Yes, I'm trying to keep up with the replies. I didn't think it would resonate the way it did. Let me explain what made me write this:
I volunteer at a place called MECCA and I am the Volunteer Coordinator there. I'm assuming that since this business has been a thing, I am the first VC to work on the floor closely with the volunteers. So being an empath, I see and observe and hear what goes on in the store. Some is not always nice. So a lot lately, I find myself emailing the Executive Director over things I observe that bother me. Some being personal others being general behavior. I feel like I have emailed her so often that to email feels foreign now.
Anyway, last week my BEST friend who struggles with mental illness and is very honest about it came to work emotional like she has a tendency to do. And she called my name and tried to show me something when I was having a conversation with 2 people. My attention was divided so it appeared that I was blowing her off which I was not. I acknowledged what she wanted to show me, then I resumed my conversation with the other two. Next thing I know, she approaches me at the front desk and says she's disappointed in me and as I'm trying to find out how she means, she accuses me of dismissing her and making excuses and I'm just lost at what the hell she's talking about because what she is saying did not happen. So that turns into a blow up where she's irate at me and emotional in front of customers mind you and here I am being put in a compromising position that I did not put myself in.
I tried to find out what was bothering her when she further blew up and blew me off by dismissing all that I was saying and at that point, I got annoyed real quick. So long story short, because I had observed this behavior in the store before, where she got emotional and unprofessional with customers about, I thought it was time for me to let the Director know that one of the beloved volunteers, who is a friend to us all, can have unprofessional moments. The Director made it a me and her issue and it wasn't a MECCA issue and I'm trying to explain to her that this is a MECCA issue because you have a volunteer working for you that is unstable and is prone to blow ups in the store. Because she chose to blow up at me does not mean it's a personal issue between me and her.
So the entire back and forth just frustrated me because you try to explain something to someone who otherwise is oblivious to everything and they only see something they wanna see and that led me here to writing this topic. So I'm done with trying to open someone's eyes. If they don't wish to see, they don't wish to see. I'm gonna move on and continue living my life. Additionally, it's time for me to leave MECCA. My presence in the store is too relied upon. You know, typical for an empath. People rely on me and it can border on using and there's just too much drama in the store that I am no longer comfortable with and if it's anything I can teach the world, it's to stand up for your morals and your convictions. If something is not right, boycott it, walk away. It's no longer a place I want to be associated with.
But aside from how I now feel about working there, my now EX best friend abandoned our almost 3 year friendship over a misunderstanding. More to the point, this was our first fight and like another former friend, from here actually, who was mentally ill as well, there was one moment where she saw I wasn't there for her out of the 50 times I was there for her whenever she called me, and decided to turn on me like I had done something so unforgivable. Unfortunately, with some people with mental illness, that's all it takes and you are suddenly dead to them. Because I have been through it before and tried to make it right for the sake of our relationship, I just have to move on instead of worry about why she's being this way.