Feeling down and lost

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4peace
@4peace
2 years ago
187 posts

Well, I just looked at the side bar and under Elise's pic it says "Lost? Stuck?Confused?"

I haven't been on this site for about 8 months now - I think. I just had a birthday, turned 48. I am going on vacation next week. However, I just feel like crap. I totally tuned out my empathic stuffagain, so I don't know if it's that or what. I do know thatI keep waiting for my hubby to take some action to really help the family, but every day it's the same. He sits, watches stuff on the computer, talks on the phone and goes grocery shopping for a couple of items every single day. I decided on my birthday to get us out of this annoying place that we live, that I would get out of teaching adjunct (which is like minimum wage btw) and take classes to be a medical biller and coder. I also decided to improve my health bought a recumbent bike, etc. I feel betrayed because I'm half crippled with arthritis and I'm struggling to improve our lives and feel like I'm the only adult. And I feel like I've given up on my dreams by doing these classes, it's just something to pay the bills.

I'm not connecting to people right now and even kids annoy me (except my own kids I just want to cling to them). I also just found out that my grandma has congestive heart failure :(

4peace


updated by @4peace: 01/16/17 06:04:57AM
4peace
@4peace
2 years ago
187 posts

Thank you for the prayers. I'm sorry about your daughter suffering for most of her life too. I hope she is able to work around her arthritis and be able to do stuff. I'm thinking the vacay will do me a lot of good if there isn't a lot of people around - which is why we are going during the week and not on the weekends. I usually want the mountains, but this year needed the beach and the water for some reason. I need to be around a lot of water :)

My granny is doing better. However she is 89 so I know she doesn't have a lot of time. She's a little spitfire :)

4peace
@4peace
2 years ago
187 posts

You are correct about me being the only one who will change. Right now I work part-time for very little money. We have to have assistance and I do not like that. Our housing situation is very poor right now also. Our apartment is very low income andmy kids can't even ride their bikes without a bunch ofkids in the neighborhood trying to take their bikes. So the medical coding and billing will help us get out of here and that may make me very happy in the end.

Thank you for the message. It almost made me cry when you said the angels follow me and love me. I love them very much too.

I think I have been shutting down instead of shielding and that could be making me clogged energy wise. If that makes sense.

Take care,

4peace

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