visitor
2 years ago
303 posts

Are you recovering from Christmas? I think a lot of us are. I spent the day with family, and although there weren't any major scenes, I left feeling like I'd been eviscerated. I have been feeling negative and depressed since then. At least I know I'm empathic, and probably picking up lot of feelings from them. So I'm not taking it very personally. They have some serious problems to deal with like all families, and fortunately it has little or nothing to do with me. I made an appt with an intuitive healer next week; she works with negative energy, drains it out of you, replaces it with healing energy, and she's worth her weight in gold. Today I'm too depressed even to take the dog out, or do chores, or anything but read, but I know that it's Christmas Season Empath Meltdown.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts
Hi...I think you reminded yourself quite well...and gave yourself the best advice...and you should listen and believe in yourself. ..I couldn't have said it better...lol...and we all get exactly what you mean...
Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Journey Inward,

Thank you for the smiles, in reading about Tim Gunn's reference to monkey poo! It hits the mark.

Your instincts are correct, in that I'd already been breathing-through and walking away from hours worth of negativity over the weekend. I was actually feeling sorta proud that I was doing so well, steering myself away from several draining scenarios. I almost made it through the weekend.

I'm learning, once again, the lesson of forgiveness of self - - - in addition to the need for me to limit my time during family gatherings when this part of the family is present.

Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Hello, Visitor!

That's a good question. This Christmas has been mixed with some sadness for multiple reasons. I believe that I've been handling it fairly well. I do journal regularly and do meditation several days per week, and all of this has kept me grounded.

I've had a few healing sessions like you describe. I wish I could say that it made a difference for me. I'm glad that you've had some great sessions!

Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Thank you, Sandie!

I finally watched a great movie this afternoon, and it's helped to shift my focus.

I appreciate your encouragement and support.

Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Thank you, Karen!

I appreciate your support and encouragement. I do work very hard on my objectivity and introspection...but, in spite of that, it is always great to have validation from fellow Empaths.

Marta
@marta
2 years ago
11 posts
I feel the same exact way from time to time and wish I had someone who understood. I actually felt like this day after Christmas - the "Christmas meltdown" that's exactly what I experienced. It's a big relief to hear that this is normal for empaths. I used to feel guilty for not liking the holidays and days off to be spent with family. I just feel like I always have to put on a mask and pretend everything is okay and I'm all happy so they don't ask me what's wrong because what do I say? Hey guys everything's just great except for the fact I experience other people's thoughts and emotions including yours and everything below the surface. LOL. Its very suffocating especially because it's my family - people who should support and understand, but they just don't and I can't do anything about it but accept them for who they are and seek support elsewhere. Sorry if I am rambling but it feels good to be able to get this out.
Lastars
@lastars
2 years ago
96 posts
Hi Evolving.I once heard a fellow say "the devil can only lie". I'm not religious, but that stuck with me. When I have thoughts revolving around in my head bashing me I stop and ask myself "is this true?" All the things that we may feel shame or guilt over can be very twisted. It has helped me tons to stop and examine the negativity that takes over.When I'm in a good place mentally/emotionally I search for a key phrase that I can pull out of my back pocket and help center myself for when those occasions arise....~*~...
Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Happy for you! Inner peace and a peaceful home are lovely gifts!

Evolving
@evolving
2 years ago
46 posts

Hello, Lastars!

I love what you've shared. I need to adopt your phrase, or as you suggested, devise a way to do my own reality check. This is genius! Thank you!

Lotusfly
@lotusfly
2 years ago
410 posts

Hi Evolving,

I'm sorry for the ball in your stomach and feeling like you want to escape. I know what that feels like and it's natural.

Since realizing I'm an empath and my spirituality increasing, I experienced a very deep depression. I got through it by realizing that I wasn't alone. That others (many) are going through the same thing.

I know I am my own worst enemy as far as my over-thinking, over-analyzing mind. And I don't have a best friend or family member I can lean on. But through this process of healing, I've had to go within and I've realized that I know myself best and I have all my answers and ability to heal myself within me. I am now learning how to be my best friend. And that appears to be part of the process - learning that we can rely on ourselves and have the power to help and heal ourselves and take care of ourselves. This is something I've struggled with my whole life since feeling let down many times by others and feeling a lack of trust in others. Also lacking love from my immediate family (and getting the opposite instead).

But I'm seeing that I don't need to seek validation from the outside world or try to get the love and understanding from those who hurt me or are not on the same page as me. I can go within, because we all have an inner-mother who will comfort us during hard times and we can strengthen our ability to be our own best friend, to look out for us, to comfort us when we feel sad. We don't need to look for those things outside of us. Then it all comes from within. And we will also become empowered this way. And once we're okay on the inside, the outside will be much easier to handle :)

Peace and love~

Lotusfly

Lastars
@lastars
2 years ago
96 posts
Glad it was helpful :) one never knows if something will be a tool or not for another, and we need our tools!!
Lastars
@lastars
2 years ago
96 posts
I could say similar Lotusfly. Have had to dig deeper as no one was a sounding board or a soft place to fall.I'm noticing people just really want to be heard and acknowledged, it's not necessarily a solution that is needed, mostly. We just don't want to be alone through it....~*~...

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