Denial

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Amanda3
@amanda3
2 years ago
36 posts
I am new to all this so I will just give you a quick and short introduction to my life. I am 32 I have thought for many years that I am an empath but for the most part have been in denial. I suffer from severe anxiety and depression among many other things. In my attempt to deal with my ongoing medical problems I decided that maybe it is time to start trying to understand myself better instead of just shutting the world out and locking myself away from everybody but here is the problem..I am in serious denial I feel almost as if accepting this somehow makes me crazy...does that go away?? I am so lost and really confused!! Please and guidance would really be appreciated
updated by @amanda3: 01/22/17 07:14:07AM
Rose3
@soralei
2 years ago
49 posts
It hasn't gone away.We natural rationalize things but how do you explain the things you feel.
Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
272 posts

Hi Amanda,

This question seems to come up in one form or another every few weeks here (apologies to repeat readers). You are in the right place! You are not crazy! You are no longer alone, you are now part of a community that has been where you are!

Some reading material for you to get you going...

  1. Elise'sEmpath Survival Program.
  2. Donna Eden'sZip Up Technique
  3. theTools for the Empathgroup
  4. Thriving As An Empath - "we suffer as empaths when we are only in receptor mode, we thrive as empaths when we step into healer mode". The technique in this paper is my own favorite for reasons that will be obvious when you go there. I personally use this technique every day and many of the people I have shared this with have had a lot of success with the Conduit of Energy contained here. The main principle here is that it is about reversing the flow so that instead of from-them-to-you it becomes from-Source-through-you-to-them. Try it every day for a week (preferably multiple times a day) and you WILL feel different!

For some people being an empath feels like a liability now but it is a gift, an honor and a privilege to have this ability. Enjoy reading the articles.

P.S. My own lifetime depression left me in my early thirties ... when my father left my mother to go live with his childhood sweetheart!

Blessings,

Trevor

Amanda3
@amanda3
2 years ago
36 posts
I always just assumed the feelings are my own. I have only just begun to explore and understand that they may not be.
Amanda3
@amanda3
2 years ago
36 posts
Thank you
water_lily
@water-lily
2 years ago
90 posts

I think that depends on how you were raised/your view of the world. I'd imagine that people who grew up with people who accept the ideas of psychics, crystals, empaths, etc, it feels as though this is perfectly natural. I grew up in a religious family, specifically in a Christian denomination that doesn't accept this sort of thing. However, my mom noticed some weird things about me, specifically, waking up in the middle of night to go comfort when I knew she was very upset even as a toddler and getting sick with ailments that were not contagious when people around me had those symptoms. As a nurse, she'd seen that sort of thing happen enough that she couldn't really deny it. She had back problems, and I naturally knew where I had to press to release the knots in her back (before I had any idea what trigger points were or had any knowledge that something like acupuncture existed) and I even knew where the knots were without needing to feel her back. I remember her asking me lots of questions about how I did that; I'd answer truthfully that I just knew what to do, didn't everybody? The name Empath was never spoken and the "weirdness" I had was acknowledge as something weird, but it was also something that was not discussed. She's the only person in my family that I ever mention any of this empath thing to and it makes her really uncomfortable when I do. The whole point of that was to say, for me, some of this seems natural and not crazy, but it also feels like a great big secret, a piece of myself that I hide from the world. I've tried to lock that piece of myself away, and it generally doesn't turn out well so I still act authentically but only to the point of coming off as sweet person rather than someone who is picking up on their emotions or that their upper right shoulder is bothering them. I'm pretty new to this group, but having a group that accepts that what you experience is real helps make everything feel more real and right.

Also, if you work through the things Trevor Lewis posted and you feel considerably better, there is some evidence to support that this is a real part of you. Technically, as a scientist, I have to say it could still be placebo effect, but there is no harm in trying.

I think another thing that helps with not feeling crazy is looking into other cultures. Plenty of cultures acknowledge energies, spirit worlds, spirits helping people, etc. Just because you may have been raised in a culture that sees this sort of thing as hogwash (as assume you were because you feel like you might be crazy), doesn't make your culture right about this sort of thing. I mean, in many commutative cultures, cultures in which the well-being of the group takes precedence over the need of the individual, this sort of "gift" can be readily accepted and seen as a great thing rather than a burden.

Sorry this is kind of long and meandering, but in short, being aware of your own biases towards how you are viewing yourself, working through the reading materials, opening yourself to new viewpoints, and participating in this group (or another like it) can help you feel a bit more normal, because what is "normal" anyways :)

Also, when I've felt similar to how I think you are feeling, I needed a big accepting bear hug. So, even though it isn't the same thing virtually, I am sending you a virtual big bear hug of acceptance. You'll be okay.

Amanda3
@amanda3
2 years ago
36 posts
Thank you this was very helpful and so was your hug. I grew up with a very...I don't know how to explain my mother except to say that she has told me my whole life that I am dramatic and a hypochondriac... There was no religion from my mother or father..and when I try to talk to either of them I feel like they are judging me. Most days I do not feel like my Mom even loves me because when I am around her i just do not feel love most of the time i feel jealousy and judgement. My fiance and my son I know is where most of the emotions that are not my own come from but also my step daughter 10 minutes ago she text me telling me how angry she was and I was immediately in a bad mood. I am trying very hard to work out how to deal with that but I find that being around small children is a huge help for me...maybe because they are pure? I'm not sure? Something completely off topic and strange..I often but not always can tell when a child is getting sick because I can smell it...I will say he/she smells sick and people are like what do you mean smells?? Does anything like this happen to you?
water_lily
@water-lily
2 years ago
90 posts

Yes, I smell people getting sick, but most people don't so I usually don't mention it lest they think I am crazy. I can imagine someone telling you that you are crazy and a hypochondriac all the time would lead you to think that about yourself. I used to feel that my family didn't love me either, but I do not think that was the case. Let's just say there were a lot of negative emotions floating around during my childhood. I think I picked up primarily on the strongest emotions they were emoting (fear, anger, sadness). In retrospect, I think that love was under there somewhere. Now, things have calmed down in my family, and sometimes, when I am around them, I feel their love. Part of me is frustrated that I couldn't have been in circumstances that I could feel the love when I really needed it, but what are you going to do? It could be that your mom is not happy with her life and sees your life and feels jealousy. She may want to pick apart your life (judgement) to make her feel better about herself. Underneath it all, she still may love you, but the other emotions are just, well, emoted more strongly, and they mask the love.

It helped me a lot to be removed from my family, specifically, when I went to college. I'd felt very responsible for my family's emotional well-being. Being away from it helped me to focus on me. It also helped me to accept that people's emotions are not my responsibility not are they my fault. If you mother feels jealous or judgmental, that's on her. If you can learn to shield yourself (see some of the reading materials posted), you can not internalize that as much. If your step-daughter is angry, that isn't on you. As long as you are not going around intentionally hurting people and are trying to do the best you can, you are not responsible for how other people feel, and the vast majority of the time, the way people feel has a lot more to do with them than you. If you have the opportunity to distance yourself even for just a little while every day from your family (go for a walk in nature or something) to set aside time and emotional space for you to figure yourself out, work through some of the reading materials and that sort of thing, it may go a long way towards making you feel more okay with this part of yourself. I'm glad what I said before had a positive impact :)

Amanda3
@amanda3
2 years ago
36 posts
Thank you so much <3
Dice
@dice
2 years ago
284 posts

First of all, I am proud of you for deciding you will face this. Second.. Welcome to the EC.

The ah-ha moments are coming. Please take advantage of the resources posted and know you are not alone. Reading your post takes me back to when I first stumbed (not by accident mind you) to this site. I will say that while I smiled it is not with ill-intent. It allows me to see how far I have come in the last few years.

Once you start to explore the resourcesyou will find the crazy is not so crazy.. that you are in tune and ready to move forward in your journey. This site has been my refuge.. I hope you find that it helps you to emerge from one that could hide and pretend it will all go away, to an individual that can thrive and inspire those around you.

It can be overwhelming but you are not alone.

Dice

Amanda3
@amanda3
2 years ago
36 posts
Thank you...just reading the comments has helped :)
ellicent
@ellicent
2 years ago
38 posts

I'm kind of in the same boat, don't worry!

I find that accepting that something's different tends to help.

Still though, I don't buy into the crystals natures signs and whatnot. Remember that you can take bits and pieces of what sounds right to you from the community (I mean, read all of it with an open mind still, since you might find something that actually seems applicable)

I'm interested in finding a scientific justification for empaths. It could help put those uneasy feelings to rest :)

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