Twin? I Need help quickly

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Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

I need help. I have met someone who I feel as if I would stop breathing if I were not in contact with him. I feel a magnetism to him that I do not understand. He is an empath. He is not as awake as I and I am unsure if he knows he is. We have slightly discussed it and he has many many traits, but is not awake to it...yet.I am in conflict with letting go and staying near. He is a constant thought. We have been physical and it makes me dizzy, lightheadedandI have anintoxicated and out of bodyfeeling when we are. He has tender, touching and loving moments then turns on me as if we have never touched and has no contact for a month or so.I amreluctant to call this love, but I feel so deeply for this man, how could it be anything else? I have never felt this deeply about anyone. In fact, my divorce was far simpler to let go of after 10 years of marriage than this currentarrangement after eight months. I feel crazy and hurt, yet I feel a draw to him like no other. Any other person and I would have been gone months ago. Help. Can anyone help me sort it and understand?


updated by @amanda-davis: 03/17/17 10:28:15PM
Dice
@dice
2 years ago
284 posts

I know I found mine.. and I do not feel that I can say anything. I ran away as fast as I could. I regret not stating how I felt.. but at the same time I know that it was not the right time.. things happen as they should and it was the single hardest thing I have ever had to do. I know things will be ok.. and I just focus on what I need to do right now. I can relate to the feelings you describe.. it plagues me. I have tried cutting cords.. removing myself from even the possibility of bumping into him. I have my reasons.. but mostly it is because a choice was made and I knew then there was something I needed to do.. and something this person needed to learn first. I still see it that way. Trust yourself.. but try to sort through the emotion of it long enough to understand it. Best I have.. :)

Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

Thank you for insight. As I understand through more research, twins aren't always the happily ever after story. I'm so happy you found your happily ever after. I do agree that things will reveal themselves in good time.

Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

Thank you for sharing with me. I do think that we could be together and be blissful in it, but it is not the right time. After being so upset the other day, I had to just be brutally honest with myself and admit something to myself. I love him, I have loved him before and I will continue to love him. It was hard for me to fess up to that fact. In being with him in this time, I have done things for myself that I would not have done on my own...I started a book, I began singing and will soon have a band, etc... I never would have had the courage to do that on my own without the creative furor that was a result of my tensions and frustrations with him. Again, thank you for sharing. It is so helpful just to know I am not crazy and that its ok.

Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

I feel that we were not looking for each other. We surprised one another with how we felt. I did not expect to love him or have things go on this long or as far as they have gone. I feel that when the intensity increased, he put distance between us as a defense where I pushed forward and welcomed it. I have left the door open a crack as I do not have the strength to close it and lock it at this time. I am content to allow the universe to do things as they are to intended to be. Thank you for sharing with me.

Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

Perhaps, I am going to give things a little time and space before moving into this topic with him. I think he is a bit overwhelmed.

Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

UPDATE: After posting here and feeling as if I may burst into shards without him, I had to take a good honest look at my feelings and with much prayer and meditation this is the result. Your stories and insights have been most helpful and I welcome any input on the subject. I still feel this intensity and am still learning.

I determined that no matter what I named it (relationship, arrangement, etc...) I love this man. There has been something about him from the first word to him that is beyond explanation. I feel as if I have known him before and I feel as if we have loved before. I am able to share with him and despite all efforts to filter information the man has this ability to have me tell him everything. It is undeniable that I love him.

He has pushed me, intentionally or not, to be better. I pursued avenues that I thought forever lost. I began singing and writing. I am under management and am beginning a career as an artist. I began writing a book also and I write music frequently. I never would have attempted these things without his influence. Also, I have began to further investigate being an empathy and all that it means. I want to help others and I never would have done that without the grey space that loving him has provided.

He has his own law practice and I feel thatgrowing it, nurturing it and cultivating it is his top priority. I respect him greatly for his ambition and I want to see him flourish in happiness. However, I feel that the focus on his business distracts him from the intensity of the two of us. I DO NOT understand how we have touched, kissed and united the way we have and he feel nothing for me. It just seems not possible.If I trust my intuition, I feel he cares for me. He is reluctant to call it love, just as I was. He does not understand why things are so different with me and why I do not submit to his every whim and game as so many others have and do for him.

He fails to understand that what is before him is not a game to play, but a gift. I will not wait. For the time being I have left the door opened a little for him because I do not have the strength at this time to completely shut it and lock it. I leave the details to God. He is the conductor of the symphony that is now in progress and in giving him the baton I am able to better listen andsee the beauty that is being created.

For now, I accept that he is meant to be with me at this time. I accept that I love this man beyond my own understanding.Are we tobe together forever? I have no idea, but even if we are not, I will forever be thankful for the experience that I have been granted.

Please continue to leave your thoughts here. I value each one as a learning experience and insight into my own growth with my empathic abilities.

Dice
@dice
2 years ago
284 posts

Mine knows.. to a point where we intentionally avoided contact, yet would find reasons to try to talk or spend time together. It was confusing but absolutely the most intense thing I have ever experienced.. I felt like there was a reason and I still feel that after a few years. I do think there was a reason for the why~when~where.. I know he acknowledged that something was going on.. he would make comments and many things happened that cannot be dismissed. I do feel grateful for the opportunity despite the confusion and I look to it as a teaching moment for me. It has helped guide me forward and the lessons just keep coming. I have never experienced anything like it and all with no physical contact.. and I have never had something pick me up and turn me around with little to no effort on either of our parts. Even the words I use to describe it do not do it justice..

Dice
@dice
2 years ago
284 posts

Oh yeah.. It doesn't close really.. and good luck on turning it off.. ;) If this is what you are experiencing I just don't see how or why you would want to. It has helped me grow into more than I ever thought I would be. It was an awakening of self in my case. I will never be able to repay such a gift..

Light and Love,

Dice

Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

I agree. I do not want to whatsoever, but occasionally the pain of him not being sympathetic is too much. I feel this is why we do not interact more often. The intensity is just to hot for either of us. I would love to be with him all of the time. I have many others who are interested in me, but none hold the desire or interest that he does right now. I refuse to close myself off from others to "wait" for him because that may not ever come or be the supreme purpose. I am open, but miss him when we are apart for these resting spells. I often wonder if he thinks of me as often as I do of him. *sigh* I am so blessed to have this love and gift. :)

Amanda Davis
@amanda-davis
2 years ago
9 posts

What is so funny is that our first two times together were so awkward and disconnected. Its as if we were both trying to "feel" out the other and in doing so were reading the others nervousness and hesitation. Only on our third "date" did he take my hand, look at me, and tell me, "Tonight, don't think, just feel." Blew me away. no one had ever said anything of the sort to me. After that we connected very deeply.

Didyou ever noticed it felt as if you have a hangover the next day? I don't drink as it impairs my senses and my abilities allow me to feel the drunken happiness around me without drinking (I love it, makes for a cheaper night out) but I feel a strong drain and hangover feeling the next day after being with him. Never noticed that before or with another.

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