Are you competitive?

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AnneRose
@annerose
2 years ago
19 posts

I have never been what you would call a competitive person. I enjoy sports and games but I prefer to play against myself versus someone else. I always find myself holding back if I am in the lead so the other person doesn't feel bad and that usually causes me to lose the lead. Sometimes I actually feel guilty if I win.

I am wondering now if this is just one of my many weird quirks or is this an empath trait.

So I am asking you, my fellow empaths......

Are you competitive?

Please explain how winning and losing makes you feel.

For me, this is a very intriguing topic.


updated by @annerose: 01/17/17 07:40:35PM
Crownite
@crownite
2 years ago
107 posts

Not really, no. But I'm comfortable with competition and I have met empaths who are competitive.

Reckless
@reckless
2 years ago
117 posts
Very competitive. The thing is I'm not interested in winning. Only to see how I measure up against my opponent(s) when I'm at my best point. After that I lose interest.This can be anything from video games, to exercise, to sports.I do enjoy a great challenge, especially when I believe it is outside my limits or I'm greatly underestimated.
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
733 posts
Very competitive, however, if I lose it isn't a big deal to me. I just like the challenge.
Cat Whisperer
@cat-whisperer
2 years ago
733 posts
Would love a game, cannot find anyone that wants to play ;)
esoteric
@esoteric
2 years ago
16 posts

I was lead to my empath discovery by first discovering that I'm an indigo adult.

One characteristic of indigo's is the independent thinker (doer?) They prefer competing against themselves, aka personal achievement rather than being part of a winning "team".

Examples of this include the popularity of "extreme" sports. Skateboarding, BMX/biking/motorcross, surfing, skiing, snowboarding, skydiving, rock climbing come immediately to mind. Friends come together to support each other but no one's success depends on the performance of another on a team.

I grew up skateboarding. I'm still a bodyboarder and bodysurfer. I like pushing my own limits in the ocean.

I used to play soccer which I enjoy and we were even champions one season but winning didn't really effect my sense of fulfillment much either way.

Dice
@dice
2 years ago
284 posts

I cannot say I enjoy competition as much as it pushes me to be better at what I do. There is healthy competition and otherwise. I also find myself trying to comfort and encourage those who may be hung up on winning to a point it makes them feel like they are not good enough if they don't. Drives me crazy when parents make their kids feel that they are not good enough if they don't win. It is more about challenging yourself to push past where you were yesterday. It's not whether you win or loose.. but how you play the game. I like to learn and have fun more than anything.

AnneRose
@annerose
2 years ago
19 posts

I like these replies especially the one about kids. My husband, from a tiny child, was basically forced to play sports, baseball, basketball, football. We just recently got rid of all his trophies, and there were a lot of them. Thankfully it was his decision to get rid of them. I would never had made him. But since he was forced and didn't have much time for anything else our children are allowed to do what they want and if they start something and decide they do not like it they are allowed to stop. We do tell them about being responsible and thinking of the group or team that is relying on them but we do not force them to do anything that they do not have to do. Last year I was sitting at my daughter's school waiting for her to come out and there was a mother and son pitching a baseball, I watched them for a while and noticed the mother was getting a little annoyed. She went in the building and her son walked to their truck, I could feel his sadness, it was awful. I think he likes the sport but it wasn't fun for him anymore. It was very sad.

I feel deeply what other people feel and unless it is someone who has royally ticked me off, I do have a bit of a mean streak, it doesn't rear it's ugly head often and I have to be pushed to the brink before it does, it's hard for me to compete because most people are competitive and because I feel so deeply it's hard not to feel their disappointment. Like the rest of you winning and losing doesn't really affect me personally, I just like to play, but what the other person feels is what bothers me. I haven't quite learned how to turn it down yet, I am working on that.

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
2 years ago
230 posts

[So I've had two failed attempts at sending this reply, hopefully this time it will finally work!!! lol]

I am competitive, as you can probably tell from what I just wrote (I couldn't let my computer win!), but like you, I don't always like to win, especially if I'm competing against someone else. I tend to feel bad for them, and then I feel guilty, which makes winning feel like a negative thing.

So I've fought really hard against my competitiveness, especially since I have a twin sister, and I feel bad whenever something goes better for me than for her. I always sort of hope that if something has to go wrong for one of us, that it will go wrong for me, as terrible as that sounds...

Anyway, it's interesting that not all empaths are competitive. And this is only a theory, but I think the main reason is that some of us are "sensation seekers" and some are "non-sensation seekers." A sensation seeker loves to feel the heightened emotions of life (examples could be adrenaline, love, or winning), and a non-sensation seeker likes a more easygoing, low-key kind of life.

I'm a sensation seeker, but like most of you, I'm also a highly sensitive person, which means I tend to have "one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake." In other words, while I love the thrill of winning, being highly sensitive leads me to have mixed emotions about it when others are involved.

And others are usually involved, even when I'm working alone. Like for example, in my high school art classes, people would compliment my work, and they actually said "I hate you!" (joking around)... I could feel their jealousy, but I also felt some true anger from them, all joking aside.

So I've learned that comparing is bound to happen in life, unless I keep all of my work hidden away, which is a sad thought.

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