Girl, I get you. I got into a "relationship" with a guy in 7th grade. At least as much of a relationship as you can be in at that age. We dated until my sophomore year of college. I've always been mature for my age. We broke up. I went through the depression. Got a eating disorder. Learned to love myself, beat the eating disorder. Fell in love with the "right guy", I think. I still have a desire to know that the other guy is "ok." He hates me. I don't love him in the way that I want to spend my life with him, I love him in the way that I want him to be HAPPY and OK. He hates me. Nothing I can do about it. After seven years I have an attachment, a cord, with him. Could this be your case?