Weird/negative encounters

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Kate
@kate
2 years ago
131 posts

I do not even know where to start from... but I know I just hate the environment I am in right now, once again. I don't know why I keep listening to others instead of myself. Why I don't cater for my own well being more. Why I have to meet stupid, weird and twisted people again and again. From the happy go lucky person that i was or could be, I'll soon develop a bad form of social anxiety if this keeps going on, as if I didn' t have to fight off depression too for similar reasons. Right now, to make a resume, my roommate voluntarily told me that she had to see a psychiatrist, had and has nervous breakdowns, had countless abusive relationships (and she keeps getting into them obviously even though she thinks very high of herself that she can see and accept stuff about herself) and has a pathological problem that makes her hands shake most of the time. Her eating habbits are pretty horrible and so were her sleeping ones. I won't even start mentioning about mess in the room and how she was literally the most ill-talked of the whole dorm, and I started to understand why, though I had to move because the other girls were even worse from other points of view, such as total lack of mutual respect or any kind of understanding and me not being able to get enough sleep and being late for college. Now also add the fact that the city/capital in itself is... ok, maybe not horrible, but a very inappropriate place for meditation or creative pursuits. And all you see most of the time are tired people with sad faces and lack of ambition or passion for what they're doing, or simply, shallow, who have forgotten the unspoken language of body, mind... :( and it's like a spreading plague... I really don't feellike I need someone to suddenly have a mental breakdown, pick a broomstick and said that she won't let me sleep all night because I woke her up after she closed the door and locked me on the outside by mistake after I accidentally broke a mirror of hers and even told her I am buying a new one (and up until then she behaved as if we're friends and told me all kinds of stuff). And she's only a friggin college student with a not so good economical situation, not a friggin raped, war refugee. But it seems that both a stressful society + negative influences and war are able to create equally horrible, messed up people and erase any traces of humanity.
I won't even start about how mad I am at people in general acting like sheep with no personal opinion andlll money mongers. It really looks like we're different alien branches trying to co-exist (and basically only one or two branches actively care for that :)) and the other one/s should "do a nick" and get out once and for all for their own well being)

Now joking aside (or who knows? lmao), how do you deal with such things? I'm not doing any major in psychiatry so I won't transform my dormmate special cases into subjects for my studies, but it's like they are pleading you to treat them in the lowest way possible so that they don't suddenly believe they are superior just because the other one is kind and does not treat the like a muck, the same way others do. I think a good deal of today's society is massochistic. Think only of how many with ongoing health problems give up and abandon themselves in the realms of internet, eat unhealthy stuff and so on, walking with an atrophied consciousness while something inside me gets revolted at so many things. And about myself, it won't and i'll take care of it so that it does not change... but... I don't understand what is the point in everything. Why choose restlesness, hypocrisy, agitation instead of peace or love? Now seriously... why is there so much energy wasted in all directions, so many trivial matters being made huge things, and why are there so many people so feeble in heart and mind and easily swayed away from (pure) principles? Also, how can people forget things so easily??? From universal laws to others... it's just uugh, I don't like it at all, I just don't :( "Normal" people would call you a child that hasn't yet "seen" "life" for talking about a better vision or cause, as if giving in and becoming a hopeless sad worker is so much better, yeaah, totally >_> (and after having said these then just proceed to complain about how unlucky are in life once again). My life is neither sad nor unlucky, but my own imagination and principles are being pressed down by weird and unlucky encounters somehow because I chose them more or less after being warned... Internally I am close to going back to not liking people at all in general like I felt when I was little (on the other hand I get along exceptionally well with animals and kids...) and obviously with those people that are more artistic & from which you can sense love or understanding & co ^^ And for some reason, there aren't many... I am trying to fix some of my views upon certain things but...


updated by @kate: 07/18/17 12:40:31PM
Kate
@kate
2 years ago
131 posts
Such simple answers ^^ But I am afraid I can't take other people's shit anymore. I'm deeply disappinted with the lack of everything here: from humanity, education, friendlines to minimal knowledge of personal hygiene and daily life stuff like "you do not fuc**** put a metal bowl in the microwave". I'd rather live in a pack of wolves somewhere in the mountains, then at least I'd have a positive longing for human interaction instead of feeling like I could watch this place crumble and say "they deserved it". I find restless kids, aggresive dogs and agitated horses easier to deal with than this level here. At least they still recognise healthy energy - these people here are broken, and I am sorry to reach this conclusion, but trying to help, being neutral, being friendly, not caring apparently nothing works :( except if I listen to my intuition probably, then I wouldn"t end up in places I hate. And it is very rare thay I use "hate" instead of don't like... one question though: isn't it better to sometimes just leave it for god's sake, to stop listening tend ng to other's opinion when your vision is different regarding your own person, instead of watching yourself getting drained and tired?
Kate
@kate
2 years ago
131 posts
Aww, the edit button does not work on phone.. well, now, I wanted to add that I know I might not be perfect either... but at least I have clear lines as far as verbal/physical violence goes, something clearly not existant where I am; not that I couldn't abolish them a little being among girls and such and having done karate and others ^^ But the simple thought of getting involved or feeding such people furthermore is just... uggh. I am simply not made for such environments and yet, I guess I still have to learn to detach from negative patterns...
Reckless
@reckless
2 years ago
117 posts
Some roommates are terrible. I choose to live alone or with someone who is similar to me. I cannot stand loud, rude, filthy, bad hygiene, messy, hair all over (I'm a guy which makes it worse). When I lived with someone I could deal with on a calm level I was fine then his problems came too. Burning food, not showering for days, not looking for a job, drinking all day and asking for pennies from my penny jar, watching unwanted content on my computer in my room. Like dude!!You can't help that you're picky and live a certain way and no pwrson should change for you. We all live different. You're better off getting used to it or finding a good job to pay for a studio for peace.
Kate
@kate
2 years ago
131 posts

Thank you for the answers... I have heard indeed worse stories of roommates, including from my actual rommate and from friends (freshman here :D)... and she is leaving in a month and so am I, as it has been planned, but, I have to be pickier because I want to do so many things and help people and it is an impossible task doing it from an unhealthy environment :( I know how energy gets caught in my "layers" and... it is very unhealthy for me (and for the other one!) to block a natural flow and thus change occurs or try to occur around me when negative patterns are involved. I have actually managed to help my roommate not have nervous breakdowns in months (she used to have on a regular basis, she takes medicine for that, she recognised I am the nicest roommate she had until now; but she still had one 3 days ago and now brings me crackers :))) It's also a bigger responsability though when you can access other people's hearts... and even though one of the first lessons is accepting your own "shadow" side and keep a balance and work with it in a good direction, I still do not want to go to that extent when I will have to break rules as they have been broken before me and mess up someone). I have had problems because of this energy signature until i learned to control it a bit more and because i simply channel stuff. I have both wonderful and nasty experiences, and many strange ones too, and i pretty much believe that the law of physics have so many more perks to them :)) I am also picky because... if I get off balance it will also bounce on the people that are involved with me. To a certain extent, this happens to everyone, but for me it's... I dunno... Everything deserves a warm quiet "nest" to return to from the agitation of outside. This agitation is important too, one needs obstacles but really, I don't think I should create even more when I have the chance not to. In fact I accepted to go to this dorm (I had two other options: the studio, rent apartment with a girl...) to see how it is, and...it seems I was a tad unlucky in terms of encounters. But I will stil try to blend the spiritual side with my everyday life, undercover more or less, and this won't change ^^ It's been better from all points of view until now except for certain people's... anxiety, or fear towards a more open way of being (and I don't want to impose it though, it's in the process of interaction...)

I still felt like listening to some advice ^^ from people that feel similar things...

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