Hi, I'm 22 year old student. And I just recently discovered that I'm an empath. I had suspected that much for quite sometime, its just that, its becoming too obvious these days. And, I'm really not able to deal with this. I don't know, what to do with all these emotions. Somedays, I don't even know, where I end and where others begin. I don't even know whether what I'm feeling is my own feeling or someone else's. Randomly, I'd feel like crying, even when I was okay about a minute ago. I think I'm going insane.
Sometimes, I wish I could just stop feeling everything. But then I feel guilty about thinking like that.
I don't know what to do. I know I'm slipping into depression, but I'm unable to stop myself.
People, like my coworkers (I'm doing internship right now), whom I have known for barely a month, would discuss their family problems with me. I'm not the kind of person to say 'no' so I listen to them, and if they are feeling down, I would be like that for the rest of my day too. Its so frustrating.
I feel tired all the time too and can't even watch News or any TV series with violence or psychopathic elements. (Actually that's what has triggered this today. Saw a disturbing movie, and now I can't stop these depressing emotions.)
I have already been diagnosed with anxiety disorder two years ago. My heartbeat is almost always racing, I can't calm down. I also have dreams before something bad is about to happen (like death or accident or illness or even just a dog bite) to family or close friends.
And worse part of all this is, none of my friend or family is aware of this. Why? Because I'm just that good in masking what I truly feel. I'm normally a happy person, always laughing and cracking jokes, but I tend to do that even when I'm not happy, so people around me don't even know I'm sad unless I want them to know! I can't talk about my emotions to anyone, no matter how close they are. I have tried, but my throat closes up, and I can't speak. Plus, I don't like talking about my problem or asking for help either. But anyways, who is going to take me seriously if I go and say, 'Hey, I'm an empath and feel I'm going crazy. I need help'. They would think its a joke or something!
I need help, I know I need help, but I don't know where to go, who to ask. I feel I will explode. I know, I'm not that strong of empath like some other people here. But, stuff is happening and I know my control is slipping, its only a matter of time now. I wish I could talk about this with someone.
Please, could you suggest what I can do to handle these emotions properly. How can I differentiate between mine and others? Empathy is a good thing, but it would be nice, if I don't go into depression because of it and actually enjoy my life.
updated by @sny: 01/23/17 05:43:03AM