anger issues, or potential schizophrenia

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Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
2 years ago
373 posts

After 6 weeks of passionate romance, the new boyfriend (14 years younger), has moved countries and moved in with me (after me being happily single for 10 years), Problem now is that what was a little angel, very sensitive and spiritual too, has regular turns into anger and hate phases. During such he literally turns into a little monster - unfair, unreasonable, offensive, nasty etc. (luckily no physical abuse).

Now he supposedly has had a difficult childhood, and is Latino (they just seem to be addicted to drama). When he is in his turns it literally takes all my energy to not react and be sucked into his anger energies (and I do not always manage).

I do believe that everything can be healed, and the whole thing might be a massive healing crisis - but it is hard not to fear that I might have bitten off more than I can chew? At the mo, he blocks all efforts/ arguments for him to see a psychologist or psychiatrist (but then he is in drama mode currently.) The whole thing is quite exhausting. When we met he had a few turns that only lasted a few hours usually, and now they last 2-3 days. We then have 2-3 good days and the whole thing starts again...

Anyone has/ had similar experiences? Anything that has helped (besides prayer, channeling healing energies and meditating)? Any time frames?

Many thanks!!! Love and Light!


updated by @goodenergyhealing: 04/06/17 12:10:04PM
47th Wonder
@47th-wonder
2 years ago
15 posts

You may need to slowly detach from him, get him out of your life, and move on. Although you really seem to love him, is it really worth all of the trouble? Are his actions and negativity worth the good times you have together? He seems to have serious mental problems but this does not sound anything like schizophrenia but who knows. His issues sound deep and you even said he had a rough childhood. He likely needs to seek professional help but is reluctant as you would expect anyone to be. This situation is much more complicated since he now lives with you. His energy is dangerous mentally and spiritually. If he really flies off the handle it may become physical. DO NOT let it get to that point, tell him either to seek treatment and changes his ways or move out. You do not have to break up with him but your own comfort and safety is worth more than making sure his feelings are not hurt.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

You are probably seeing the real person now. Six weeks is not long enough to know someone. I fear you will have trouble getting him out. I have had experience with that kind of thing, twice, actually. Both times I ended up paying for a place for them to go just to get them out. One got violent and threatened to burn my house down. I met him when I was very young and got totally enmeshed...wasted lots of years trying to help him. He was Spanish, and yes, very hot blooded by nature (not that it was because of being Spanish....he also had a tough childhood) and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar but would not stick to any treatment.That whole thing took a lot out of me and I tried everything. Sometime things would be better for a while, usually after I kicked him out and let him come back. Then it would start back up. I think that happened about 6-7 times. At the end, I knew it was him or me.

I would recommend not provoking him since you really don't know this person. Start thinking of an exit plan, just in case. Sorry to be pessimistic but that was my experience. Good luck!

Eduardo Guillermo Vera
@eduardo-guillermo-vera
2 years ago
18 posts

Hi there:

Love is a bad filter in the beginning you should have known him better before you let him in

And your Latino comment make me smile a little

P.S. Even the moon has a dark side

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
2 years ago
82 posts

Oh, no. I hate to hear that you are experiencing this. Having read your book (which I adored, by the way, you have such an endearing style and voice, and I love your precision and honesty; I am still processing many things you said in your book, and trialling your heels up grounding this last many weeks, etc) I was so happy when I saw you mention in another thread you'd found a boyfriend after ten years solo. But... This does not sound good.

The difficulty is he has now moved in with you. That then becomes, especially given he's from another country, a real problem if you wanted, say, to gain some space to feel and think this all out. Which of course you know.

I can only project my own past experience with a man who also had a very difficult childhood (hey, so did I!) and tormenting anger issues. I ended up with him moving in to where I was living after a few weeks together, and then I couldn't throw him out, or find the ability in myself to leave after a while, and I ended up very mentally, physically (became chronically ill), and emotionally damaged by the years I spent with him. He never sought help. I believed I would be the one to fix him with my understanding. Oh, god. Don't be like me!

This will chew you up.

I think, if you could find him other accomodation he could flounce off and smash plates etc there? But it sounds very difficult. I wish you well, you are a lovely human being and deserve the world - not this.

dariasdouble212
@dariasdouble212
2 years ago
55 posts

This sounds EXACTLY like my co-worker! He's gay, from Columbia, and being from there he had a rough go of it, hence why he moved to the states. He has great qualities, then he has horrible qualities. His ego is incredibly huge, and he thinks people do things on purpose to upset him, because that's what he does. I determined he is not worth the daily fluctuations of intense emotions. When he's mad at you, you KNOW if. He's extremely abusive with his emotions, and is verbally abusive to people. He's a psychic vampire and feels good when he has power over other people's emotions, I.e. making them feel bad. He's a control freak, and even goes so far as to control what work fellow employees work on, even though he had no authority over it. He threatened to beat me up once (said he didn't care if he went to jail. I'm female). Essentially he's a child who, like you said, throws tantrums if, God forbid, someone upsets him. There's no winning with someone whose ego is so large, they think they are God.

KRenee
@krenee
2 years ago
15 posts
seek professional assistance, do not put yourself to remain in a situation that has possibility to turn violent - your heart is in a good place however this sounds beyond your ability to have peace
Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
2 years ago
373 posts

Thanks for all the comments below!!! For some reason this forum does not send notifications about all chats I am in to my e-mail any more. Had thought no-one cared about my issue :( - glad to find now it is not true!!!

To update you all - He has moved out now twice, the second time for good. Towards the end there he was full blown paranoid delusional (thinking I have an affair with the plumber, come to fix the boiler, etc, etc.). Overall I'd say he has Narcissist Personality disorder and maybe a few other bit thrown in. He moved out for no good reason. Well, I tend to think it was the continued healing I sent, and not giving into his manipulations, that made it impossible fro his NPD energies to let him stay in the house. It was the best outcome - The positive energies in the beginning felt very genuine, so we had pretty much made very strong promises to each other - In good times as in bad times - which I did not have to break from my side in the end.

Now three weeks on feeling much better, but my energies still feel a bit poisoned. Am positive that shall pass as well.

On the upside I learned some Spanish and might have some material for a Tele-Novella there ;)

Love and Light!

Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
2 years ago
373 posts

Thanks so much - please see my comment below!

Excited to hear you read my book and enjoyed it!!! Now more time again, so will have to get my behind in gear and do some book PR (and this comment was a nice boost for it!)

Lavender&rose
@lavenderrose
2 years ago
82 posts

Oh, hooray!!! (Change the locks!)

It probably was the healing sent - plus we're no fun to NPD types if we are not reacting to them, I've heard.

You are a good man (and quite the spunk!), and I am so sorry your romance did not pan out as it seemed it might at the start. So glad you've got your space back to yourself. It probably will take a while for the energetic detritus and the emotional shock to settle. But well done!

Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
2 years ago
373 posts

I have also attached a blog post to my profile here, with a bit more detail, and my now spiritual perspective and understandings of NPD!

Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
2 years ago
373 posts

:) Thanks!

PD2012
@pd2012
2 years ago
20 posts

I read your blog and from what you wrote, I wouldn't rule out Bipolar. Whatever mood disorder he suffers from, I think you are better off not having this person in your life. It had to have been exhausting these last few months for you emotionally. Sometimes we just can't fix that type of broken. I think there was too much turmoil in the beginning and it probably couldn't have ended any other way no matter how much time and energy you were willing to put into the relationship.

I believe that in any relationship in order for it to be a healthy one, there needs to be a sense of trust. Testing you in the beginning of the relationship only suggests that he knows he is not trustworthy, therefore, he trusts no others. I also think I'd grieve a bit to have extended your home, yourself and your energy to another person where you obviously had high hopes of a lasting relationship suddenly materialized into something not very good.

Are you sure that right person for you isn't already in your life now? Maybe someone you've just overlooked?

Goodenergyhealing
@goodenergyhealing
2 years ago
373 posts

thanks for that. Yeah, think that is the biggest issue - going from potential life long mate outlook to just a terrible 3 months disaster. Also that during being with him, my communication with the Divine was tampered with. I had my doubts much earlier, and every time I asked my guides, I got a thumbs up - like 'I will be happy with him'. Which makes me conclude that there is some very powerful messed up energies behind his mental challenges....

I think I'll definitely go back to my 'not actively looking' modus for a bit. If life surprises me with another potential mate - I'll be testing that one much more extensively, before committing and connecting more closely again. (the esoteric community keeps on telling us - 'To follow our heart', but I think I'll be using my mind even more now :))

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