Cutting cords/tie

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Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
I think it's harder for us as empaths. Cutting ties with a person we've known for years. We got to know people on such a personal, intimate level because we know their emotions. We feel them as our own.I dated the same man from middle school through my sophomore year of college. Seven years. I did love him. I've never been "normal" in my relationships with others. Ever. My relationships have been way too mature my whole love. It happens as an empath I think.Two nights ago I got an invitation toy 5 year high school reunion. Might seem young and trivial to some of you, but its turned into a huge deal to me. I'm so different from who I was in high school, and who I am now. I'm not the shy, quiet, by-the-book girl I was. I want to be able to give my ex a hug and tell him I'm proud of what WE BOTH have done since we last talked.We've come so far. It will never be the same love. It's a different love. I want him to know I think he's made a wonderful life for himself (we broke up because he thought he wasn't good enough for me). We're both in good places now, and I want him to know how happy I am and how much I still want for him to do well.But cutting the cord between lovers and friends is weird. Does anyone else experience this?
updated by @emmy-long: 10/21/17 08:08:24PM
Abhay Raaz
@abhay-raaz
2 years ago
21 posts

Hi Emmy,

What is Love ? Perhaps it the investment we do in others in whatever way possible (emotional , physical , temporal and spatial ). That's why a connection get develops and strengthens as time passes by.

We all love positive emotions . There are various types of positive emotions ( Joy , Gratitude , Serenity , Hope ,Awe ,Pride etc etc. ). BUT Love is the emotion or feeling which encompasses all these +ve emotions.

I.e in love we feel all these +ve emotions at once, hence love creates greatest happiness. And due to this intensity of happiness love is superlative selfish act .

Cutting cord means devoid of this happiness. It will come with lots of -ve feelings that we don't want. In coming time only 1 or 2 +ve emotions we feel at a time rather than feeling them all as happens in love.

Hence cutting cord is weird.

I have also experienced it . But I found truth about relationships, love that seems good in every perspective. Hence I moved on . Feeling will be there ,but as Philosophy say "Knowledge and Knowledge alone will lead you to salvation/Liberation.", try understanding the core of all these .It will give peace of mind .

Thanks,

Abhay

Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
I have loved someone since him. Didn't end well, but I loved them truly. But no matter how much I loved the other person, I still WANTED GOOD for this man. That's all I want for him. In a completely "non narcissistic" way, he wasn't good enough for where I was at my life. But that was only from one perspective. He is good enough. We aren't there anymore, and we never will be, but he is good enough. I just want him to feel sufficient in his future relationships. He deserves a good girl and happiness, but what I want is different than him. He can't make me happy but he can make someone else very happy, and I wish he knew that.
Reckless
@reckless
2 years ago
117 posts
Ive cut off some friends from years and been cut by others.Some guys I just stopped talking to them. Others I guess don't like being around me often, which means they don't like me.Had two women I was close to but each stopped talking months after my ex left me. I guess I wasn't their friend..I knew them growing up. It hurt for a while but what can I do? Between 4-11 years of friendships...all gone.
Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
Thank you! I'm at a point where I want to be his friend (it's been almost 4 years since we broke up!) but he doesn't want to. He goes back and forth between wanting to date me and hating me. I've never lead him on, and told him right from the beginning I wanted nothing more than to be friends. But he's not in that place and the loss of friendship (not a boyfriend) is what hurts me.
Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
They say 100% of relationships end in either a break up or marriage. :) I've never been one to maintain my distance though, I love with my whole heart and I wouldn't have it any other way. Love is wonderful even if it's temporary! That being said, the only thing that hurts is that he won't remain friends. It's been years since the break up, and he's even the one who initiated it! But I will respect his decision, if he doesn't want to be friends then I'm not going to make things awkward and try to force it. I've just gotta figure how to cut this dang cord and let go of hopes of being friends.
Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
Wow that's awful, I'm sorry it happened to you.

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