You're not "oversensitive". You're just sensitive, which means you're normal and healthy.
It sounds like people have alwaysexpected you to be a certain way, and didn't stop to ask you what you wanted out of life. If you try to live up to other people's expectations it's almost guaranteed to make you feel depressed and like afailure.
It's difficult to break away from people who try to control you, especially if it's your family. Try this book "Self-Care for the Self-Aware" by Dave Markowitz. It's helped me a lot.