I had a 'friend' many years ago who, looking back, was a narcissist. At the time, I had no idea how manipulative she was being, or how much of an effect it was having on me. If I argued with her, she made it known that she was displeased - and for a while I would do anything to stop her being irritated with me or berating me for something she disproved of. And she pretty much examined every aspect of my life; if there was some part of my life she wasn't involved in, she forced me to include her.I always told myself that, at heart, she was a good person. I was looking for the spark of kindness and sweetness in her, and trying to cling on to it even as she hurt me.
I've since realised that losing her friendship - and better, standing the hell up to her, was one of the best things I ever did. I wish her health and happiness wherever she is - but I know I'm better off without her. It was like, in her opinion, I couldn't have any emotion that wasn't completely in line with her opinion.
The final straw came over a ridiculous argument that shouldn't have been too much of a deal - but it was the waves of coldness that came off her when I'm standing there, crying (unfortunately I cry when I'm angry as well as upset,) and trying to explain to her that she was being completely unfair and that family commitments are important, and I couldn't just drop them at the last minute. It was like knowing, finally, that she didn't care about me at all - and that, sadly, the sweet girl she had been at age 12 had completely disappeared into her narcissism by age 16-ish.
I suppose the fact that our friends had been flaking away from her for years should've been a clue - but she was exceptionally good at playing the injured party, and ensuring I never managed to get the full story out of anyone. She had no right to be like that with any of us - and, worse, she made me ashamed of my feelings and, to some extent myself; something which I'm still struggling with, years later. Don't let anyone treat you like this. You have the right to feel whatever you feel - no matter what anyone else says.
I apologise for the rant, but I've never really felt able to explain this to anybody - which, I guess, is what happened to the other girls who broke their friendship with her too.