I Love an Empath

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marka
@marka
2 years ago
3 posts

Hi Everybody,

New to this community and I am here because I need some help. I am in love with a beautiful, wonderful woman who happens to be HIGHLY empathic. I'm here to ask for support in helping to understand HOW to love a woman like this without overwhelming her.

How do we recover from arguments when she can feel and sense my energy "in her bones"? She loves me and I love her, but when we disagree it makes her nervous to the point where she withdraws from the relationship. I feel like there's a huge wall between us that I cannot break down.

How do I diffuse disagreements before they arise?

Need help and thoughts please.

thanks

Mark


updated by @marka: 01/27/17 06:25:15PM
LaoG
@laog
2 years ago
137 posts

Well empaths may have issues with trusting others because they can sense a lot of lies growing up, so first of all try not to hide your feelings is an idea I got I am not some relationship therapist so these are just ideas. She could be afraid from disagreement because she may sense hostility or something for all I know. I think it is mostly like dealing with a regular person but just don't lie and don't suppress your emotions if you are not feeling pleased we can notice that. Try to keep your emotions without being attached to them, if you can. That is a tough technique that takes a lot of discipline but it is possible. The huge wall, idk what caused it, but it seems logical for it to be based on all the lies empaths sense and such, I also have a wall that I have let nobody in. It could be she is afraid of being rejected, empaths tend to be betrayed when they are very altruistic so rejection is something certain empaths may face a lot.

People are not comfortable with arguments when they don't trust the other person or they cannot process the emotions mixed in conflict well. To diffuse the issue just try to be patient and honest, if you can't process your emotions well then the strong ones you send can tire her out. I suggest taking up meditation if you are usually more emotionally charged. Or something else that keeps you calm, if that is the case. Hope this helped.

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
726 posts
It has taken my husband nine years to figure this one out. For me, the most important thing is to not have very intense emotions come at me (yelling, cussing, etc). They are very upsetting and hard to get over. It takes a LOT longer to recover from the influx of such negative energy. A cooling off period, like to get calmed down before discussing heavy issues is alway good. Try to give her some space to recover from the overload of "bad vibes". That is probably why you see her withdrawal. Try to end on a good note if possible, like a good long hug after a misunderstanding. Hope this helps, kudos to you for being so caring. She is a lucky girl :)
marka
@marka
2 years ago
3 posts

Thanks. This is helpful. It's not easy at times to be in relationship with her. I feel like I have to be very careful with what I say and do. I'm working on it.

Mark

Dice
@dice
2 years ago
284 posts

I cannot handle yelling.. constant negativity.. or someone who laughs at another person's expense.. mean spirited..

One of the biggest issues I have had in relationships is that when you can feel the other person and they do not open up and talk.Many times I felt things coming from him that he would NEVER admit and that I would wait for him to talk about. He never would ~ and it created a huge, as you put it "wall between us".

The first thing I seem to do is withdrawl too.. any sort of deceit and I am going to exit. I don't know that you can avoid all the disagreements.. but possibly change the way the two of you communicate to each other. Sometimes you may not want to talk .. and have to just say that. Same goes for her.. it is give and take no matter who she is.. and respect, honesty, and understanding go a long way..

Then there are times she may pick up on things you do not even realize are going on inside you. Being aware of yourself and your thoughts and actions are important.. of course that is just my opinion.. and I am just a Dice..

Take Care!

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
726 posts
I understand that. I think at times my husband feels the same way :) As LaoG mentioned. Try to be as honest as you can because discrepancies in what is being said and what you are actually feeling causes distress too when it comes to disagreements. That will cause distrust and withdrawal as well. Hope you two can work it out.Blessings..
marka
@marka
2 years ago
3 posts

Thanks. We just talked a bit. At the end of the conversation she had to get up and leave because her throat was tight and she was very uncomfortable. We spent a lot of time talking about the work I am doing to try to mitigate our problems. She said that the biggest point of withdraw for her comes because she always second guesses herself on what she should and should not say to me. She is worried about if what she says will offend me or make me upset. I can be sensitive at times, but I certainly don't want her second and third guessing things that she says to me. I want her to feel comfortable expressing herself. I think this is something that I personally have to work on if I give out that energy. That I am sure is a big part of why she puts up the wall.

Mark

sensitivegirl
@sensitivegirl
2 years ago
1 posts

I think it would be important for her to understand her own vulnerabilities as an Empath. If she is able to share some of her own feelings with fellow Empaths, if she can learn and gain valuable help from forums such as this, as well as all information through books and through the internet - this may help her gain confidence in dealing with her nervousness and allowing her to open up and break down those walls.

As an Empath, I allow myself to open up to my love. He knows my sensitivities, he embraces them and when I have meltdowns, or disagreements - he allows me the space and time needed to return to each other.

I hope this helps, and I really wish you both well.

Tanya x

Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
726 posts
That makes sense that her throat tightens up/not sure what to say. There is a connection. Hopefully she will get past this worry and speak from the heart. Good luck to the both of you.

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