Dating Websites

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
3 years ago
46 posts

Hi, everyone!

I've been newly single for 7 months. I've been online exploring various free dating websites. So many of them seem hokey. I've probably joined and then quickly quit at least a dozen of them.

Right now, I belong to 2 of them, that seem pretty pretty middle of the road. They are POF and okcupid. I like okcupid more, because you can answer over 1000 questions that can line you up with potential dates, based on the percentages of what you have in common.

The funny thing is - even with all of the screening, it is my opinion that most guys don't even look at that. I get the impression that guys still operate mostly on looks. I've had guys contact me that are up to 30 years my junior, and that I have nothing in common with - and, they're looking for a response.

Believe me, I'm not losing sleep over it...I can see the humor in it all and laugh if off (and block these guys from bothering me anymore).

I guess the surprising (and frustrating) part, is the guys who do answer lots of questions, who do post nice pictures of themselves, who seem like decent, family-men are not the ones who reach out to me. And, if I reach odut to them, there is no interest on their part.

Is anyone else in the same boat? Do you think it really matters at all or changes the outcome of meeting someone of quality on whether or not you pay for a membership versus a free one; whether or not you write a book about yourself versus just a few lines; whether you have one photo of yourself versus 20? I would love to hear what you've experienced!

In a perfect world, I'd love to join a dating website started that is strictly for Empaths! Does anyone know if Elaine Aron has such a thing planned for her website?

Thanks in advance for sharing your stories!

Evolving


updated by @evolving: 09/01/18 07:22:45PM
Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
3 years ago
46 posts

Thank you, Amaya!

I did go to the okcupid blog. What a fascinating read! I appreciate you sharing it with all of us.

Your experiences with online dating websites is very interesting to me, especially in regard to paying vs. free subscriptions. I'd explored some of those millionaire dating websites out of curiosity, and so much of it was extremely superficial. My observation was that most people were there to just hook up, and not develop any type of quality relationship.

I have 5 photos on my profile, too. When men contact me, most of their remarks are, "You're so pretty!". But then, that's it...nothing about what I wrote, what they're interested in learning about me; have not asked me any questions, or even suggested a date. It's almost like they're just passing by my photo on a page, make a quick comment, and move on. Perhaps it is just a normal part of this "Twitter generation", and this social media stuff is just lost on me?

Amaya, thanks for taking the time to respond. While I am not discouraged from continuing to make an effort to meet some really nice guys via dating websites, what I am hearing that I am not alone in wading through this sea of online profiles.

Happy fishing to you!

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
3 years ago
46 posts

Thank you, Whitejade for sharing your experience.

I am not surprised to know that looks matter....I guess I did not expect them to come FIRST.

Well, I am here to learn, and I appreciate your feedback!

Have a great day!

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
3 years ago
46 posts

Thank you, karma!

When I look at a guys profile, I take it all in. I read their self-descriptions, and what they are seeking in a relationship. I look at all of their pictures. I read every answer and their comments to the online questions. If I am impressed by what I've read, and am interested in them, I do not hesitate to contact them.

What has consistently happened, is that they end up not wanting to further any communication. So many guys only want to meet a woman who is within 25 miles from where they live. I am open to meeting a guy who lives anywhere, because no matter where they live, communication for me has to start online, and then progress to phonecalls before I would agree to meet. As an Empath, I know that I can easily pick up on their vibes and intentions, and would not meet if something felt off for me.

I did have a successful relationship after meeting someone online in 1999. We had a wonderful long distance relationship for 5 years, and did end up getting married, and it was a great relationship. Unfortunately, he died from cancer at age 49. As someone who does not go out to bars and loud social scenes, this is a practical and convenient way to try to meet guys.

I'd even did a trial with a spiritual singles dating website. I was amazed to find that there were a number of men to contacted me who were atheist and agnostic. I wondered why they were on a spiritual dating website, when there was nothing spiritual about them? They obviously had not read my profile, as I distinctly said that I was only interested in meeting men who actively engage in a spiritual practice.

I am glad that you like the idea for an Empath dating website. I'll have to find a way to get one started! :0)

Have a great day!

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
3 years ago
46 posts

I had one date a few months ago. Met on POF. He'd written a great profile, and had a few nice pictures.

We exchanged a few emails and one phonecall before we met. The date felt awkward to me the whole time. I don't ever remembering feeling so restless and fidgety. I was so bored, and I kept wondering what was wrong with me.

Even after I got home, and discussed the date with my sister, I found myself telling her what a gentleman he was, polite, dignified, clean and neat in appearance and that I enjoyed our walk outside and touring an art museum. All of that was true....BUT...

When he talked about himself and his life, he seemed aimless. He didn't seem to have any kind of drive or passions in his life. His voice was very monotone for hours. He didn't smile at all. We hugged hello, but there was no other touch during our conversations. I usually talk with my hands, and will touch an arm or a shoulder, which I did do with him. When we parted, he made a statement like, "Do you want to do this again, or do you want to kick me to the curb?" Was this my clue? Does he have low self-esteem? He was truly a nice guy - but, something was just off for me.

I texted him after I got home to thank him for the date. He did not text back, and I never heard from him again.

I actually found this a relief. I wish I understood better how to tune into all of the nebulous stuff that occurs on a psychic level. I have no logical explanation for why I wanted to crawl out of my skin during the date...but, my psyche knew something that I needed to trust and listen to even though I don't understand it.

Can any of you relate to something like this?

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
3 years ago
46 posts

Yes, karma!

Exactly! Time wasters!

Thank you for your boost of confidence about finding Mr. Right!

Take care!

Evolving
Evolving
@evolving
3 years ago
46 posts

Umar,

Great food for thought, and interesting reads! Thanks so much for posting these!

I do have full body shots...in a dress...which shows off my figure, without showing a lot of skin.

I am smiling in all of my pictures. In several pictures, I have included other people - taken at events.

I seem to meet the recommended photos to catch a guys attention...now, just to keep them current!

Now, onto figure out how to edit my lengthy profile! LOL!

Nice to meet you, Umar!

Evolving

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