As some know, I am an Empath, and as of this Thursday, I will be 23. I recently took a psychic friend's advice, I was told not to fear being open to visions and any vibes I may get, and also to really open my heart more and not to be afraid of other things. Ever since, yes, my Psychic Intuition has grown stronger, but it has created a serious problem: Growing Sensitivity.
I mentioned my age, because as I grow older, I find myself to be getting more and more sensitive, and that is bad for me. It's also the fact I took that advice, and I found something rooted deep inside of my heart: The Misery of Being Alone.
What is going on, is that I have lived alone for almost 2 years now, and I didn't used to have a problem with it, but as of recent, I have found a deep emotional pain inside of my heart, that got brought out. I now hate being alone to an extreme extent at times. It is destroying my relationships, and causing me stress, and is affecting me physically from the stress (tension). I have been "acting out" being more dramatic, moody, and hostile towards people. I hate that
However, it is not so simple as to the fact I never get to see my friends anymore because no one seems to have time for me almost, so I rarely see anyone outside of work, but it's also making me feel bad at work too. I had to try so hard not to cry today, and I am more easily offended than usual. This is getting bad, and if I can't stop it now, it will destroy my life.
In my mind, I feel that I should be okay with being alone as I have most of the time, but my heart cries with the desire of love. It's like I can't be alone anymore, and that I need a relationship. In my mind, I don't agree with that, but it's what my heart wants. My heart is lonely, and miserable. I don't want to be like that, but it's out of my control currently. I've lost my strength, I must have opened a gate or something. The problem is, that simply, rejection makes it hard to find someone, and on top of that, I need to be with someone who understands me, so that automatically thins out the number by a lot.
This is very confusing, because in my mind, I feel I could wait a long time for "the one", but my heart says, "i'm sick of dealing with myself and I'm sick of being alone, I need someone to comfort me and love me". I hate that. My questions are, what is causing this outside of my knowledge, and how do I stop it? I really believe it's me, as it is a strong pain, it doesn't feel like anyone else. Thoughts appreciated.
updated by @realfaction: 07/24/17 03:39:24AM