Dealing with envy

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Reckless
@reckless
2 years ago
117 posts

I am an attractive male that works hard everyday...

I do not have anyone to talk to. No friend. No brother. No dad. Just lonely.

I can't turn to anyone for anything. My mom does not like me. She doesn't talk to me. She'll ask for money then vanish. She does the same to her mom.

My dad pretends to like me. When I crashed my new car he was the first person to laugh. Out of touch for months but called so often to hear me unhappy. When I turned my situation around he stopped calling.

At work if the place is run by a male then Im in sure trouble over nothing. I get called out on everything. They'll ask me all the question like there are no other employees and keep me working alone while everyone works together. They usually have a crush on some female coworker and most times that same woman had a crush on me which didn't help. Even if I avoid the woman Im still a target but greeting her will almost insure he will give me the most work later.

When I meet a person for the first time they usually underestimate me. I try hard not to say much and let them think Im nothing just to avoid them bring jealous. It fails because men are too insecure, even the rich ones. I can make them feel like a million dollars and they will go out of their way to dislike me.


I was working for these people I never met. They were dispatchers and then one day they wanted to meet me since they claimed Im so kind and warm. After meeting I knew I was disliked. The next day they seemed to have an attitude. After that I started to make less money, then less, then less. It was where I was making under minimum wage. Suddenly business was bad. I never mistreated anyone, or did wrong, or piss anyone off, but each time they dispatched me they seemed so unhappy. After a while they started sending me to the farthest places while waiting 2-4 hours vs before with everything being close and a call every 20 minutes.


I just want to be unnoticed and live a normal life.


updated by @reckless: 03/29/17 09:30:02PM
Michelle3
@michelle3
2 years ago
9 posts
So sorry you are going thru such a hard time. My heart hurts for you. There are lots of supportive people here. Ask for help with this. Thinking of you and hope you are feeling better soon.Michelle
Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
"Haters gonna hate" :) I'm sorry you're suffering because of it. Some people can be cruel, and a lot of times it's hard for people to look past the exterior. I know you feel like it follows you wherever you go, but not all people will treat you that way because of how you look. I promise. I don't really have advice for you as far as how to avoid it in the workplace, but I think it would be good if you could find a support system to help cope with it. I'd suggest trying to make some friends through volunteer work. A lot of times people who volunteer are kind in heart. I'm not saying all people who volunteer are good or that you hae to volunteer to be good. Just that it's a good place to look for good people. I hope you can find some peace soon. <3
Crownite
@crownite
2 years ago
107 posts

That doesn't sound the least bit like envy, but that you feel overlooked and underestimated. Abandoned? Possibly even outcasted?

I think you'll be okay though. You joined this site and you're expressing yourself and people are offering you their support so you have a support group somewhere. You're not exactly alone even if you feel that way from time to time.

Hope things shape up for you!

Reckless
@reckless
2 years ago
117 posts
Hi BB I know the feeling too well of hiding your good qualities to avoid people from disliking you, Ive been doing it since I was a kid. At some point it became a habit but everyone just knew I was different no matter how hard I tried.In high school I was in an honors program and I was one of the five smartest in the room. I was isolated often. I thought maybe racism but nope they were friends with anyone but me. Some days I would be challenged.As I grew older I just wanted to fit in and not be noticed. I knew I could be great at any point but it affected who I thought was my friends and others around me.Then when you're down everyone has something to say and even when they see you have a new plan they are not happy at all. Even when you're down they're still unhappy.You know there's this criminal I knew growing up. He was jealous of me back then and even today yet he's made well over 800k in profits in drugs. I just don't get it. You bought your happiness but you're still jealous because of what?My ex will not leave me alone. Her man is richer than me for now. When she left I wasn't making much, 100-300 per week, compared to making that in a day, but I haven't told her. Even after numerous arguments and saying I would be the very last person in the world but if you met us both then you'd think I broke up with her. It is strange. When she finds me I avoid her.I don't do things to make anyone feel bad or negative. I let them swim in their own misery and avoid them. Why should I lower myself or be something Im not? I'll let them do what they do best, it comes back room them anyway. They complain often too.A lot of people wonder why Im happy all day. It is because I put myself first. If Im in the mood for something then I'll get it in some way. I think Im selfish for that but I won't bring someone with me to make me happy, they will disappoint me in some way. I have no time for it and most have learned that by now.When the world becomes cold, you take care of yourself only. They will come running back treating you better than ever. You will already be happy. The problem is after some time has passed they will revert to their old ways and that is when you give them another vacation from you. They will learn or out of my presence.I am past the point of caring what anyone thinks of me. I just wonder why people do this as well. It doesn't make any type of sense. When I do what I do they come with their head down ashamed wanting me to feel bad but I won't. Do not be so gentle even as an empath. People LOVE taking advantage of our emotions because they know our emotions are our greatest weakness.
Michelle3
@michelle3
2 years ago
9 posts
I also received this inite to a new group with hardly any members and now see she is gone. Wow strange. 3 people since I have joined. Thank you BillyBonza. Much love.

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