Searching for explanation

To post a reply, login or signup

ellicent
@ellicent
2 years ago
38 posts

Hello.
I'm new to the Empath community as a whole.
I feel out of place here so far. I don't put any stock in "positive energy" or "healing crystals" or anything that doesn't have a good scientific explanation, but strange things have been happening to me my entire life (particularly this past year) that I can't ignore, and can't explain. I started doing some digging and found the word "Empath." It seems close enough to what I'm experiencing that I'm here looking for others who may have similar experiences, as well as tips and tricks for dealing with my (our) condition.

Without further ado I suppose I should share my experience. Sorry in advance for the long post.

I seem to have an uncanny ability to predict hardship, injury, and death (particularly suicides).

First incident I remember occurred when I was five or so. I woke up from a dream in which my aunt was clutching a baby bottle and crying. While the content of the dream was what most people would call concerning or sad, I woke up with a crushing sense of dread. Later that morning while I was eating breakfast, my dad got a call that my aunt had been rushed to the hospital in the night and had to have both her ovaries removed (rendering her unable to have children). I was a kid, so I entertained the idea that I was magical or something for a while, but eventually wrote this off as a coincidence.

The second major event occurred when I was in high school I became passing friends with a guy who halfway through the year transferred to a different school. We hadn't talked in a while and one night I woke up in the middle of the night with the urgent feeling that I should text him. I didn't (for a variety of reasons - my phone was across the room, it was late, I didn't want to disturb him) but I wish I would have. The next day one of my school's guidance counselors pulled me out of class and informed me that he had died. He had committed suicide approximately ten minutes after I had woken up.

It's been a few years since then, and This last year has been especially full of events like this. I have a good friend who was going through a rough patch with his girlfriend, and they broke up. I was passing friends with her, and we only lived a few houses away from each other so I still saw her and chatted with her every so often. A few weeks later, I had the strong urge to go for a walk in the park near my house (it was past midnight, not usually a time I'd want to go for a walk) and the urge was very specific to the park and even the route I'd take. I had my shoes and coat on and was halfway out the door before I got distracted helping my roommate take out the trash, and didn't end up going for a walk. The next day I saw my friend walk past my house, sent him a quick "hi" text, and he called me back and informed me that she (his ex) had hung herself in the park last night. I checked my city's police blotter and discovered that the time was about ten minutes after I had started walking out my front door.

That event was really rough on my friend. He came very close to suicide twice over the summer, and twice I awoke during the night in a panic and (not ignoring myself this time) texted him to make sure he was okay. He's commented on the fact that I always seem to know when to text him (I have a tendency to do it when he's just having a mildly bad day too -- same with the rest of my friends) but I don't know what to tell him. I mostly don't want to admit that I had a similar feeling before the girl died. Plus, I have no explanation myself.

There are a bunch of other minor incidents I won't burden you all with (it'd be a lot to read!) but I've also noticed that I seem to mirror other people's emotions and personality. I experience odd, VERY accurate and very long de'ja'vus (some of which I write down and draw ahead of time in my journal... creepy!) and I can always tell when someone is hiding the truth from me (and I know how to hide the truth from others easily -- I'm a very good liar)

Anyways, I'm here to talk to others who may be experiencing the same thing. I suppose I have two main questions:

1) Do you have any ideas of how this phenomenon may be explained scientifically? Electromagnetic waves? Mirror neurons? My personal working theory is that perhaps some people can sense a dimension above the 3rd (possibly time) and gain a small understanding or glimpse of what may be going on there, and that humanity as a whole may begin to adapt in this direction (think of the way eyes evolved -- certain micro-organisms gaining the ability to sense small amounts of light through certain cells that over billions of years evolved into the complicated eyes we have now -- this could also apply to electromagnetic waves or any number of other signals). Perhaps there is no scientific explanation, and I'll have to accept the fact that the paranormal and supernatural are a real thing, but for now (for my sanity) I'd like to think there's a cause just waiting to be discovered.

2) What can I do to become more in touch with this (so far unexplained) sense? I can't help but blame myself for the two suicides I "missed" and I don't want to miss another. Please throw out any and all tips you have. I will probably be skeptical (that's just my nature) but I'm willing to try just about anything, and I welcome any help you have for me.

Alright, thank you for reading this. I'm interested in hearing your experiences, opinions, and tips.


updated by @ellicent: 01/12/17 08:02:03AM
water_lily
@water-lily
2 years ago
90 posts

Hey there,

I can definitely relate to this. I like scientific explanations; in fact, I suppose my job description would be "scientist;" I work in a lab and everything :) Anyways, I've had a lot of experiences similar to what you describe. When I don't listen, bad things happen. When I do listen, things tend to turn out okay sometime great.

I had a hard time reconciling this sort of thing, religion, and science. Then I had to take a class in quantum mechanics in school. Among other things, that class taught me that, scientifically, we really don't know a lot about the world. The physics on that scale are extremely contradictory to what you'd expect. Are some people more sensitive to energies or vibrations floating around? Possibly. Are some people able to detect something in a different dimension? Also, possibly, The fact is we do not have enough information one way or the other to make a call on whether or not any of this is real scientifically. After a while, when you know what you should do for no apparent reason, or feel what some people would just call empathy for someone's sadness that you have no real reason to know about, you just start to accept maybe there is a reason behind it, a reason you may never know.

Personally, I find some things on here resonate with me; some do not. How do I try to figure out what guidance to take? Well, I listen to that little voice inside that tells me what to do to help myself an others. If it compels me to try the grounding technique, I do that. Regardless of whether it is a spirit guide, the voice of the Holy Spirit, the universe, your destiny, an awareness of the vibrational energies around you giving an indication of what you should do, some transdimensional understanding of things, of something else entirely, it apparently steers you in the right direction. I'd say the best thing to do is keep following it. Personally, I sometimes take a step back and ask myself if what I am compelled to do is a reasonable thing to do. For instance, if I woke up feeling compelled to suddenly move to the Bahamas, I would probably question that decision and acknowledge a personal bias of hating the cold, and realize that might be influencing my interpretation of what I am feeling. Usually wanting to do something feels very different from needing to do something so that scenario hasn't really happened, I just periodically take a step back and make sure.(I guess that is part of my answer to #2 of your questions)Also, of course, if you feel compelled to do something morally wrong, you should probably avoid that. This hasn't happened to me, nor do I think it'll happen to you, but just in case someone reads this and happens to be actually having a psychotic break and misinterprets what they are experiencing for whatever is happening here, I'm just mentioning it.

2.) So to more specifically answer this question...

If the world feels sort of noisy, if you feel like you are getting too much information emotional or otherwise, the grounding tips (specifically in Empath Training) helps tune some of that out, without taking away the compelling feeling to do whatever it is you need to do. I've just started meditation, and I find it helpful. From there, you may be able to find out what else you can do. Sometimes, I find that when I do certain activities, the part of me that feels compelled to do things is sort of tuned out. Specifically, this usually has to do with logical thought; solving math problems, piecing together information from scientific literature, doing logic puzzles, etc. Artistic pursuits tend to make it stronger. If you find yourself with a similar pattern, try to maintain a link to whatever it is that tells you what you do. In my case, I try to have an artistic outlet at almost all times. Nature also helps me simply feel better as well.

Also, please don't be too hard on yourself about the suicides. You are only human, and you made the decision to act in the way that you did as such. You do not even know for sure that you would have saved them. Perhaps you became aware of those events simply to make sure that you went down the path you are now on and eventually you will pay attention to someone you will help in the future. And even if your being there would have made the difference, once again, you are a human living in a world that doesn't accept these sorts of feelings as real; it is pointless to be terribly hard on yourself because you grew up in this world and didn't immediately run to do the bidding of this possibly (as you probably thought at the time) imaginary feeling. I know it is tough; I've worked through similar feeling myself (different circumstance, but still harm caused to others that may have been avoided by my doing what felt I should do). I sincerely hope you can give yourself forgiveness if you are still carrying around that guilt.

ellicent
@ellicent
2 years ago
38 posts

Thank you for taking the time to type up such a long reply! I really appreciate it. It's good to find another scientist on here (Well, technically I'm an engineer, but a STEM field is a STEM field right?)

I try not to carry around so much guilt. I know that ultimately their deaths aren't my fault, and the fact that I was there for my friend this summer is a huge comfort (I'm getting more used to the feeling, and better at recognizing it, it seems)

I'm trying to think up ways to test this phenomenon with scientific methods. I want to find out more about it, and that seems a logical place to start. Have you done any experiments of your own? Or thought of any ways to conduct such an experiment? There are so many issues with crafting a proper test in this situation I'm having a hard time figuring out where to start. Every empath, it seems, seems to be very different (so repeatable trials with a variety of subjects will be tough) and keeping things blind (or hopefully double-blind) will be even harder, given that we'd have to know the person is an empath in the first place.

I'm working out a few ideas, but I need to develop them some more. Will you let me know if you have any ideas of your own?

Lulip
@lulip
2 years ago
36 posts

Welcome!

I can relate to jolting awake with a feeling of urgency, or that something is "wrong." This has happened to me once before with an online friend, where I then discovered dozens of messages after I woke up. I've never dealt with suicides, although I've been around plenty of depressed people, and I know when something's off about them. I don't have as many experiences, because I'm quite a deal younger than most people here.

As for a scientific explanation, I have none. I do believe, however, that EVERYTHING can be explained with science, even if that's to happen in the near future. Right now, anything "psychic" seems to be taboo basically everywhere, since the majority of the population doesn't posess such "abilities."

And don't blame yourself for the suicides. You were unaware of the situation at the time, and even if you did get through to your friends you may not have been able to stop them. You aren't responsible for other people, and you should DEFINITELY not be hard on yourself about that. Instead, use your new awareness to help/prevent future incidents.

As for tips, I would recommend just experimenting with your abilities. It can be a great tool.

Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
272 posts

Hi Ellicent:

Welcome to the EC

On the scientific side, have a look at my post from February on Quantum Entanglement,
http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/forum/topics/quantum-physics...

Please don't blame yourself for "missing". The responsibility was theirs and theirs alone. What you got was part of your training as an empath and students are supposed to make "mistakes" while they are learning. What you were given was the chance to recognize the signs. Your abilities will only continue to develop with time, with practice, and with your acceptance. In that regard it sounds like you are doing great!

Blessings,

Trevor

water_lily
@water-lily
2 years ago
90 posts

Well, first you'd need money to try to set up one of these experiments and willing people to participate :) The first place I would think to start would be to show there is a measurable difference in the ability of empaths to feel others emotions and non-empaths. At this point, you'd have to use non-self categorization because there is no set measure for empathic ability. Without going into too much detail, have people look at pictures that elicit a strong emotional reaction and define themselves what emotion they are feeling. Have other people in four different groups. Each person meets the "feelers" at some point. Have one empath group and one non-empath group see the feelers emotional reaction in close quarters (to control for one group being better at reading facial expressions). Have another group of empaths and another group of non-empaths experience the same situation but without visual access to the feelers. Have a preset list of acceptable words; if one the feeler rights sad, does an answer of "melancholy" count? Based on that preset list, have another group of people with only access to numbers (codes defining each subject, but not empathic ability or group number) and answers for the feeling decide whether or not they match. I think the scientific community needs some basic idea that this exists before it'll accept further experiments.

If you happen to complete step one and it shows a measurable difference between empaths and non-empaths, then I'd move on to measuring brain activity in similar situations and compare between groups. Does one group have more brain activity than another? Do the brain scans reveal more developed areas in the brain in one group or another.

Basically, from there, you'd need to work to recreate the possible explanations one at a time. For example, can you recreate vibrational energy without a human being present? If so, can an empath pick up on when that vibrational energy is "on" more (statistically significantly) frequently than a non-empath?

This isn't my exact area of expertise in science, but this is what I would do if I were given free reign and lots of money with which to research and enough completely willing volunteers. The reason that I only focused on the emotional aspect here is simply because the feeling emotion aspect is one the 1.) Empaths are used to dealing with 2.) Does not usually cause harm if you do not act on it in controlled situations. If you were to focus on people feeling like the need to do something and study them, you'd probably be preventing them from doing that thing.

Personally, I have a part of my brain that sort of self-monitors whatever it is that I am doing or thinking. It is the same part of my brain that logically tries to look at whether my feeling like I need to do something is reasonable. I make note of when things change (feel different) and when they are always the same. But I am a study group of one so anything that happens to me may or may not be true of the community as a whole.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Hi Ellicent. Your working theory is similar to mine, that there could be something involved with time as we don't know it and some people are more sensitive to whatever it is, but I'm not totally committed to that thought. I also started out as a scientist, science degrees, worked in research lab, atheist...but had the strange experiences that forced me to wonder if there is something else going on. It was also the suicides that mostly caught my attention but there were lots of other small things.

I know nothing beyond the work in quantum that comes close to explaining these occurrences. Just of interest, there is a school of Buddhism, the Sarvastivada, that had the theory that time exists all at once, or that the past becomes manifest in the present, and the future is already latent in the present. I feel there is truth in that.

I also think that we are all connected and can sense traumatic events based on that connection, like the Aboriginal people who are still more closely in touch with their natural states. The trauma seems like a ripple in space/time.

I let go of the science to a degree for a while to explore these questions, but still come back to the idea that they can be explained. . . even if the explanation isn't what we might originally suspect. We can't deny that the premonitions happen. The explanation seems of secondary importance, really, but it would be nice to know. I does make like interesting to think about it.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

And like Water Lily was saying, meditation and trusting your feelings will give you more sensitivity. Suspending logical thought and letting the creative run free can be helpful. You will still come back to logic eventually.

Trevor Lewis
@trevor-lewis
2 years ago
272 posts

My own analogy on "time":

Time is like a book. The whole book exists at once, but it has to be read in sequence to make any sense to us. Certain abilities allow some people to skip forward (or back) a few pages.

ellicent
@ellicent
2 years ago
38 posts

I'm very interested!

I think I saw a TEDtalk about this a while ago. I'll see if I can find it again.

moon
@moon
2 years ago
73 posts

I suspect that if I hadn't begun having anomalous experiences beginning in infancy and continuing throughout my life, I too would be very skeptical about these things. I think it's part of my nature (maybe part of everyone's?) to apply logic first and rely on the things we've been taught that could and couldn't be when presented with experiences that don't fit with the accepted world view.

While I still don't think there's a problem with this approach in general, I've come to apply my skepticism within a larger context. That context is one that: accepts that reality is much greater (and much different) than we've heretofor suspected - that there are things about our own reality that defy measurement or quantification - our science is limited to what we know and there is much we don't know (perhaps the greater part of this ratio.) - we cannot measure these things against our "knowledge to date" but instead see these experiences as pointing up our need to learn more.

I think we need to understand that the scientific method simply fails us when it comes to anomalous experiences. I don't think it's about having to "comply" with this method in order for something to be understood as real but rather, allow for more fluidity in the method itself in order to understand the experience. I think it's at this point, science can become just another belief system that rejects anything outside its own dogma.

Real freedom of thought for me is in finally being "okay" with uncertainty. I have come to accept that there are things that don't fit my basic worldview but that they exist nontheless. For this reason I am able to maintain a level of (healthy) skepticism AND accept that these kinds of things do happen in actuality. I can hold these experiences (mine and others) at this point of balance because I have nothing to prove either way.

Anyway, this has worked for me and although it sounds impossible or at the very least really frustrating, I have found it freeing somehow. I am still endlessly fascinated by the so-called paranormal and I am passionately spiritual in my own way. I am still in deep love with this planet and nature and how it works. I guess it's like Einstein said: "You can either see it all as a miracle or you can see none of it as a miracle" I probably butchered that, but you know the quote!

Someone in this discussion (can't find it now) used the word "resonate". I agree with that word as a way of knowing one's personal truth. I think we all have that little antenna that helps to guide us. Of course, that begs the question: Is what's true for me also true for you lol?

moon
@moon
2 years ago
73 posts

Just want to add for ellicent: I remember hearing or reading somewhere that psychic impressions ALWAYS begin as negative ONLY precognitions but that if the individual works on their abilities, they eventually broaden to include positive and neutral information.

Many, many people had visions of 911 before it happened. I remember hearing about one woman who dreamed about running in panic with hundreds of people while ash and debris fell all around them. She was sure there was going to be a volcano eruption the next day - it was September 11th.

There are people who dream or have visions of catastrophic plane crashes that they know are going to happen. Which airline? Where? Who do you call? You'd certainly risk being visited by Homeland Security if you started calling all the airlines...

You can't beat yourself up for anything. If I had a premonition that someone was going to commit suicide, I'm wouldn't really believe it enough to actually say something. I think the only people who would are those who have years and years of working with their premonitions seriously and probably professionally. The way I see it, if someone has decided to commit suicide for real, they are going to see that it happens. At best they will delay it. People who are determined to do it usually do or they reach out for help. Either way, they're in control. I'm saying this as a therapist.

So why get these premonitions then? Maybe it's personal. Maybe it's information about yourself - that you have an ability that everyone has to one degree or another. Most people (myself included) have it to a much lesser degree than you but there are some who have it to a high degree - like you. Maybe you're getting a nudge that it's time to acknowledge it.

I don't think it means you need to believe in crystals or unicorns. If you study bona fide psychics, they run the gamut from those who are very grounded and approach their ability scientifically to those who wear long purple robes and call themselves Starchild Princess or some such thing. That's just different belief systems and personalities. Mark Anthony (a psychic and lawyer) is one who always struck me as pretty grounded.

One theory about these abilities involves our concept of time. We experience time as linear but that doesn't mean that it IS linear. What if the past, present and future are all happening now? Perhaps some people can just tap into that ball of events spontaneously. The truth is just because we don't understand the mechanics (yet) doesn't make it woo-woo. That's a popular notion based on the superstitions of our ancestors.

Jung discussed the collective unconscious who some have compared to the notion of the Akashic records that contain all knowledge and experiences that have ever or will ever happen.

Why not educate yourself about these experiences and see what feels true for you? Find a mentor that you can trust and respect and polish your gift so that you will see it as an asset and not a source of anxiety. You are so not alone. There is a great deal of support on this forum. Much love.

ellicent
@ellicent
2 years ago
38 posts

Thanks for such a long and thoughtful response -- I really appreciate it!

I've been working on being okay with that uncertainly. I'd prefer knowing, but having a working theory seems to satisfy my scientific "itch"

I personally do think that there is a way to explain this scientifically, but we're probably many years away from understanding it. The same way the ancient greeks created gods and goddesses to explain what were (then) mysteries, is the same way we create ghosts and the paranormal to explain things that we just haven't quite figured out yet (and maybe never will).

I really appreciate that you mentioned the "time all at once" theory - it makes sense from a dimensional standpoint and I've been thinking about it for a while as a possible explanation.

ellicent
@ellicent
2 years ago
38 posts

Both. They're likely both involved, right? What do you know?

also, please share any journal articles or whatnot you've been looking at, as well as any other sources. They're a lot to get through but I like reading the original sources whenever I can.

Rene''
@rene
2 years ago
1,194 posts
If someone told you the answer, could your mind conceive it? Could your or would you except the answer if you could not prove it? Speaking from a right brain dominance (my condition) perspective , the answer "why" isn't as important as "what can I do" to help". You can either resist your abilities and live your life "wondering" at a stand still or you can embrace your abilities and accept the unknown and travel unbelievable depths of the mind, In and out of body, that most people could only dream of. It's like we are two siblings in a back seat of a car on a long vacation. We is say " are we there yet" and the other one just chilling, taking in the scenery. Neither right or wrong , on there way to the same destination.I'm sorry you have had bad experiences but when we take on others feeling, that does not mean we can stop the inevitable. But there are tools you can learn to deal with it. Being an intelligent individual as yourself, it's hard to understand there are things that are out of our control and ones knowledge cannot change that. But excepting it for what it is , is your answer you should began with.I know at this point of time in your life, what I have said sounds like gibberish , but after you learn to relax your mind, it will make since. In the end, it's all about love.
ellicent
@ellicent
2 years ago
38 posts

Thanks -- I'll see what books I can find on these subjects

Share This

From Our Sponsors

  • intuitive reading
  • empath book