Sick a lot and guilt about self-care

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Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

Hey, do any of you seem to have a sensitive system? I wonder if this is an empath trait. I seem to get sick a lot, then I have a ton of guilt about missing work. In the past two weeks, I've missed five days of work due to a virus I have. This is the most I've had to miss work in a two week block that I remember, but the guilt is killing me and I need to stop. There's nothing I can do about it but keep taking care of myself and waiting it out. I'm trying to make this an opportunity to remove some patterns I have about guilt regarding self-care, but sheesh, it is powerful.

I wonder if this is an empath thing, or just a me thing.


updated by @sarah: 09/09/17 12:54:37PM
Sammie
@sammie
2 years ago
106 posts

I believe it is your conscience. You knowing that someone has to bear the load, someone has to do rescheduling and so on. It's a part of being accountable. Dearie, its no different from when someone else is ill and misses work. The structure of most work places is to make provisions for such things, which is why there are leave of absences, sick days and most importantly vacation days. We all need a chance to regroup and decompress. You seem like you have a great work ethic, perhaps this is your body telling you to rest. So do it. Guilt free. I hope you feel better soon ! :)

* your question about Empathy and illness. I can't say for certain because I rarely get sick. Even though I do know an inexperiencedempath whogetsvery ill with some kindof flu like issue, respiratory issue or bothquite often.

Personally I will pick up a nauseous feeling, a temporary ache, or get drained when people are sick around me, but rarely do I get sick myself. As it pertains to empathy Iusually fall ill when major changes happen. Once after moving to another state, and once after forming an empathic bond with someone who was sick all the time. Both were about 4-5 years ago. I suppose if empathy is contributing to your ailments, perhaps you can identify a correlation to events or the nature of the people you are around and adopt some good grounding techniques.

Otherwise I would say its just a part of the human experience, we get sick. Drink lots of water, consider a good multi vitamin. And love freely. Those are the best preventative measures I can think of. :) Take care.

Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

I have a hard time having a regular job, too. I'm a stay at home mom mostly, but my my son is grown and gone and my daughters are both in high school, so I have more time for other jobs. I'm a writer for my main job and I do that in the mornings, then in the afternoon and evening, I'm an after school teacher at a school for financially disadvantaged kids and their families. I love all of my jobs, but if I had to do any of them for eight to ten hours a day like everyone else, I just wouldn't be able to do it--except maybe my writing job, but I only get paid when I sell a book, and we need more steady income than that.

I feel guilt also about that. We are so short on money all the time, but I just can't have a full time job because it would be too much for me at this time in my life. I've done it before, but much less than most people my age, I would imagine. I got sick a lot then, too, and I lost a bunch of weight accidentally and looked like a skeleton--and had about as much health and energy and vitality as a skeleton as well. I also had demanding church callings and jobs at the same time--plus my husband was in law school and worked out of state for the summers, so I was a single mom of three with a full time job and a summer camp to run at church and sunday school to teach and all that. It was terrible. Ever since then, I haven't had full health, and I get sick a lot. I know I did before that, too, but that seems to have changed things a lot.

I know all of you are right about us putting other people first. I know that's part of where the guilt comes in--and the sicknesses. I want to make the money we need to make it, but when I look at it realistically, my husband has two degrees, and one of them is a law degree. Our needs are small. We live in a modest house in a cheap neighborhood. I am good at budgeting, and our expenses are less than a lot of people's, but really, my husband should be making more money and using his degrees. I just think it's my job because I think everything is my job, and that's probably what makes me sick more than anything.

Crownite
@crownite
2 years ago
107 posts
I actually don't get sick much at all except when I want a mental health day. Then I can make myself sick enough to stay home. I don't feel guilty about it either. I think sometimes we need to take care of ourselves, even if those around us claim to "suffer" as a result. Work will always be there.My body has been telling me to stop eating heavily greasy, cheesy foods though. I get nauseous whenever I do now and so I can't eat certain things now without having to bring it up. Its something to work on.
RyuukoGo
@ryuukogo
2 years ago
110 posts

Your iimmune system maybe compromised as well as you are picking up others illness?

Last night the woman in front of me mentioned she had PMS cramps....later night I felt I had two bricks to the sides of my belly button....so I went to favorite spot by the ocean...meditated a little and no more cramps....which wasn't as bad as morning sickness ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfZzkhfz89c

Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

Oh wow! Thanks for this!

Sarah
@sarah
2 years ago
386 posts

Thanks for your comments, everyone!

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