Living with a depressed person

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3 years ago
14 posts

My husband has chronic pain and is classified as disabled. He is under a doctor's care and sees a counselor once a week. He is also depressed. He also wallows in his misery and wants to talk about it. I am beginning to dread being around him. Some days when I come home from workI can almost feel the "yuk" before I enter the house. My days off have become something to endure instead of something to look forward to. I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I cannot help him. Most times I surround myself with white light of protection and it helps deflect a good amount of his stuff, but today I must have let my guard down and I found myself almost suicidal by the end of the day(don't call anyone...I'm fine now.)

Does anyone else live in a toxic environment and how do you deal with it? I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this.

updated by @leslie: 07/19/17 04:24:16PM
3 years ago
23 posts

Leslie you have my sympathy just remember you don't own that misery or depression its not yours.

i nursed my mother through six months of terminal cancer and held her hand when she passed, we were never close and its awful so say but i didn't like her. but when it came down to it she was my mum. she was an impossible patient and hard to care for. the whole thing nearly killed me i don't think it is a good idea for a empath to care tor the terminally ill. i think when they die they almost take us with them i mean it when i say it nearly killed me. take some time out your no good to your husband if your not ok. Silver chain are great will come care for your husband for a few days. take a week off go stay with a friend or at least a day here and there, you will both benefit for the break. BIG HUG TO YOU LOVE CARL.

3 years ago
187 posts

Hi Leslie,

My hubby has very bad depression and sometimes I just can't handle his stuff. I protect and try to separate myself from his stuff - but it's hard. The good thing is you realize what is happening (I was stupid for 7 years I thought it was just me.). Perhaps there is a crystal you can wear that would help? I'm still learning about them so I can't really help with that. There are a lot of really good and knowledgeable people on here. But having alone time - really alone time- is important. Take care of yourself hon.

Sending peace and light,


2 years ago
386 posts

My husband, too. He doesn't believe in self growth really and he complains about getting old and his body not working as well, but he won't do anything about it. He just wants and enjoys pity.

He has had low, dark energy for most of our marriage and it cost me much of my happiness and peace. He is better now, but not completely better. I've had to do lots of secret energy healing on him for my own sake because I couldn't stand living with such a low vibration person anymore. He doesn't believe in energy healing and resents that I do it, so I have to do it in secret, then give him the credit when he magically thinks he started to choose to do better.

He still is underemployed and has been our whole marriage and that causes lots of daily problems, but I can't fix everything and it's not my job anyways. It's his job. Sometimes I feel okay about it, but a lot of times it's really hard. I'd love to be married to someone who things being an empath is real and my energy work is real and who takes responsibility for themselves, or just be single. Alas, he stays just healthy enough that I stay with him. I greatly fear three years from now when our last kid moved out. I will die if I have to spend all day with that heavy energy and resentment at me for being who I am. I hope things change between now and then because I don't know how I'm going to take it.

2 years ago
8 posts
I'm currently living with my older sister, who is bipolar and struggles with PTSD. She has her good days and I love being around her then, but at times she can be very emotionally draining. If I don't find ways to release emotional buildup, it gives me migraines and stomach problems. I have candles with scents that are supposed to be good for this, like sage and lavender, so whenever her moods start to drag me down, I light one and make a pot of chamomile tea. Between the calming scent and the tea, most of the time, she calms down. And it gets rid of the knotted feeling in my stomach. If I know I can't talk her through something, I'll put on a funny show or movie she loves to shift her focus on something else.
2 years ago
17 posts

It's difficult to find patience, but if he's actively seeking help to get himself out of this state that is very different than someone who wants nothing but eternal misery especially one wanting to spread it. If I'm in a similar situation, I try to reinterpret the energy. Dark energy is only negative energy when you take it within you and let it consume you. By listening and letting him vent out the energy you are allowing him to keep it from consuming him. The key is focusing on the fact that it isn't yours. You don't own it. Don't let yourself own it. Practice it. If it works, you'll hopefully see him less consumed, and you'll know you had that effect on him. It can be a positive thing. And, with enough practice you'll help him channel that negative energy out on a way of recovery. But, if you find yourself owning his misery, then back off and try something else. Patience and perseverance only bring good things. Just keep awareness of what effect the energy is having on you, and know when to back off. If it becomes too much to handle, think about yourself and what you need for your life. You're no good to yourself or others if you let it consume you.

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