Approaching issues you shouldn't know about

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Emmy Long
@emmy-long
3 years ago
484 posts
So normally I don't stick my nose in business that isn't mine. It a general rule I try to follow closely. But this is big and I feel like I have some right to offer input. Here's the situation: my dad was recently offered a really good job Ina town 2 1/2 hours away from where my family lives now. He decided I take it. I no longer live at home and my brother doesn't either but my sister still has a year and a half of high school left and my parents aren't comfortable making her move to a new school. So the solution they came up with is that my dad will move there now, and my mom and sister will stay in their current home until she graduates. My dad will come home for weekends and then when my sister graduates they are going to sell the house and she can decide whether she wants to move with them or stay here. I get a really bad feeling about all of this. There's something more that they aren't sharing, and while I know they're keeping it, I don't know what IT is. I also have a pretty good guess that the job isn't as "legal" as what he's sharing but I'm not going into details of that. Because I get the feelig this is a mistake, and the feeling he could get into some trouble, I want to discuss it with him. But it sort of feels like it's not my place, and I have no concrete proof to back up my suspicions (I refuse to try to read him without his permission as I think it's morally wrong). How do you approach people in this kind of situation? They don't know about my gift because they'd call me crazy and I'm pretty sure if he knew I was on to him he'd get angry. I just feel like I need to give him some kind of heads up without seeming nosey or insane.
updated by @emmy-long: 01/11/17 06:48:45PM
Christina Rogers
@christina-rogers
3 years ago
30 posts

Emmy,
I completely understand what you're discussing. This is definitely a sensitive situation. If they're not voluntarily revealing the truth of the matter to your family, it may be for a reason.

Maybe they haven't decided "IT" fully yet.

Maybe they're concerned about worrying your sister when she's trying to finish school.Junior year is tough on a LOT of students with the pressures of keeping up your grades for college, while starting to experience a huge desire to just throw it all away. It's also when you start considering changing friends/significant others etc.

So maybe they're protecting her, and letting it sink in over time.

Whatever the reason, if you DO demand this conversation of your father, do it in private. He'll be more open to discussion if he's not concerned about others' hearing what he has to say. And if he asks you to keep what he says to yourself, DO IT.

I know it's tough "knowing" more than you were supposed to, and you really want to just resolve the problem. It's part of who we are. But sometimes, you just have to let others' follow their own paths, regardless of you "knowing better" or "knowing more".

Funny enough, we were just discussing this idea:http://empathcommunity.eliselebeau.com/profiles/blogs/lead-a-horse-to-water

Good luck in whatever you choose my friend. Healing vibes your way :)

Emmy Long
@emmy-long
3 years ago
484 posts
Yes I know they're protecting my sister by letting her finish school where she is. My dad moved schools a lot when he was little and he swore he'd never make his kids go through what he did. And I would definitely do everything in confidence if I did talk to him. But even then he'll still be angry. I just wish there were a way i could tell him and him believe me and not get angry.

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