I Feel Misguided

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RealFaction
@realfaction
3 years ago
162 posts

Been a while since I've been around, sorry! I've been caught up in life's work. However, lately I've found myself to be in quite a predicament.

For a while, I've felt jealous of my friend who has been surrounded by friends and they want to hang out with him and like his facebook posts and support his music. For some reason, people see my negative posts over my positive posts (most of the stuff i post) and don't want to be around me anymore even though they don't say it, i've noticed for months i rarely see my friends anymore but they hang out with other people. It very much hurts me and I've felt very sad and lonely. I feel love is an essential part of my life, there are many people I miss.

Sometimes I have breakdowns, these panic episodes where i get dramatic and scare people away because of my bitterness when really im misunderstood. I'm just hurt and lonely. I want what my other friends have, that's all :(. I just am sick of being alone all the time outside of work. I miss my friends. A simple problem with a simple fix and yet it's hard. In this area of my life i feel confused and misguided. Help?

This IS an empath problem, I'm just trying to figure out how? Meaning, theres something you're all aware of that I'm not, but I know it's related somehow. Just going to take that right person to point it out. What should I do? I kind've freaked out online and well basically said this:

"I'm starting to lose faith in myself as a person. I might as well be more of a hermit than I already am. v_v i envy someone. I got issues, blah blah. I know. Just ignore this, carry on. Sometimes, I wish I was normal and had a normal happy life like anyone else. Sometimes I really hate myself, certain things. I'm alone for a reason, not like that's ever going to change."

Sadly, this is the truth. I don't like it, but I have been losing faith in some areas of myself, not everything though. I just feel people will forget me and move on if they havent already. I'm probably being unrealistic and dramatic, I hate that about myself and I hate being sensitive. I know it's becuase I'm an Empath. I apologize for this negativity, I'm just not myself right now. Help?


updated by @realfaction: 01/31/17 11:43:59PM
Emmy Long
@emmy-long
3 years ago
484 posts
I've recently had a change in friends as well. I'm in a college and made a group of friends freshmen year. We were all very close the first two years when we were all living in the dorms together but once we all moved out things kind of fell apart. It kind of broke into two groups one larger group and a smaller one. My parents aren't helping me pay for college unless there's something I need and absolutely can't afford so I have to work and go to school. That doesn't leave me with much free time for friends so when the split happened I didn't really get accepted into either of the groups. I realize it was partly my fault because I didn't have a lot of time for them but I wish my friends would have tried to understand a little more (none of them are paying for their own education so they didn't understand why I have to work all the time). This happened about three years ago and for the first year I felt so alone. Then I started seriously dating a guy and his friends and their girlfriends became my new friend group. It's not the same as having my own friends but it has helped. I hope one day I will again have friends of my own (I do have one best friend I've had since elementary school but she lives an hour away so it's hard to hang out). My mom has helped me a lot through all of this and she said friend groups change a lot through college, and that once I get settled in with a career my coworkers will most likely become my friends group so the college friends don't really matter anyways. I found some comfort in that.All I can tell you is not to panic. There are so many people in this world you have yet to meet. Circumstances beyond our control can cause us to lose our friends sometimes, but that doesn't mean we will always be friendless. I believe people can leave so we can meet new ones that better suit where we are in our lives. You may be at a turning point in your life, and for whatever reason your old friends won't fit into where your new life is going. Embrace the change how ever you can and enjoy and take advantage of this time you have been given with yourself. Things will get better.
RealFaction
@realfaction
3 years ago
162 posts

Thanks guys for the advice. Childhood trauma definitely is a part of it growing up with verbal abuse. But another part is I feel love is an important part of my life and without being in good company after some weeks i get lonely and sad. I'll try to work on it, i really don't want it to destroy me, i just miss a lot of people.

RealFaction
@realfaction
3 years ago
162 posts

Thanks, perhaps you are right.

Paul
@paul
3 years ago
916 posts

I will venture out and say things differently. You are being moved forward faster than you think. People in your influence are being fazed out of your life that will not serve you. Let it happen as new ones will come in and will be in better in sync with your energies. Do not hang on to that as it will hold you back and prolong the obvious. It sounds weird, I know but test this out.

Angel
@angel
3 years ago
607 posts

Empaths often feel on depths that most people don't care to go in their own lives muchless in someone else's. I can't tell you how many times I would have friends or even strangers dump all their problems on me and then feel better, but when I have a problem or need to talk, they don't want to hear it. They will blow it off like it's no big deal or they don't contact me for a time. I don't have alot of friends as it is. I've learned to accept this and I have learned that there are very few people who will ever understand that depth of emotion. It's uncomfortable to them. This isn't just the negative feelings either, sometimes it's also the positive ones. But there is a reason for this ability and there is a reason why you have it. With the gift also comes acceptance, accepting part requires you to accept it all.

You have an outlet here, people who do understand. So maybe the answer isn't being alone, maybe it's understanding your gift and how to deal with others who don't fully understand it. When we make connections, we make them quickly so if we have a best friend, we could have met them 2 weeks ago and feel that we have know them our entire lives. But in their time, it's only been to weeks. So truely letting go of our emotions will scare them because they can be so deep and powerful. For some friends, it may years if ever, because again, they don't even feel that deep themselves. We want them to understand, but often we have to accept that may never understand. It's hard to hide that side and it feels unfair to not be able to fully express ourselves to the rest of the world, but we also have to understand how they perceive us as well. And that is why an outlet is so important. I usually don't post deep things on facebook. To much drama from family and friends going "what??" So my outlet is usually coming here and writing a blog. Just getting it out and not once have I ever had anyone tell me I was nuts or anything. Decide with your friends what kind of friend they will be. Is it a friend to hang out with on the weekend to have a good time? Is it a friend you can talk to about your abilities or other things in that nature? You may have to split friends up in a sense, like, these are your buddy's to go play pool with and on Thursday's, these are the people you hang out with during meditation class or some other type of meet up.

I have been with my husband for 8 years now, and though he has a greater understanding of my abilites, he will still never fully understand. He see's the extremes of both good and bad emotions and we have had to compromise on alot of things. I've had to tone it down or find other outlets just to let it out. but he has also seen the benefits of it. he see's the loving and caring side of it and it has also allowed him to open up more as well. Most of the people who come into your life will be there for a short time and for a reason, a purpose, often healing or something for an Empath and then they will leave. Once in awhile you will find a soulmate. These soulmates are the one's who it will be easier to express your true self to because they already know you, but they are human do, and still won't fully understand. Maybe take some time to learn about different soul connections, this may help clarify who these people are in your life and what their purpose is. This may also help you understand what it is your truely looking for. I hope this helps.

RealFaction
@realfaction
3 years ago
162 posts

Thanks. I see what you mean. It sucks, but I understand.

RealFaction
@realfaction
3 years ago
162 posts

I see. Thanks. I'll try to stay calm.

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