Hello! New here and looking for a little advise.

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LCB468
@lcb468
3 years ago
12 posts

Hello everyone!

I am new to this site, but not new to being an empath. I have been aware of it for about 15 years. I embrace my gift and am usually able to protect myself fairly well from negativity but lately I have been having an issue and I am not sure how to deal with it or why it is happening now. I am hoping some of you may have some suggestions that could help me out.

I know that we are often used as other peoples dumping ground for emotional baggage and I have been pretty good at protecting myself from the negativity that comes from it but in the last few months it has been happening more and more frequently and it is now a problem for me.

People I have known for many years to people I have just met seem to want to unburden themselves to me and it happens on a very regular basis now, where before it was only once in a while. Before it began happening so frequently, I could easily deal with it but I have not been able to do this so easily now. I dont know if I am just worn down from having to keep my defenses up or what but I cant seem to control it anymore and keep people from unloading on me. It is getting worse and it is having a very negative effect on me. It has gotten so bad that my SO (he is not empathic) has even noticed and asked me Why do people always do that to you? Its like you have a big sign on your back that says free therapy.

I am a social person and enjoy meeting new people and helping people and my job also requires me to interact with many people on a daily basis. I actually enjoy being able to meet people for the first time and just know things about them because it fascinates me. However, my recent negative experiences make me want to crawl in a hole and hide. I am now very wary of meeting new people because I am afraid of being dumped on and have been avoiding family and friends for the same reason. I dread going to any social gatherings and even the grocery store because of this. The really bad part is, I can just look at someone, whether I know them or not, and warning bells go off in my head if there is potential that they are going to emotionally dump on me. If this happens, I try to politely excuse myself and leave, but that isnt always possible.

I guess my questions are: does anyone have any tips on how to keep others from doing this aside from being rude and just telling them Im not their shrink? Also, I am wondering if anyone had ideas as to why this would start happening so frequently when it had not been a problem before? Any help or suggestions are greatly appreciated!


updated by @lcb468: 04/10/17 08:49:09AM
LCB468
@lcb468
3 years ago
12 posts

Thanks for the reply. I am working on being more abrupt with people that start doing that. What did you do to get rid of the negative energy until you were able to defend yourself well?

And yes, I agree, who just spills their life story to someone they hardly know? Being somewhat reserved myself I never understood how some people can do that.

LCB468
@lcb468
3 years ago
12 posts

Thanks Denise! I will do some searching and see if i can find a "zip up" video. Sounds like it could be quite helpful.

LCB468
@lcb468
3 years ago
12 posts

Thank you! I will check these out tonight. :)

inlanddan
@inlanddan
3 years ago
387 posts

Hi LCB468, in loo of typing I copied this from a post by my good friend Trevor Lewis that may really help in this area.

Here are my initial links for new members talking about wanting to control the empathy:

  1. Elise'sEmpath Survival Program.
  2. Donna Eden'sZip Up Technique
  3. theTools for the Empathgroup
  4. Thriving As An Empath (my own favorite for reasons that will be obvious when you go there). Incidentally,when Dr Michael Beckwith was on the OWN channel's Help Desk, his answer to the first question was a paraphrase of this paper.

All very excellent methods of protection.

Dan : )

LCB468
@lcb468
3 years ago
12 posts

Thank you Dan!

I am working on the zip-up technique. I think it will help a lot.

I have heard of the "conduit" method before and I will be working on this also as I believe that this may ultimately work the best for me.

~Lisa

LCB468
@lcb468
3 years ago
12 posts

I was finally able to figure out what was going on and why my defenses were so low. I was dealing with a couple of very stressful situations that were draining all of my energy and affecting my ability to protect myself. The negativity and stress from those situations I was dealing with for the last couple of months seemed like it was acting like a beacon for negative people. Since my original post, both situations have been resolved and I have been feeling a lot better. I have also been doing a lot of learning and getting some coaching from another member on here and it has helped quite a bit. I no longer feel like I have to constantly shield myself and I am working on growing my abilities.

I am so glad I came across this site, I have been learning so much from everyone and it is a great feeling to know there are others out there like me. Thank you to all who have offered their advice and support, it is greatly appreciated!

~Lisa

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