Empaths: What kind of people do you attract?
updated by @hannahzen: 03/15/17 11:47:53PM
I believe the Light attracts the Dark. No, it doesn't mean you are meant to help them.
The people you should help are yourself (save yourself from mean and negative people!), those you know and love, friends you like, or people you instincively feel the call to help - those who need your help temporarily maybe and who intend to do something with your help other than suck it up and spit it back out at you.
Don't waste your energy on people who will only waste you.
It may be your vulnerability and tenderness is attracting them, or your kind open eyes. But some bad types will take advantage of us wherever and whenever they can. I attracted them for years, too. It sucks.
I also attract narcissits, users and abusers. Actually, not that I'm a qualified to make such a bold statement but I'm fairly sure a good childhood friend of mine is a narcissist. I've read somewhere that empaths CANNOT stand narcissits. Of course, I had to laugh because my best friend seems to be one. After I hang out with her, it literally feels like the energy is sucked out of me. I feel crappy on the inside out. Do you know why this is? I don't!
I've felt like moving too! Starting new somewhere, making a fresh start. Although, after much thought, I've come to the conclusion I would still find users, mean and nasty people wherever I go. So, I figure mine as well learn how to protect myself from them in a known, safe environment close to my family before I have any adventures. You know?
Thank you for answering my question. I like the advice, it actually did put things into perspective because strange people often do "spit" my kindness out after getting what they want from it. I feel like most of my high school experience was wasted on people who used my "empathy" for their own selfish ways.
Now I just have to learn how to be trusting but know when someone is just going to use me, you know?
Bare with me I went off on this one.
Well I am usually the 'go to person' and since I became more in tune strangers and colleagues ask me about stuff and find me more comfortable but that hasn't always happened to me being an empath. I think it can depend on the personality of the empath a lot. Someone who seems confident will attract someone who is very anxious because they will seek comfort, or will scare people who are anxious. While an empath that is anxious may repel people a lot easier. Actually when I am anxious I noticed that people stay away a lot more. An empath projecting kindness in abundance I think would attract those sort of users the most, a calm one that is not hostile as well. From what I have read online the abundance of abusers seems to be very high in the West compared to other places with different cultures.
Empaths can be very independent and charismatic from what I have understood, once they develop their abilities well, while the ones who aren't as good at processing a lot of emotion may seem erratic when under excessive stress. The lifestyle of an empath can lead them to become very tough mentally, since they are constantly receiving mental stress. Empaths are also recognized for their high, in cases even abnormally high tolerance and this may be due to the fact that certain empaths develop their abilities as a means for survival. People in abusive scenarios could not afford to be unaware of the emotions of their abusers because one wrong move could mean trouble, so they unconsciously use their emotional sensors to survive easier. This can also mean that someone in a less abusive, but perceivably 'bad' situation like being used for something trivial would not defend themselves and the user would become a 'regular customer' for free service at no fee. When you look into it it is sad because the emotionally abused person is abused because they were emotionally abused while the ignorant abuser may have no such awareness, or worse, may not even try to understand that far.
Empaths are just very trustworthy which is why they are an easier target. I have to find out how to be hostile at times to prevent someone trying to manipulate me, but it is so annoying. Good is repaid with bad and empaths have to be alert around their own damn species. What is worse is it is because they project a prosocial aura, and social structure is what helped people survive for many years. The biggest threat to humans are humans and it pisses me off, and I am sure it does others, to the point of aggression, but rather than entertain it I am caught in a loop trying to find a solution, and I realize anger is just stressful and unproductive when not used well. Why should kindness be restricted at all? I went off on a tangent there but I felt I had to express it. I got irritated.
I read one of your replies and it was along the lines of 'if I moved somewhere else there would still be abusive people' and I don't think that is the case. I don't know where you are, but here in the West with this subtly pro-psychotic influence/social frame I think you could find many of those kinds of personalities in unsuspecting places, though I have read online that someone was in a place and people were very respectful but when they took post secondary in the West they were just being used because of their generous nature.
I too attract very negative souls, I am blessed with a very loving daughter and partner though. Also like your research, mine only results in empathy as a wonderous`gift`
What about the negative and darker side of others attaching itself to your energy.
I do believe we are empaths for a reason, what use would having the ability to soak up other emotional states if there was no reason? So I do believe we are supposed to help them
Not sure, I theorize maybe that we need learn to place empathy within them and connect to being the oneness that the human race actually is? - turn the table so to speak, our empathy projected - The problem though is we are vulnerable esp if we dont know what we are (I only found out recently).
Your Divine power to bring out the mean in others maybe that your soul is reaching out to the darker souls and inviting them to reveal themselves to you like a message? To prove to yourself you are indeed gifted with empathy that will eventually lead to more revelations as to what and who you really are (not a mere human) - I believe all soul messages are individual and personal, mine has seemingly been anxious twinges around the same situation/individual for over a year.... I brushed aside until the twinges became bigger, even bigger then I crashed, burned out and could not function - it then began to make so much sense.
Recognition of a pattern, even if negative pattern is a step to understanding it maybe?
I have encountered many negative people and even brought some into my life but only because my thoughts were negative. Pay attention to your thoughts, words, and actions then determine if they are negative or positive. People are very negative without even knowing. People are full of envy without even knowing. I have been a culprit of this myself. As an awakening empath, always gauge your emotions and know why you feel that way then do something to fix that. Listening to binaural beats or music for positive thinking helps me when I am feeling negative. If these negative people are friends of yours, you need to assess your friendship and eventually move on because negative people leech on to empaths because of our vulnerability and tremendous energy. If you end up alone, you must use this time to learn about yourself. Eventually life will bring you a few good friends that you can rely on and learn from. These people will build you up instead of drag you down. I am currently in the process of leaving my old friends. I have known them for nearly half of my life but as I grow and learn I am starting to realize they are parasites.