Struggle with eye contact (Hi, I'm new)

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E_St. Laurent
@e-st-laurent
2 years ago
4 posts

Hey everyone,

My name is Eddie. I recently discovered I'm an Empath and I'm trying to be more in-tune with my inner self. As well as my emotions. But I find that I struggle with making eye-contact. I feel as if when I look into someones eyes I begin to pick up on their emotions too much and begin to see them objectively. It makes me uncomfortable. Especially when I am trying very hard not too. I feel as if I see the flaws in everyone and I find myself trying to help them without them asking me, verbally.This

This began fairly recently. I realized I grew up in an emotionally abusive household, and i'm still coping with it. And because of that, it's very hard to look my parents in the eye. As well as my older sister. I've forgiven them and i've reflected on my own faults too, but it's almost as if I feel bad for them.

This is the best way I can put it: "When I look into their eyes i'm afraid of what i'm going to see. I don't want to see them objectively."I see all their faults and I get a whole bunch of mixed emotions (mainly angry ones).

Has anyone been through anything like this? Or struggles with making eye contact because too many emotions flood you?

Blessings to all.


updated by @e-st-laurent: 03/14/17 12:49:48PM
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 years ago
309 posts
I know what you mean. I can't look at certain people in the eye either and avoid contactSometimes when I do I smile uncontrollably or I get scared. Then there are some that when I do its like I've become numb and just can. Not alot of good people in this world and that is sad.
visioneer67
@visioneer67
2 years ago
5 posts

I find it hard at times to.look people in the eyes. I always thought it was lack of confidence. But now after reading your entry, it probably is because of judging objectively. I have always been able to feel emotions from people. Its been a big help, and a pain at times. Your not alone in this area. I am just learning a lot about myself. Hope to see another entry. Take care.

kamz
@kamz
2 years ago
1 posts

first..i believe you should quiet your mind as much as you can..stop thinkingas an empath..you thoughts are what create a direction,..'like a flashlight in a dark room..and once you shine your light; your thought on "it"?,,.you begin to take on what it is who it is..why it is,..there are many layers to being an empath,..blessings..as i understand your pain,..all is well

Reckless
@reckless
2 years ago
117 posts
A bit hard to explain. For instance eye contact can be tricky. The fastest way to connect with a person is through eye contact. This can also be a total deal breaker as you can sense something bad through their eyes. Eyes speak differently. They cannot lie. I don't believe in looking to the left or right because a skilled liar can fool you through their body. Their eyes will not lie to you. Watch them and you are watching their soul, in some way. When I mention soul, I'd mean the outline of it. You only have an idea of how this person works, while everything else is filled with thoughts.I can't really explain it. I hope this hits a nerve or ask.
TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 years ago
309 posts
I agree with reckless 110%. I really don't think this is a bad thing at all. At least you know who is a good person or not. Make and develop new friendships/relationships with the good. Maybe turn the blinders on when it's not necessary to know the person. I still struggle with turning off and on the blinders as I'm still new to this as well. But when I do turn them on and off as needed as I can, it's awesome!
Robert Stewart
@robert-stewart
2 years ago
8 posts
Simple trick for that (cuz I have the same problem) focus on the bridge of their nose they will think ur looking them in the eyes and u will not pick up and their negative emotions
virgo9674
@virgo9674
2 years ago
11 posts

I have this problem and it has worsened in the last month's. I just discovered that there was a name to what I am......I am HIGHLY EMPATH and have been my whole life! I really struggle because I am a physical empath,emotional empath,have premonitions,and it works on me Constantly. I mean that it happens every minute of every day and I am ,so far,always 100% accurate. I even started hearing strAnge sounds since I found out, like a car engine- in my ear. Like a whisper coming and going through different loudnesses(for lack or a better word at the moment). The struggle is what do I do with this? I avoid eye contact from those that give me the strongest feelings,both physical, and emotional, and with strangers. I hate this and realized I have been avoiding eye contact for months now. I think because I have done things like- burst into tears on the spot!

E_St. Laurent
@e-st-laurent
2 years ago
4 posts

Yeah. I guess a better choice of words would've been that I can tell when someone is lying/wearing a mask, or putting on a face, rather than "faults". I feel like a detective when I make eye contact or like i'm seeing very deeply into someone. It's hard to put into words

E_St. Laurent
@e-st-laurent
2 years ago
4 posts

YES! I feel like i'm looking into someone's soul. I can sense their emotions very heavily through their eyes and it can be uncomfortable. It's really tough to explain

E_St. Laurent
@e-st-laurent
2 years ago
4 posts

Thanks for the advice!

TigerLily
@tigerlily
2 years ago
309 posts
Wow, that is crazy. I feel like for me as well it has worsened, or heightened the past few months as well. I know for sure I can't look at my one coworker in the eye, I just want to pass out. He's an emotional mess and it's like a whirlwind around me.
robinmi
@robinmi
2 years ago
2 posts

For me its eye contacts opens them up to me and i can sense them on a deeper level and they open up for me to sense something has happen i have to feel a presence almost not of a being but of something and my mind and feelings goes to what happened almost as if i was them or and extension of them..weird or if i am close to them for long periods in silence of my self and them i start to tune in other wise its just a flood of emotions and i can't tune into one person

Kit Kat
@kit-kat
2 years ago
230 posts
Hi Eddie, welcome to the EC!I just wanted to write that I've struggled with making eye contact a lot, too.. Ever since I found out I was an empath (about a month ago) I've figured it's probably an empath thing, so I guess that might be true :)For me, the whole "eyes are the window to the soul" thing is amplified, to the point where I think some people are weirded out by how well I can "see" them. Of course it's not like they say anything about that, but I can feel it.That's why I generally avoid looking people in the eyes for very long - sometimes it gets too intense, or their emotions rub off on me way more than they would otherwise, like you were saying.
Gin S
@gin-s
2 years ago
225 posts

I have trouble with this too. It is worst when they are feeling something strongly. Like when my husband gets home from work and gets excited or angry about his day. I just can't look him in the eye or I flinch from the intensity of the emotions coming at me. If the other person is thinking or feeling more calmly then I don't have as much problem with meeting their eye. I think that is why I prefer to chat with people through writing then with face time. I can't read into their words in writing as much as I can with their tone, body language and emotions all coming at me in person.

Welcome to EC Eddie. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

water_lily
@water-lily
2 years ago
90 posts

This is the story of my life. I'd get fussed at a lot as a child because my parents thought I was just being rude by avoiding eye contact. When your a kid, you think that everyone experiences the world similarly to you so I just thought everyone felt very uncomfortable (e.i. scared and flooded with weird emotions) when looking in people's eyes, but they just powered through it for the sake of being polite.

If possible:

1.) Get a job in which people expect you to be a little odd (I say that as someone in one of those jobs; people don't quite expect me to behave normally so I don't have to look everyone in the eyes all the time).

2.) Hang out with people from countries that see looking someone straight in the eyes as a sign of disrespect. They won't be bothered by a lack of eye contact.

3.) When you know you are going to be in situations in which eye contact is extremely important such as going into a business meeting at an American company, take a few minutes to focus on yourself and kind of extra shield yourself.

4.) If you aren't in situation 1,2, or 3, just look at the nose as a Robert Stewart mentioned, or do what I do and look at their mouth. People can kind of pick up on you not making eye contact, but it is close enough that it doesn't make them feel uncomfortable (This doesn't work in situation 3). Plus, this has the added benefit of letting you lip-read in case you happen to miss something someone said.

Rose3
@soralei
2 years ago
49 posts
I had this problem too you know what I did.I looked people in the eye, and learned to filter the emotion. You can't hide from other people or their emotions.You can train yourself to deal with it.Ground the emotion and meditate.
Brid
@brid
2 years ago
3 posts

I have always had lots of trouble making eye contact. I can do it with my husband and a couple of close friends and my children. But even other good friends and my mother, I just can't do it, and if I try I'll quickly look and then look away and look and look away. It must seem strange to everyone. I've never know there was a reason for it, and all this empath stuff is very knew to me...

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