Re-grounding When You Can't Remove the Issue

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Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post -thank you for adding me to the community! I wanted to approach this group about ways to empower and begin re-strengthening myself after lots of bad energy life-experiences. Right now I am determining which things bring negativity, which things chip away confidence, and which things induce anxiety -and most importantly what can I do about it :)

My question is how to start re-grounding when you can't fix the number one thing causing your issue? I am in a bad living situation and I know many of my issues are rooted in this, but I can't leave until Aug. I elaborate my current situation below -names changed.

Last year I lived with Ann who had been abused, was bipolar, and I reminded her of the abuser. I lived in an environment filled with hostility, passive aggressive actions, lacking communication, and in fear (not used lightly) for three months in which Ann was verbally and spatially abusive toward me. Eventually I got the police involved and moved out secretly.

I am now living with Jill who has similar behaviors. She is unable to communicate with me directly--we talked recently two hours by FB message in separate rooms--and instead "drops hints". The other night she exploded regarding months' worth of anger and has since focused lots of negative (hateful/aggressive) emotions onto me. Recently I have this irrational fear about going home; I have to remind myself that just because when Ann's emotions felt this way and she attacked me doesn't mean Jill's similarly feeling emotions imply the same.

I am moving out but have to live with Jill for another four months. My question is how to let my energy remain pure (i.e. my own, without the fear, negativity, or depression) in the presence of Jill's very erratic negativity, anger, frustration directed at her universe and now me? I have begun reading through some discussions here already (trying EFT now -I liked the Safe video because it helped me feel back in control. I am realizing my fear is due to a loss of control--safety/security--feeling with so many strong negative emotions through me).

Do any of you have similar experiences or any advice on how to start re-grounding when you can't fix the number one thing--immediately--causing your issue?

Thanks everyone! I look forward to talking to you :)


updated by @umar: 02/13/17 02:44:21AM
Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

Hi everyone, I would like to reopen this issue. The situation has escalated and support from people who understand my unique situation as an empath would be very appreciated. Thank you <3

Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
I've developed some pretty good ways of combating this pet the last couple of years due to the bad situation I was in. The first thing to do is learn to defend yourself against this. The four main ways I've learned to do this are: grounding, sheilding, the zip up technique, and filtering. If you haven't read the empath survival program on this website I would recommend you do! :) it explains grounding and sheilding very well. Next I'd recommend going on youtube and watching a video I Dolores cannons zip up technique. Now I'll explain how I filter to you as I haven't found any great links online that explain it. Filtering is simply letting the bad pass through you and only allowig the good experiences you want to impact you. To do this I use meditation. I meditate on the positives I choose to feel and tell myself that those experiences are what my heart is open to. I shared the meditation I do for this in the meditation group here on this site. Once you have decided which technique works best for you, things will get easier. <3 Feel free to messages if you have any questions.
Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

Thank you, Emmy. I have looked into using shielding techniques more -never needed them this much. I took your advice and looked some more into the survival guide, started using EFT, and yoga (which I use to try and shower-off the day or filter). I haven't heard of I Dolores Cannons before, so that will be my next stop along with your meditation post. I am new here and forget there are subgroups! I really appreciate your response! Take care and have a lovely week <3

Emmy Long
@emmy-long
2 years ago
484 posts
You're welcome! And oops I meant "Dolores cannon" no "I". :) I get on this site a lot from my phone so sometime I have type-o's and autocorrect mistakes!
Nea
@nea
2 years ago
201 posts

Something that helped me before I learned to shield more etc. was to carry a small stone with me. Obsidian is good. I personally use amethyst too, aswell as obsidian. (I have both of them under the pillow when I sleep because I used to be so afraid when trying to sleep - it has really helped.) Tourmaline can help too.

I don't know if you are used to stones, but it might be a good crutch before you figure things out - it's very personal though, so you have to feel what is right for you.

I can feel your pain because every time I go home to my parents, I always have to be extra careful grounding and shielding - I usually have my little arsenal of stones with me. But also if you manage to ground yourself and remove any negativity you yourself are feeling about the situation, and fill your heart with compassion for yourself and for her, then it will get immensely easier. Love conquers all, as they say. I know it's no easy to get there though.

May your light fly on holy wings

Nea

Kate
@kate
2 years ago
131 posts
I do have similar experiences (as a college dorm student :)) ) and when communication simply didn't want to happen we simply didn't speak, and thus no fighting whatsoever. It was a bad situation though (nasty people, literal lack of respect, many negative emotions and messed up sleep patterns) so that I left next semester and I was so glad... but guess what next, someone who did drugs and everything, went to psychiatrists, had to put orthodox music to calm her nerves, yet went almost every day to disponivle guys and so on... and I am telling you, I saw that even after these, she understood more than my previous dormmates (4th college year after all) and we could establish some normal rules. Then came the psychological/energetical ones as she told me about her problems and a bit of a hard life. She also had a horrible reputation in the dorm. And yet, I she let me help her. And i didn't care for what others said or whispered. She then helped me as well (she works a lot to make some money so she can leave to another country; she send me all kinds of links and job offers) All I did was advice and listen to her... and yet after about 4 months I realise that it is affecting me a bit, in the sense that having such an agitated person beside you and those negative energies cluttered in the room despite my efforts, well, it's something that at one point gets on your nerves. I know I am moving in 2 months as well though ^^ and i will simply search to block them or free them, not lash out at that girl or even worse, numb my senses. And during holidays and not only I return home, so... all in all, that place (and the capital in itself) are unfortunately not too good for meditation and such for obvious reasons (so many agitated and rushed people, so little nature, green spaces or trees, radiowaves above, empty soil under you... *subways*, so little knowledge of the spiritual side of life :( )And in the end, for *me there is one solution (as of now): try to work it out, understand the lesson, and leave. Otherwise it is like a stone on your heart. There is a difference between running away from obstacles and understanding how to hop or instead of turning away, avoiding them. It is also a gift of those who stay in touch with their nature and embrace truth that they can figure out easier what might bring ease of heart or a hurtfull experience, what hides a positive outcome and where there is just disastruous or unproductive temptation.So if your heart starts saying "no" every damn time the thought goes through your mind and logic can't deal with the inflow of negative energy, then yes, it is time to go away from it (not before analysing the problem though). One of the worst things a being can have is not having a place to call home. Every bug and snake and bird has a hiding place to which they can safely return. One should ensure that this little place they have provides them a piece of rest as the world is messy enough sometimes and we need our solitude.. ! ^^ (ps, too much internet and time spent in front of devices does affect the energy flow so it's only good in moderation and not the best answer to stress -huh, yea, I should start taking my own advice...-)I have tried meditating abitwith some semi-precious stones my family received as a gift from south africa, but I had more luck working out and grounding myself with the stones that I liked and picked up from the seaside, so I can't say too much about this one ;)) ) Albeit many people say stones help them, I am personally unsure wether I shouldn't learn to, in fact, deal with the energy or change it, not redirect it to another source... well, it all comes with time I guess. I'd end up saying that life is beautiful with all the ups and downs, and it is a poor choice to let yourself dragged in a stream of negative things without putting up a fight! So important are peace of mind and caring! but caring with the limit imposed by the need to remain healthy, physically and mentally...
Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

I would like to thank you all for replying. Today was a very bad day regarding this issue. I would like to recenter a little before I read the responses, but I want you all to know how much I appreciate them <3

Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

Hi Nea,

I had never considered using stones. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences; I will certainly have to look into this option. <3

Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

Thank you for sharing your experiences, Kate. This piece in particular was especially helpful to me these last few days: "Otherwise it is like a stone on your heart. There is a difference between running away from obstacles and understanding how to hop or instead of turning away, avoiding them." Nea also mentioned stones; this is something I plan to look into soon.

I also loved, "One of the worst things a being can have is not having a place to call home. Every bug and snake and bird has a hiding place to which they can safely return. One should ensure that this little place they have provides them a piece of rest as the world is messy enough sometimes and we need our solitude." You described how I feel in words perfectly!

Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

Thank you Mona; I just started using the turning down the volume technique. It is such a silly little thing, but it has helped immensely especially in times when I am in public!! :)

Umar
@umar
2 years ago
72 posts

Thank you again everyone for your comments and support. In the last week I took steps to involve others, learned about my resources, and reflected on all of my options regarding the situation. Thankfully, it has not gotten any worse, and hopefully the steps I have taken will help keep the waters calm until I can move. If things do escalate, I know what I can do, and because of this, I feel in control again and much of my anxiety has decreased (kind of)... and with that, my ability to keep my energy, and those of others, has relaxed out of fight or flight mode as well.

I have started listening to music even more, do a mediation-type yoga once to twice a day, and am implementing the survival techniques. Thank you everyone for helping me get through this. Today I received great news about an opportunity to be gone from my current residence for about two weeks to house and pet sit out of town -praying this goes through!

Best of wishes to you all <3

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