Awaiting for a soulmate or just scared of rejection?

Over the years I have had many chances to connect with others and even date them if I wanted however, something always held me back. I used to be very negative and did not love myself. Perhaps because I did not love myself, I could not love my potential partner which held me back. I have always feared rejection and been pretty socially isolated although I am getting better now which also held me back. I feel like I am waiting for my soulmate or someone special to love which is why I passed up all of my other chances. My intuition works in mysterious ways (as everyone's probably does) but idk whether to attribute not having found love to me being too isolated and negative or if my intuition wants me to wait for someone special. Not quite sure how to read this situation. Anybody deal with anything similar?

updated by @47th-wonder: 01/10/17 11:18:40PM

You will find them when you least expect it.That kind of energy you notice it's unavailable. To me it's like swimming in a pool of love with a hint of lust.Mostly when you look into their eyes and sour gaze you will know for sure.

Yea you're right, I feel like it will hit me when I least expect it. Thanks for the insight!

Nothing attracts love like love - loving yourself, loving what you're doing, loving family and friends.I found a very dear romantic friend this way and suspect I could have been happy with them all my life. Even so, intuition buzzed at me the whole time that I shouldn't get too comfortable. It was irritating and I ignored it as well as I dared. Years later, an old friend I had also dated half a lifetime before looked me up for a visit. When I met them and touched their hand, it was almost like an electric shock, like time slowed down. I never wanted to be without them again. Only then did my buzzing intuition quiet. It still took me a long time to accept that, but sometimes your someone special is someone passed over the first time around. Clarifying what I sought also helped me recognize it.