TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
3 years ago
391 posts
I know what you mean. I can't look at certain people in the eye either and avoid contactSometimes when I do I smile uncontrollably or I get scared. Then there are some that when I do its like I've become numb and just can. Not alot of good people in this world and that is sad.
Reckless
Reckless
@reckless
3 years ago
120 posts
A bit hard to explain. For instance eye contact can be tricky. The fastest way to connect with a person is through eye contact. This can also be a total deal breaker as you can sense something bad through their eyes. Eyes speak differently. They cannot lie. I don't believe in looking to the left or right because a skilled liar can fool you through their body. Their eyes will not lie to you. Watch them and you are watching their soul, in some way. When I mention soul, I'd mean the outline of it. You only have an idea of how this person works, while everything else is filled with thoughts.I can't really explain it. I hope this hits a nerve or ask.
TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
3 years ago
391 posts
I agree with reckless 110%. I really don't think this is a bad thing at all. At least you know who is a good person or not. Make and develop new friendships/relationships with the good. Maybe turn the blinders on when it's not necessary to know the person. I still struggle with turning off and on the blinders as I'm still new to this as well. But when I do turn them on and off as needed as I can, it's awesome!
TigerLily
TigerLily
@tigerlily
3 years ago
391 posts
Wow, that is crazy. I feel like for me as well it has worsened, or heightened the past few months as well. I know for sure I can't look at my one coworker in the eye, I just want to pass out. He's an emotional mess and it's like a whirlwind around me.
Kit Kat
Kit Kat
@kit-kat
3 years ago
232 posts
Hi Eddie, welcome to the EC!I just wanted to write that I've struggled with making eye contact a lot, too.. Ever since I found out I was an empath (about a month ago) I've figured it's probably an empath thing, so I guess that might be true :)For me, the whole "eyes are the window to the soul" thing is amplified, to the point where I think some people are weirded out by how well I can "see" them. Of course it's not like they say anything about that, but I can feel it.That's why I generally avoid looking people in the eyes for very long - sometimes it gets too intense, or their emotions rub off on me way more than they would otherwise, like you were saying.
Gin S
Gin S
@gin-s
3 years ago
225 posts

I have trouble with this too. It is worst when they are feeling something strongly. Like when my husband gets home from work and gets excited or angry about his day. I just can't look him in the eye or I flinch from the intensity of the emotions coming at me. If the other person is thinking or feeling more calmly then I don't have as much problem with meeting their eye. I think that is why I prefer to chat with people through writing then with face time. I can't read into their words in writing as much as I can with their tone, body language and emotions all coming at me in person.

Welcome to EC Eddie. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

water_lily
water_lily
@water-lily
3 years ago
90 posts

This is the story of my life. I'd get fussed at a lot as a child because my parents thought I was just being rude by avoiding eye contact. When your a kid, you think that everyone experiences the world similarly to you so I just thought everyone felt very uncomfortable (e.i. scared and flooded with weird emotions) when looking in people's eyes, but they just powered through it for the sake of being polite.

If possible:

1.) Get a job in which people expect you to be a little odd (I say that as someone in one of those jobs; people don't quite expect me to behave normally so I don't have to look everyone in the eyes all the time).

2.) Hang out with people from countries that see looking someone straight in the eyes as a sign of disrespect. They won't be bothered by a lack of eye contact.

3.) When you know you are going to be in situations in which eye contact is extremely important such as going into a business meeting at an American company, take a few minutes to focus on yourself and kind of extra shield yourself.

4.) If you aren't in situation 1,2, or 3, just look at the nose as a Robert Stewart mentioned, or do what I do and look at their mouth. People can kind of pick up on you not making eye contact, but it is close enough that it doesn't make them feel uncomfortable (This doesn't work in situation 3). Plus, this has the added benefit of letting you lip-read in case you happen to miss something someone said.

Rose3
Rose3
@soralei
3 years ago
49 posts
I had this problem too you know what I did.I looked people in the eye, and learned to filter the emotion. You can't hide from other people or their emotions.You can train yourself to deal with it.Ground the emotion and meditate.

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