I Want Everyone's Intuition On This

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Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

Hi

My dad has begun to get really mean again. We have left before because of this and we are thinking we will have to leave again, this time permanently. We are going to hold out until we have money to get a physic reading from Amaya to see what she says. But in the meantime, I want everyone's intuition on this. Do you feel it will get better or worse if we stay?

He is so caught up in his own mind that he can't see the bigger picture of life. And is constantly passing the blame around to anyone but himself. When he gets angry he turns into someone I don't recognize, he is scary when he's mad. Says really bad stuff about us, his family members.

I really hope you guys feel something with your intuition on this. It has gotten to the point where I seriously refer him to being an emotional abuser. A bully.

love and light

Kaitlyn x


updated by @kaitlyn-brokaw: 06/13/17 04:38:22PM
Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

Thank you,

Mom doesn't want to split us up, but there is so much more to living than this pain we deal with. It's hard to talk to someone who really understands, so thank you.

Funny you replied because I am actually writing you an email right now!

Kaitlyn x

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
726 posts
Sadly, I have to agree with FG. He apparently doesn't see that he needs or wants any help. Sometimes the only way IS to hit rock bottom, and unfortunately sometimes that doesn't even help. But you and your family need not be sent to the whipping post yet again. I pray for you at this very difficult time. Hope all works out as it is supposed to.Shine on...
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
786 posts
Hi...if leaving will help you then you should....you don't need to put up with abuse of any kind...your dad has a problem...and you can't fix it...only your dad can...things to think about.. when your dad starts to get mean...does something happen to trigger it?...and how long between episodes?...what i'm saying is that it might help if you studied the way it escelates in an impersonal way...he picks on you because he can't pick on the real reason...and people loose sight of many things when in pain...the anger is his way of decompressing. ..we all do it...when we can't confront the real problem...we lash out at people closest to us...it's not nice..and it hurts the family...and it sux...my point is that he has an issue he hasn't taken care of...probably many...another...what is he like after an episode...is he relaxes?.loving?..is he able to hug you?..has he always acted this way? When did it really start...your mom would know...are you able to talk to her about it?...arm your self with knowledge...when you know where the anger and nastiness is coming from...it takes away a lot of the fear...but by all means remove yourself from his presence ...but tell him why...that will give him something to think about...
LindseyAnn
@lindseyann
2 years ago
15 posts

My husband has been like this over the years and he came from an environment that was physically abusive at times, and definitely emotionally abusive. Several of his siblings were diagnosed with bipolar and I have felt for years that he has t his also, but will not seek medical attention. I left for3 years and came back, but sadly things don't change and people like this often don't see their own symptoms/behavior and always put the blame on others. They can be deceitful and secretive. My husband has gone really mean things and then months/years later when he mentions why I don't trust him fully or respect him, I mention these things and he says that they are in the past and I should've forgotten them - but there's always a next time whether it is next week or next month. Sorry you are going through this and you probably know if you think he needs to seek medical attention for a mental health issue possibly/disorder.

Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,194 posts
?
Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,194 posts
I wish my post would stop disappearing
Michellem
@michellem
2 years ago
9 posts

hello Kaitlyn! i'm glad i saw this post. i'm so sorry you are going through this. i know how hard it is to not feel safe or be safe in your own home, i went through it my entire childhood and there were times when my mother and i had to pack up and go stay at her friends homes until she was finally able to get this person out. i can truly feel what you are going through and when i read the words "when he gets angry he turns into someone i don't recognize, he is scary when he's mad" my immediate intuitive hit was GET OUT!!! it is time for you and your mother to go somewhere safe. i'm not trying to be harsh or insult the psychic's abilities, but DO NOT WAIT FOR A PSYCHIC READING IF YOUR SAFETY IS AT RISK! leave, get the $ together and consult them after. i understand parents not wanting to split up a family and it's very possible your mother is feeling apprehensive about doing that, but your situation has progressed beyond that. truth is, i think you already know what you guys need to do...you have amazing abilities and can see alot that others can't. the fact that you are asking about this makes me feel like you already know but you may be holding out a bit by trying to get validation for leaving. i know it's hard, and you may not even know that you know what needs to be done. i suggest you sit down with one of your crystals (which ever one immediately resonates w/you when you look at them), hold it and connect with it energetically, even ask that it work with you. then i'd call on archangel michael and archangel raphael to be with you and ask for their guidance and be still...and see what you hear, feel, think, know....just let them guide you. i do promise that it is truly best for your mother and you to leave. but whatever you do please know i am praying for all of you and sending positive energy. if you want to feel free to message me any time. please stay safe my friend :)

with love and light, -michellem

BuildingBetterPath
@buildingbetterpath
2 years ago
9 posts

Hi Kaitlyn-

First off, I want to wish you and your mother safety and freedom. What you described sounds like a very difficult situation, and I hope it works out well for you.

You said:

"It has gotten to the point where I seriously refer him to being an emotional abuser. A bully."

I think you need to trust what you feel on this. I can't imagine that it is easy to. I am sure that you are right about this. It may not be his intent, it may not be something he has full control of, but the effect he has on you is VERY real, and needs to be resolved.

Many things from your post are similar to the situation I'm in now. I am in the process of removing myself from my family. I am older (36), but have been living with my parents, who are dysfunctional in any ways. The hostile environment, and constant manipulation from my mother are very unhealthy for me. For the last year or more, I have been living in fear. My mother is in early stages of dementia, and her mood is unstable. Any interaction with her has the potential to result in her lashing out. It is not a safe or healthy place for me to be, so I am leaving in a couple weeks.

With my mother, I know that part of the problem is her dementia, which is probably beyond her control, or anyone's. That doesn't change the situation, though. An unhealthy environment for me will still be an unhealthy environment for me, even if it is not her fault or under her control. I think the same may be true with your father.

When you describe your situation, it sounds like you live in fear in a similar way. When you ask about whether it will get better, I think you need to really think about what it would take for you to not live in fear. If he didn't do anything troubling for a week? for a month? for a year? for 5 years? However long it would take, would you be living in fear during that time? Would you trust him? You don't need to give me any answers to these questions, but please think about them. No one deserves to live in fear.

I hope that you and your mother find a safe and healthy situation. You deserve that.

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

This really touched me, cannot even describe that, thank you so very much. I am sending you love and light as you part from your family, surely that is never an easy task.

Thank you, love.

Kaitlyn x

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

You hit it right on the bullet, Michelle. I do already know what we need to do, but very unsure of it.

I will definitely sit with my crystals, and contact the archangels. Thank you so very much. Your response made me tear up a little, thank you.

Much love to you, my friend.

Kaitlyn x

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

Thank you. This is completely true.

Much love and light. I appreciate your response a lot, FG.

Kaitlyn x

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

Thank you, much love to you xx

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

Yes I totally agree. I talk to my mom about everything, but I always feel like I can't say how I really fee, you know? Like I will disappoint everyone with what I need and how I feel about things. From what I know, he's always been like this. Since my mom and him moved in together, he's always been angry. And part of that is because he had a bad childhood. Being angry is just so much more work than being happy. I don't understand why he continues when it is absolutely exhausting.

Much love to you, Karen.

Kaitlyn x

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

My dad also came from an enviroment just like that. His mother is bipolar, and quite frankly, she is nuts. I think he gets a lot of his problems from her, they've not got along very well. His older brother used to beat him up all the time.

That't what he says too! You totally understand this.

Sending love to you,

Kaitlyn x

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

I read it before it disappeared! I really liked your response too, darn computers.

Thank you, Rene, Much love

Kaitlyn x

Gem
@gem
2 years ago
220 posts
Hi Kaitlyn, I agree with the others. I believe you already know the answer to this, but it's incredibly hard to fully accept it.I also know from personal experience although it wasn't my parents it was my eldests dad (first love). I lived in fear from the emotional/physical abuse and I became a shell. My whole world revolved around my tip toeing on eggshells to keep him placated to try to keep myself safe. I felt I could 'save him' because I could also feel and see his vulnerability and knew why he had these problemsWe can't save others, untumatly it's their path and their responsibility to figure it out for themselves. If they are not open to gentle guidance or the truth of how detrimental their actions are for those around them...then your responsibility is to protect yourself.You are important, you matter and so does every other member of your family affected by this ongoing situation.Sometimes people unfortunately don't realise the impact of their behaviour until they lose everything. Sometimes losing those things is the jolt they need...sometimes nothing can jolt them and that's their choice.You can't be the one to change a person, but I know you are aware of this already.I'm so so sorry you are all going through this.Sending you huge cyber hugs and an abundance of love and light.Xx
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
786 posts
Well...most of this is about you...not him...only you can make decisions about how YOU want your life to be like...he's already made his choices...and that's NOT about you...so leave him to it...pick yourself up and make a decision....stay or go...take out all the what ifs. ..all the drama...what do YOU want to do?...we can tell you what we think or what we'd do...but only you can make the decision...so...what do you want?
Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

That first paragraph, just yes. Walking on eggshells is now my specialty.

Thank you for your words, Gem. You are absolutely right.

I am returning those cyber hugs and light,

Much love, my friend,

Kaitlyn x

BuildingBetterPath
@buildingbetterpath
2 years ago
9 posts

Kaitlyn-

You're right, it is not an easy task. It is a very positive change, though. It's hard to describe how much of a change for the better this has already been, and I'm still a couple weeks away from actually leaving.

Thank you for your strength, and take good care of yourself.

Bing
@bing
2 years ago
547 posts

321_discussions.png322_discussions.jpg323_discussions.jpg324_discussions.jpgHi Kaitlyn

Your dad needs to seek out counselling for his anger issues. He has a lot of bottled up anger from his own early years and this needs to be dealt with.However, only he can do this. Neither you nor you mom can get him past this by simply wishing it were different. He would have to totally change his relationship with his siblings and mother and make the choice to live free of them. I had to divorce myself from my siblings and other abusers from my early life. I also got counselling to help me see what had happened to me from my father's abuse was not my fault. Abusers are usually very fear filled people and feel that the world is against them. Victim's of this type of abuse, be it from family members, coworkers, or religious "leaders", can develop very strong feelings of inadequacy and this can then lead to substance abuse. It is never the fault of the victim. Yes, you may have to leave this situation behind you and it can be really scary at the beginning. But, it is also a chance to live a life free of waiting for the next explosion, be spiritually liberating and not allow you to be the victim of some future abuser. It took me quite a long time to get over the abuse that I suffered as I often felt that I didn't deserve to be successful or loved and it also affects your self esteem and self confidence. My advice is to see a counsellor be it at school or on a abuse hotline and get their opinions. They deal with this all of the time and can help you and your mom connect with the social help system that is out there including emergency shelter if it is needed. My father was both a psychological and physical abuser. We lived a life of fear for my entire youth until I left home. If your dad becomes physically abusive call the police immediately ! This will then start a file which can then be used as evidence to help you in the future.

The angels will help to protect you, but you must also listen to your guardian angel, that little voice inside of you, that is giving you solid insights as to how you should proceed. Listen to what it says and then act upon it. I also want you to know that we are here for you to chat with and will always help you when you talk with us. You can draw upon the collective wisdom of your fellow empaths who have lived through many hard situations and come out the other side and into the sunshine.You are not alone. Know that you are loved very much.

Throw some love into the wind.

Bing

Ruby Fox
@ruby-fox
2 years ago
64 posts

Giving in to a bully is giving them power over you, and it is important to own your own power. How old are you? The younger you are, and the younger you are during a trauma, whether its emotional or physical can affect you for the rest of your life. The most important thing to do is own your power, or take it back. I know that out of ashes you can become reborn-but to do that is work on yourself and get away from anything negative

Justme
@justme
2 years ago
11 posts

Hi Kaitlyn,

I agree with all of the other posts on here, all very good advice. I too grew up with a very angry dad, though my mother was never brave enough to even consider leaving him...it was the 70s however, and I lived in a part of England where everyone seemed to want to keep up appearances of the happy family despite this being very far from the truth...Nowadays fortunately those kind of stigmas are less entrenched in our society. We do not have to keep up appearances anymore. From my own experience, my advice to you and your mother would be to walk away right now. I have personally spent a lot of time trying to help people who did not want to be helped, I have had relationships with more than one narcissist to date, and I refuse to get entangled with anyone of that nature ever again. It's just not worth it. Life is short. No-one has the right to disturb your inner peace, not even your dad! You and your mother should not have to feel stressed every time your dad walks through the door, in your own home.... You and your mother deserve to be happy. You love your father, as I do mine, despite his anger and abuse, but I think the only way he will learn from his mistakes, will be when he is left to his own devices. You and your mother would not be abandoning him, you would be doing him a favour. When he no longer has anyone to lash out at, he may begin to face his issues and that can only be a good thing for him. My father has changed a lot over the years, I see my parents rarely as I live quite a distance from them now, but time has made him a better man in my eyes, perhaps distance too... Today we get along much better. Your dad needs to first face his problems before he can become a better person, giving him the space to do that might be just what he needs. Love and peace xoxo

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

Thank you, Justme.

I appreciate that.

Much love and light,

Kaitlyn x

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

I already know he won't do counseling or anything like that. For now, I just need to keep giving him little nudges I think. Thank you.

I do know all of this, just need some confirmation, very doubtful in myself.

Love to you,

Kaitlyn x

LindseyAnn
@lindseyann
2 years ago
15 posts

I used to refer to my husband as having a Jekyll and Hyde personality - he can be very nice, generous, loving etc but when something triggers anger he can be mean, cruel, foul mouthed and abusive. He has never been physically abusive but the words that come out are very abusive. One of my husbands triggers is when he is driving on the highway and another driver is too close or someone in front is too slow - my husband starts to get anxious, then irritated, then angry and then he starts to drive recklessly and I feel that he is kind of in his own zone at the time and the anger has taken over and doesn't even consider that we are in the vehicle with him at all. He has stopped the car before, got out, threatened people, rolls the windows down and cusses and yells, whilst swerving through traffic, going up to dangerous speeds - I can go on and on. He has even driven over medians and driven on the sidewalk before as he felt penned in and wanted to get out of the traffic he was in. I read an article about Driving on the Highway and how it brings out peoples symptoms, if they are bipolar or have other mood/behavior disorders etc.

I understand that your Mom doesn't want to split the family unit up - this is why I stayed and left and came back again. But I have an understanding that this is not my fault, or anybody else's fault, it is my husbands condition and I won't take the abusive behavior. Very few of them seek medical help and most don't ever see themselves for who they are. I have been lucky in the fact that my husband works shifts, so we are on our own most of the time, but the atmosphere changes and is negative when he is off and arguments start. He even does things on purpose I think to start arguments or get a reaction from me - they like to stir trouble. My husbands family are mostly like this and I refused to spend Thanksgiving with them and we are not going at Christmas - before I would go and endure it, but no not anymore. The other thing is that even if he is not bipolar, he has been brought up in an environment that is toxic and abusive and this is learned behavior that I thought you can change in someone, but you cannot. I teach children and have studied Child Psychology and unfortunately people can get help to adjust things about themselves, but your childhood environment is key to being a healthy normal individual and if you are abused and neglected you are going to greatly affected.

You and your Mom need to put yourselves first, because your Dad is not going to - not because he doesn'tlove you but because something else is coming between him and your relationship being a normal, healthy one.Do what is best for you both. I am ok with having to leave again and have told my husband I am not happy with him and he knows that I will leave this nextyear (finances are the issue, or I would have left already) and you also have to make the decision to not be a martyr to your Dad's condition and put it in his hands to deal with, even if it means he gets worse.

Best of wishes and hope you have some support,

Lindsey

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts

You are absolutely right.

My dad, when he and my mom were dating, would do that as well when he was driving. She always says now that she should have known then and left, but then she says she wouldn't have had us, so she doesn't really regret it. Yeah, dad does like all of that as well.

Thank you, I appreciate this very much, Lindsey.

Much love,

Kaitlyn xx

ChrisApril
@chrisapril
2 years ago
5 posts

Hi
I am new member here but I am not new to stories about abuse, sadly. Being empath I always dragged suffering people to me.
Many people will say that we should try to save family at all costs. I dont agree with this at all, Abusive parents (sadly most often fathers) destroy lives of people who are around, many children brought up in "families" like that never recover from that, and to those lucky ones that do it will take long years of hard work.
You have right to be happy and you have right not to be abused.
It of course depends on you, but my opinion would please save yourself!
x

Kaitlyn Brokaw
@kaitlyn-brokaw
2 years ago
216 posts
Thank you. Yeah it really does destroy families.Much love xxxx
Ruby Fox
@ruby-fox
2 years ago
64 posts

My mom would kill someone that abused her-Leo the roaring lion-but that's because her dad was too aggressive so she swore off agressive men all her life-and married someone passive ;-)

Ruby Fox
@ruby-fox
2 years ago
64 posts

I think I got that inside me too

Visitor
@visitor
2 years ago
303 posts

My intuition (and experience) tell me that he won't change, except temporarily. He sounds like a classic abuser, and I know something about people in that category.

Chronic abusers never take blame for anything, or responsibility for their own problems. Their outbursts seem to be cyclical. Nice guy for a few weeks, then three months later he's built up so much rage that he starts taking it out on everyone in sight. Even if he doesn't hit, emotional violence can cause physical reactions, like ulcers, headaches, foggy thinking, depression, anxiety, etc. Whatever the cause is (it could be emotional or chemical), you and your family cannot grow and thrive in an atmosphere like that!!!!!!

If I were you I would leave. It won't be easy, but you can start to heal and move onward.

EmpathChakra77
@empathchakra77
2 years ago
12 posts

Hello Kaitlyn

I am sorry for you situation and as an awakened person you know and understand things that you dad does not.Unfortunately not everyone see's what you see and as badly as you want them too and it is hard when it is a family member.

The easy part for me is don't rely on others intuition about your dad,no one knows the circumstances as well as you and if there is a substance abuse issue.I find when people are angry and close minded it can be very hard to get a feel or vibration because of the negativity.Other Empaths probably can better than myself.

Here is the best advice i can give If You Do Not Feel Safe Then You Must Leave !!

Talk to a friend or family member about it and suggest counseling or therapy

Maybe someday your Ascension can lead to an awakening for your dad..GL

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