I'm so confused

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Karen
@karen
2 years ago
28 posts

So a little background. Been divorced for 3 years. He cheated and had a child with another women and denied it. I didn't speak to him until just recently. He had a fatality on one of his jobsites and I felt I had to reach out to him. Now I wish I hadn't. It kind of opened up old wounds and possibly feelings but I'm not really sure. He makes comments about how much he misses me and that things aren't good with the "other woman" now wife. And all I think is once a cheater always a cheater...at least with him. All I know is I get really stressed whenever I see him (I'm trying to give him a hand with his business).

OK - so then there is a man that I've known since I was 14. We were boyfriend/girlfriend until he went in the Army then subsequently Viet Nam. He told me not to wait - I didn't. Fast forward...after my divorce we tried having a relationship - twice - He has PTSD and I find it very draining to live with.

So I've been feeling that I need to give the boyfriend another chance. He really wants to be with me. A day doesn't go by that he doesn't tell me he loves me. And part of me loves him too. But first I'm afraid to give it another shot, second I "worry" what my ex will say.

Now this morning I'm thinking maybe I need to move away (like 2000 miles away) to get away from my ex (since he has always had such a hold on me). And possibly letting the boyfriend come with me. He has stated he wants to.

I can't even think straight! I reread this and I sound like a basket case. Does anyone have any advice??


updated by @karen: 01/10/17 10:20:10PM
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts

Hi...I think you know deep down what you really want and need as well...part of you loves your bf? Shouldn't it be all of you? I know if it was me I wouldn't want to be with someone who just said that ...the way your wording all this is actually saying you don't really want him with you right now because there would be no ' possibly' in the sentence, .......and your ex...really? Will you ever trust him if you go back? Do you really want to live with someone who has disrespected you and will probably continue to do so....why put yourself in that position where your going to be miserable? Knowingly. I think your ex is playing you...your not honest with yourself...or the other guy...so...get rid of the ex for good...tell the bf you need time to yourself to figure things out and heal....don't string the guy along because you feel sorry for him or afraid to hurt him or because your afraid to be alone...and take the time you need for yourself....that part is the hardest part...taking time for yourself....but when you get into it...well...give it a shot and find out.....concentrate on you for a change...not them...and as FG said you'll never move forward until you take care of the all the baggage...and your ex is definitely baggage and holding you back....

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts

Plus...not once did you say YOU wanted your bf with you...everything was based on what HE said he wanted....what YOU want is not even mentioned...that's a big red flag....

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