Tossed between heart and mind

Kate T
Kate T
@kate
4 years ago
152 posts

How, just how can one balance the 2 of them when there are so many possibilities around? What can you do and how do you know you don't mess up your entire life when you know you chose something which the majority agrees upon but which doesn't give you that inner satisfaction even though you can't say you don't like it or anything, and throw it away for a deep feeling that you want to do something else similar as domain of activity, which you find so appealing and good, as if you know there's something in there for you, but yet upon which the majority doesn't agree too much and they are right for certain obvious reasons that in my head i honestly can't feel they would apply...?

How do you accept someone in your life when you want peace at any cost and yet you are off-putting some things that should happen at this time, also because you don't want your mind to be taken off of future career, college life & etc...?

In a way, my life has always been about trying to find a balance... and step by step i manage to reach my goal. But I am very conservative with my energy, and this is why i cannot accept anyone into my life, from boyfriends to close friends. Well that doesn't mean i don't get lucky with some people, and also horribly unlucky with some others of my own age. I also don't want to depend on anyone emotionally, but i can be very profound and that's a problem, especially in our society, it seems >_>

There are some things that i tried to negate and yet i never could, no matter how people affected me in the meantime: the love for animals and nature, drawing, crafting, needing my alone time and meditation, thinking about my own stuff and readings things from all kinds of domains, from medical to civilisations (well basically needing to think about something all the time, but being relaxed as well, not stressed or hyper)

But it's hard to balance the spiritual side with the mundane life, and even harder to try and convience people it is not good to separate them and put everything in little boxes. I do have a lot of will, but i can get demotivated fast, depending on what kind of people i come in contact with (too much). Humans are simply weird.

So as someone who feels so many things from the people around and evironment, did you ever had false feelings or something like that? (i can't trust my intuitive side 100% yet, even though it saved me more times than i can imagine, i did punch myself really hard, unwantingly, and suffered, more or less from it, for some reason)


updated by @kate: 09/05/18 01:19:41PM

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