Whose stuff is this ...?

To post a reply, login or signup

Alison
@alison
2 years ago
71 posts

I am really influenced by other people's opinions, perspectives, etc. So much so that I often doubt my own.

This is probably largely due to a lack of validation when I was growing up ... I learned to believe there was something wrong with me because I was too sensitive, introverted, etc. I'm sure most people here can identify with that.

I'm wondering who this 'there's something wrong with you' energy belongs to. On the one hand,it came from people around me when I was young so it's theirs but, on the other,it's been with me for so long it feels like something I have to deal with.

I think what I'm trying to ask is 'is this energy something I just need to hand back or is it something I need to process too? Or both? Maybe process is the wrong word but I feel like I need to give it some attention ... I can't just ignore it.

This always confuses me.


updated by @alison: 01/10/17 11:15:43PM
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
787 posts

Hi...all the things we hear in life we store in our subconscious...our memories are full of programming that influence us in some way...from chilhood till now...and most if it is bs....stuff we as empaths pick up from othe people and haven't gotten rid of.....most of us are new at this and are just finding out that we absorb other energy and never realized what we were doing...or taught how to take care of that ....cleaning out the subconscous of all the negative things we heard about ourselves as well as what OTHER people have caught in their own energy that is now trapped in our own energy field is necessary. ...there are many different layers of energy that store the subconscousnesses and memories of all that we've experienced.....and many different methods to clear it all out...most of it is stuff we can just dump....surface stuff that feed on the deeper stuff...the deeper stuff...personal hurts and traumas need a bit more time to deal with...The thing to remember is that it you can change anything you want..it's your energy...and you don't need to keep any energy you don't want...it got to the point for me that I no longer cared who said bad thing to me or where it came from...I didn't want it if it hurts me...so I'm just dumping it...learning how the energy stores in the body and energy field, learning to find the bad programs in every level of energy that I have...so I can be myself...is what's interesting and feels great.....keeping all that crappy stuff is what sux...I know what I have to deal with...and I'm not rushing through it as much as I did....as I dump stuff I'm often amazed how much i'm able to store...and what else pops up...when you start dumping it you'll be more sure about what is you and what and where your getting bad energy from...

Alison
@alison
2 years ago
71 posts

Yes, that's it... it's the difference between someone's belief/opinion and the deeper hurts and traumas that you mention. I'm realising (I think) that the belief is the person's but that belief has created fears, hurts, traumas. etcbecause I've taken it on board. So it's my responsibility to reject the other person' s belief but also to deal with the consequences ie the trauma that it's caused in my life.

Does that make sense?

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
787 posts

Ok...this is how I see things....someone says or does something bad to you...hurts you deeply...it takes up residence in you as a memory , in your subconscious and is stored in the body and aura as a dark energy and it collects dark energy...somewhere...that pain is a connection to the other person...that person is now connected to you...so your picking up his/her energy that holds information etc...so through this link that your not aware of you can be taking on the other person's personality and yes their life...so...you need to sever that connection with all roots...from that person...heal that wound...and learn how to keep clearing it...until it's no longer painful when you touch the memory , learn how to recognize the signs when a connection is made to your energy system and how to clear it...so you continue to BE you no matter what, so...find the memory..sever the links and cords, roots and all....close that person off from your energy...whatever happened while linked to this person...yes...you'll have to heal it...but getting rid of your energy connection will make it easier to do....that link is the only thing you have to worry about...everything you will come back on it's own...and yes...what you said makes perfect sense...

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
2 years ago
82 posts

I think it's a bit like weeding a garden, so that the plants you like and want to flourish have more space to spread out and grow, and so the weeds do not take over.

As I've learnt gradually over time to validate myself (a bit of therapy with someone helps; having my natural introversion repeatedly validated as a valid way of life by a therapist was immensely helpful to me; writing in a score of journals to validate my own perceptions and impressions and sense of self has helped; plus much reading of books on such topics, so that I'm not the only one in the world), the other stuff has fallen away.

But for me it has taken a lot of persistent effort, usually when the weeds grow monstrous and things are really painful and confusing, over a lot of years. Very much worth it, though.

Adding to say: so it's theirs - and possibly not theirs, quite possibly something they have had pasted onto them by others, or that's been handed down through the generations without examination - but it is now yours to keep, uncomfortably, or examine and get rid of. Most people seem to get rid of such things by projecting them onto and into their offspring or their close partners. Ejecting such stuff from the psyche is quite difficult, but definitely possible and worth doing once it is recognized as 'not mine'.
Alison
@alison
2 years ago
71 posts

Thanks L&R for your concise, practical advice :-) It makes a lot of sense and is what I'm trying to doso it's helpful to see I'm (hopefully) on the right track.

I have had counselling before and, funnily enough, a few months ago I found a really nice HSP counsellor. At the same time I also read a book aboutgiftedness and because of what I learned from that I decided to put the counselling on hold. I needed to try and integrate some of that learning first. And what you've said reminds me of that book. It says that our false selves have received all the support and attention to grow and develop habits whilst the true self has remained hidden and unsupported. It also says, like you, that it takes time and effort to support and validate the true self. It's good to hear you say that the other stuff has 'fallen away' though.

It's interesting what you say about projecting energy onto children and other people. I think there is sometimes a perception on the forum that people are 'bad' for 'dumping' their energy on you but, in my experience, it's often done unconsciously. So rather than giving it back to the person, if we deal with it are we relieving others of a burden too? What I mean is, if we learnto heal and overcome negative energies, does that mean wetake some of that negativity out of circulation and help others (people, the planet, etc) to heal too? If I heal my stuff, does it help others heal too? Is this what the empathy thing is all about???

(I don't mean extreme situation where people are trying to consciously control or manipulate).

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
787 posts
Hi...no...the energy your clearing from yourself does not heal others.. your simply removing the blocked negative energy within your system and body...the other person or persons who linked to you need to heal their own selves.... heal yourself at this time...it's up to the other person to work through his/her own stuff...
Alison
@alison
2 years ago
71 posts

I don't mean that it heals the other person per se but ratherif you've healed something that's been passed down over the generations, it's one less negative energy hanging around to bother anyone. I suppose I mean in a global sense.

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book