Hi I'm new here and just starting to get my head around this. Can anyone else relate with this sentiment? I have been called too passive, weak, unassertive, and shy my whole life. The few times that I have purposely hurt others I had to harness an enormous amount of anger. I now realise that that anger was not directed at my victim but myself.
I'm 37 and still have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my life. I feel like a scared kid on the edge of a pool unwilling to dive into the game of life. Sure Ive waded in from time to time but always recoiled. I realize now that it is because I hate the game. The game of dog eat dog. I refuse to become a cannibal. To join in the feeding frenzy. I would rather starve than become a "successful person".
When I am in the depths of depression and despair I can feel the collective pain and just want to somehow take it all away. How can a person just be blindly happy in the midst of so much suffering. Like having a grand ole party in Auschwitz.
I realize that I'm no good to anyone if I can't keep my own head above water, yet lately I have been having a hell of a time seeing any hope. I want to fight those who encourage cannibalism, yet have no idea how to do it. It reminds me of that saying: ** Vulgar yes but it gets the point across. The tools of peace seem so weak compared to the weapons of greed. Why does it seem like it so much easier to destroy than to build, to dominate than to love, to frighten than to calm. Are we in hell? If so, I want to go home.
So can anyone relate? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
updated by @shadowpath: 05/19/17 11:24:53PM