Dealing with anger

To post a reply, login or signup

LaoG
@laog
2 years ago
137 posts

Ok, so since I became more aware of my empath abilities I have went through periods of minor misanthropy or irritation. I would sense malice, sense people entertaining lust for someone when they have a lover already, people hating each other for stupid things, sensed people who use others for attention, sociopaths, people who hate me pretending to be nice, people with an extreme sense of entitlement, etc. Stuff like that. I just got enraged at all of this and then after a while I realized 'if I get angry each time I sense this sort of stuff I will be angry a lot' so then I decided to tolerate it. My sense of morality was stronger around the time my empath ability became stronger, so that made it even worse. I was experiencing stuff that I thought shouldn't be so common, cause that sort of stuff is like what you'd see on TV or a soap opera.

A married lady was being all giddy with me alike a kid and was infatuated and it pissed me off. She was pregnant too. How could someone hate their spouse so much? I sense players just talking with girls to get in their panties and they don't give a damn about who they are, or compatibility they're just fuelled on lust. I sense people who have a naturally disrespectful mentality towards others, but they can hide it well.

Also I can sense when someone looks down on me or someone else for some stupid crap quite often. It is very irritating. Lately it has been bothering me because it's like every time I meet new people I just get disappointed by the evil I sense, and I know I'd rather sense this than not sense this because I've dodged many bullets with this ability. I sort of became numb and filled with sorrow for a while before as well, and that is my alternative to being filled with rage, with my other mode of expression being, not caring at all and becoming amoral.

So how do any of you deal with this, if you have a similar issue?


updated by @laog: 01/31/17 11:46:16PM
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts

Hi....I don't think myself above anyone....humans including myself are not perfect creatures....I see the imperfections and can relate...I don't judge...or at least try not to...something in anyone's life could be influencing a person's behavior or emotions at any given time...mine included....I'm basically a happy person who has had some unpleasant stuff to deal with...I have desires...likes and dislikes...and can always find something in my own expeiences to soften the bad things I sense in others....you have probably been hurt in some way that is getting in the way of seeing good things in people...the toughest thing to do is face the pain and let it go....attractions to the opposite sex is quite normal for all beings...even pregnant women who's hormones are on over drive due to being pregnant and she's probably not getting much attention physically from her husband...doesn't make it right...but it's understandable...but your probably a nice looking guy...so why not take it as a compliment...is it something to really feel anger about when humans are being human...or is it something else causing the anger and the anger hiding behind that reason?...the energies are quite strong around everyone I encounter....and knowing myself and working on my own healing helps put a lot of the fear and pain I sense in others into a managable context...also...calling everyone evil might be causing you issues...maybe try changing 'evil' to ill or sick...

LaoG
@laog
2 years ago
137 posts

Well, I don't think everyone is evil, I just think a lot of people are. I used to try to see good in people but all that did was wake me up and get me disappointed. I didn't really think of the hormones when I made my judgement. U could tell it was compulsive but what really irritated me was that she did not resist it. People are not 1 dimensional, I know they can act strange or foolishly in one way and be good in another, and I don't want them all to die or anything like that I just rather they don't act malicious. I try to be content and nice but when I do it ends with some form of disrespect. I have tried thinking 'be merciful, they only act that way because they have an issue' but I think people should at least be responsible for trying. If someone is trying then I don't have an issue, it is just when people do that sort of thing on purpose or for no proper reason.

I used to be bullied when I was a kid but something like that is not an excuse to mistreat a stranger, for example. And yes, I have been betrayed over and over and it is irritating since I can sense the betrayal. I expect adults to try to behave properly and if I expect nothing from anyone in terms of behaviour I feel like that sort of attitude contributes to moral laziness in this world.

I have tried the 'we make mistakes' attitude and it didn't really help. I just become too dismissive and then I become less strict on my actions when I do that. I am not perfect but I only want others to try and not just say they try and then show no sign of effort. I understand there is a perspective that I should not expect others to act a certain way but I wish they didn't at times, and idk how to turn this ability off.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts
OK. ..so..I agree...pepole should take responsibility for themselves....just as I think I should work on my own issues...and you yours...how you do that...and when your ready to do that is your own decision...all I can do is give you things to think about....it's the same with other people....they're on they're own journey...and I personally can't hold everyone's hand even if I wanted to....which I do wanna do when people are in trouble....so...maybe one of the things to think about is...why do you feel you need to be so strict with yourself....and why do others have to do the same thing to be accepted by you...and from my point of view...the pregnant woman being attracted to you DID do something positive...she didn't jump you in public...lol..she controlled herself...and went home with her husband....to have her kid....so it wasn't a big deal...from my own experience...feeling other peoples emotions and hearing stuff...is just like being bombarded with extra crap....sometimes I feel it's totally unfair to pick up others the way I do AND have to deal with my own crap...I get angry too....but I know enough that I don't like people judging me without knowing me....sometimes the 1ST impressions i get is from other people is from the energy...and it sux...cause I have to pretend I don't sense or hear anything....so...today...I put my dogs outside...a short time later they started barking...and wouldn't stop...so..I went out to see why..a kid was sticking a long pole through the fence at them...and tormenting them....i've caught a lot of kids doing that...and i'm angry...cause I don't know how to stop them...my dogs have a right to feel safe in their yard...so...are the kids evil?...in some ways I think they are...but not...because their parents are not teaching them to respect...they have no guidance....my dogs...through these kids are learning to be afraid of kids...and i may be accused of not training my pets...which is not true...and if a kid happens to be bit by one of my dogs..i'm gonna be the one blamed...and the dog will be blamed....but not the kid...and not the parents....but all I can do is keep my pets out of the way of these moron kids...and not wring their Lil necks the way I want to.....so...what i'm saying....really...is you gotta lighten up...and not take everyone's not being like you personally...and let them work their stuff out..and you yours...I want everyone to be like me too...lol...not gonna happen...lol
Lulip
@lulip
2 years ago
36 posts

For me, anger is probably the most annoying emotion to deal with.

I usually just flush out any feelings I get with other positive energy, or just try and tune out of the situation. If you feel like people are looking down on you, then personally I wouldn't hang around them. I've noticed that if I don't care about the situation, then any negative emotions going around don't really bother me. If you can't avoid contact with these kind of people, I would recommend trying to deflect the emotions and send it back to them.

LaoG
@laog
2 years ago
137 posts

Thanks I think I can relax more now I needed to read that, you are right I cant change everyone and I know that i just had a bout of rage. and like with the dogs there are many situations where people don't know better and kids for example are not always very smart in certain areas. I understand why you'd be angry I would be angry as well, especially since it affects the dogs' mentality in the future.

I don't really mind if someone is into other hobbies or something it is just that I can get irritated when grown people are unreasonably malicious. like around my old neighbourhood there were kids who went around and tried to rob/beat people up and I know they are smart enough to think 'how do my victims feel?' So I just get agitated over that. As for first impressions I know people can be very different from your first sense of their aura and all, however when I try to dismiss an evil first sense I later find out that I was right on the money.

I am just irritated. I think people are very interesting because I sense complex emotion and I am interested in how they act, but there are a lot of times it is just irritating to understand all of the malice which isn't even always about vengeance. I guess my issue is this, I am afraid that if I do away with my anger/sorrow/rage over such things I will sacrifice my personal sense of justice with it. I am afraid that I will allow myself to be complacent with injustice. So this is all really about fear, because I do not know how to deal with this dilemma. I have already adopted the 'they are just ill' approach, and not everyone is just projecting their pain, there are people with almost no pain just projecting malice anyway, I can sense people being malicious when they are in a good mood.

In a dilemma I try to find some reasoning to diffuse my anger, but there are a lot of times I can't. I feel like I just have to adapt, but I don't want to adapt to this, because I am afraid if I do I will not be as hostile towards such energy.

Lulip
@lulip
2 years ago
36 posts

It's kind of hard to explain, as it's a feeling for me.

For me, deflecting emotions is like mentally putting up a wall so peoples emotions can't (or can barely) get to me. If you want to try it, I would recommend visualizing a bubble around yourself.

LaoG
@laog
2 years ago
137 posts

so does it make them feel what they project to you but towards themselves?

Lulip
@lulip
2 years ago
36 posts

I'm not sure exactly what they feel when I deflect their emotions, (since I'm trying to block it out) but from the reactions I've gotten, it sometimes intensifies the emotions, sometimes it doesn't. I figure that since they're already feeling it, it won't affect them all that much. If you're talking about absorbing emotions, however, I would think that they'd feel a moment of calm before the emotion was sent back to them.

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts
Lol...I don't think that will ever happen....loose your sense of right and wrong...but to continue to dwell on it is going to drive you just as crazy...from what your saying your gonna dwell on it either way...why?...personal sense of justice has nothing to do with anger rage and sorrow....it has to do with moral standards....all that other stuff is just a by product...and shouldn't be with you at all...how on earth will you ever be happy if your always sad....don't get me wrong...I don't always find letting go of negative stuff is not always easy...it's tuff...you said you just had a rage outbreak...what exactly happened?...what set it off?
Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts
Also...I don't know if you know about smudging....but I smudge my house when I start feeling heavy with emotions that I pick up while out...and bring home....I do the whole house....it changes my energy and the energy in my surroundings. ....so...your anger may be an accumulation/buildup of energy that your not able to purge...so you may need a bit of help....
LaoG
@laog
2 years ago
137 posts

Hmm well not too recently, actually it was around a week ago. I was working with people in a group helping each other with some work and then someone brought to my attention that one member was doing nothing and that one member was just using me for other stuff. That sort of stuff has happened to me a lot but that time I didn't really explode but I had a sort of calm rage. Usually I don't really care because if I feel like helping I will but what irritated me was when I contemplated that I could be treated worse if I allowed it to go on, and I have a habit of not caring if that sort of thing happens, but when it can actually cause me problems I just get angry. I constantly feel negativity but that sorta just made me snap internally and then a calm anger was there. Usually I can just let it go if I have a good reason, but if not I just continue in the anger. The work we are doing is social work so it pissed me off more that someone would abuse hospitality in a humanitarian field. Like why become a social worker if you are gonna be like that, you know?

Karen2
@womanwhowalks
2 years ago
783 posts
Ya...I know what you mean...it's like getting a wood splinter in your finger....just under the skin....you know it's there cause you feel it....but you can't really see it...it takes a magnifying glass to see it then you gotta dig it out...or let it grow out itself....that's what words are like to me....like barbs...especially anything negative....the energy leaves the person's mouth with the words...and hits my energy...sometimes like a punch depending on what's said...and I actually feel the words/energy hit andstick in my energy and body....it sits there like an injury and feels like it becomes infected...and it invades my brain like an anxiety...but it's not my anxiety...so I have to take it out...once I do I feel much better....and we carry these things in our energy...I myself pick up other people's barbs...they pass it onto me...so when my moods and emotons become NOT me and i start feeling tired....... I smudge...and pick em out to dissolve em and get rid of em...out of my energy...and get a good sleep...lol...there are many ways to look at this type of thing....and many ways of clearing out you energy...our energy is made of many layers.....and more complex than I ever thought....it takes practice....and trying this and trying that....until you find the methods that help the best...
water_lily
@water-lily
2 years ago
90 posts

I try to remember that not everyone views the world the same way as I do. I try to imagine what life would be like as someone who didn't feel other people's emotions. Besides the general sense that I think most people have that we should try to be decent human beings (and religious beliefs for some), I have the added incentive of not wanting to do "bad" things because it'll make the people around me upset, which, of course, translates to me feeling upset. If I took that away, then who knows how I would behave. If I were feeling fat (because I was pregnant) and attention from a guy may make me feel better about myself, that need might outweigh general want for me to be a "faithful" wife. Maybe, if my sense of self worth came from how many girls I could sleep with, I might be a player. If I was raised to think money was the root of happiness, maybe I'd monetarily take advantage of people especially if making them upset didn't also make me upset. The forces guiding the behavior of others are different than those guiding me. I'd like to think that I'd behave better in those circumstances (not being empathic), but I am not in them so I can't say that I wouldn't. I can't really judge those who do behave that way nor do I feel generally feel angry towards them. I just try to understand what sort of person they are, make sure they don't manipulate or do something to hurt me, and try to help others they may be hurting. Occasionally, I'll speak up and tell the person doing the "bad thing" that I don't like what they are doing (e.g. someone making an intentionally racist comment), but getting angry just means that you have to walk around being mad, which is unpleasant.

I know it is hard when people betray you and people do bad things and you feel it all, but if you can let that go (not ignore it and let people walk all over you, but not walk around in anger all the time), then you can be a beacon of niceness in the world. When you feel happy, share that happiness with the world. Share kindness with the world, and many of the people around you will reflect that back to you. Maybe the person searching for personal happiness in things that hurt other people will start to pick up on that kindness and maybe it'll change them for the better. Maybe it won't, but I feel a lot happier thinking about the world in this way rather than focusing on the things that selfish/mean/or maybe just grumpy or tired people manipulate and/or do not take into consideration other people's feelings.

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book