Advise--Church is hard.

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Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Because I'm an empath, I'm like a sponge and soak up all the emotions of people around me. The worst place for me to deal with all that on a regular basis is church. I walk in and I can feel all the emotions not only from the people there, but from the building itself. It has soaked up times of intense joys and sorrows and the deep fundamental feelings of the the people who go and have gone there for generations.

When I go there, I just get all ruffled up and want to leave. Sometimes I have panic attacks, and after I get home, I need to rest for the rest of the day.

Last week I realized the main feeling I feel there is grief. I thought it was my own grief, but I realized for the first time, that I am picking up on other people's griefs, and even the grief that happened in that chapel because there have been hundreds of funerals there over the years. Even yesterday when I was taking a walk, and walked by the church, I had that heavy feeling come to me, like it's a big heavy weight in my life.

I love the gospel and I love my faith and I need it in my life, but I wish I could go to church without feeling everyone's intense feelings. I love the people of my congregation and I want to just enjoy being with them and going to church. Any one have any advise how I might protect myself from this or what might be going on?


updated by @sarah: 07/01/17 10:49:46PM
Nocturne's Angel
@nocturnes-angel
3 years ago
867 posts

Hi Sarah,

The best advice that I can offer you would be to ground yourself, shield before you go to Church, carry a stone : hematite, red jasper & black obsidian are good for this situation & also cleanse yourself when you return home to rid yourself of any emotions, energy, etc. that you may have picked up while you were there.

Information can be found below:

http://www.eliselebeau.com/empaths/empath-survival-program

Donna Eden Zip Up Technique is a great shielding tool (You can find it on youtube.com)

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Thank you, Nocturne Angel. I had never heard of the zip up technique. I think that, combined with the other stuff will help. I never thought about having crystals just for church and places like that where I have an extra hard time protecting myself.

Poor, KimKim! That must have been so hard! I'm sad that people gave you a hard time about it, when they didn't understand how much you were feeling. I also have a hard time at hospitals, too, and even airports because there are lots of intense feelings there, too, even though it's different than funerals and all that. Good luck to you, too.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Thank you, Chuck! It feels great to have people that understand! I think I might try some emotion release techniques I use on people, but try them on the building. I can't go in and smudge it, but I might be able to do some energy releasing techniques that might help it be less intense for everyone. I've been practicing some new grounding techniques all day, and paying attention to my base energy feelings so I can hopefully use it at church tomorrow.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Good luck to us both, Crystal. I hope this helps it go smoother today.

I just woke up and realized I have an all over vulnerable feeling on Sundays in general. I tried to do the grounding exercise that worked great yesterday and I couldn't even get it to work today so far. Interesting. I think this Sunday thing goes deeper than I thought. You know how each day of the week has a feel? Well, I think Sunday feels like too much and fear and panic to me--probably from years of church being too much. Hm. I'm going to have to find a new level of grounding and a new way to think of this day of the week--like rebooting Sundays. I bet if the distance energy clearing work I did for the church makes a difference, and the new tools I learned yesterday make a difference, then I can start rebooting how I feel about Sundays. We'll see how it goes. Off to make my Sunday School lesson, then get ready to go.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Jen B, Wow! I can really relate to this! I did some distance energy releasing for our church building itself yesterday and I found some sicknesses and specific issues it had absorbed from the people in it. I found a lot of issues with teaching things that aren't true just because they are traditions. I found a lot of stuckness as a result of traditions winning over gospel, and the sadness that kind of thinking creates. I found much sadness and grief. That's interesting the things you were sensing from your experience--and scary.

I also noticed when I wake up on Sunday mornings, I'm angry with my husband. I feel like our marriage is in trouble, and I don't think that's true. I realized it's almost a habit to feel that way on some level about him on Sundays for me. He didn't even do anything. I need to get to the bottom of what is going on with me on Sundays. Everything feels unsafe--my church, my husband, everything, but my logic knows it's fine and it's the same as any other day. My spirit disagrees.

Today I'm also going to try what you said, and ask God and the angels what are my feelings and what belong to the building and the congregation. I'm going to carry that over to right now while I'm still home and see what's up with my feelings on this particular day of the week.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

I totally understand.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Church was easier today. I did grounding exercises and it was easier since I cleared some of the stuck energy. This will take time, but I appreciate all the advise and understanding. I can do this.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Jen B, thanks for this. I definitely shielded too much yesterday, too. I didn't get anything out of church, but at least I went away uninjured, and that's the best I was able to do yesterday. It felt odd to be shielded at church because on the one hand, I felt still inside and strong, which I never feel at church, but I also felt nothing from the lessons and talks--and even, I have to admit from the friendships of the people there. Really, though, I'm not worried. I'm new at shielding at all, and I'm sure with time and daily practice, I'll learn to strike a balance where I can radiate myself, giving out and receiving, and also stay as protected as necessary.

I think you are right about where the anger is coming from on Sundays. You are also right that I want it to be a good experience and right now there's just a lot of garbage. My goal is to make it through church. It's been years since I've really been able to get something satisfying out of it on a regular basis. There is the odd week here and there where I am able to receive, but mostly, I give and sit there all vunlerable and leave feeling like I've been hit in the head with a sledgehammer.

Mostly, I feel better if I go to a different congregation or a different denomination all together. It's frustrating because I really love my own congregation and my own faith--although I also have a great love for all denominations. This is the one I choose. I think there are some unhealthy attachments in my congregation or something. I can't really figure it out. The people in my congregation are so kind and loving and accepting, and genuinely good people. I feel sort of grabbed sometimes when I go there, like I am too needed or something, like they show love by piling on overwhelming duties and responsibilities, thinking it will help me feel loved and part of the group. It stresses me out. When I go to other congregations or churches, I'm free to just sit and enjoy and learn.

I also think something bad is trying to make me not go. I had a weird experience sitting in the chapel yesterday, I all of a sudden got a sharp pain in my back. I felt like it was a subtle spiritual attack by something that doesn't want me to be there. I told it to leave me alone and that I was much stronger than it, and this is where I choose to be, end of story. I couldn't release it there in the chapel because it would look weird, so I waited until I left the building, and released it. It left immediately and I felt fine and some of the not good feelings I had left. I wonder if that has happened before, or even on a regular basis maybe and I never knew it before, or if I'm going to get stronger learning these techniques and the dark side knows it and want to stop it. Who knows. I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just going to choose to keep learning and keep trying new things to make church a better and richer experience for me.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

:)

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Thanks. My faith has been the anchor of my life. At the same time, I think I am more of a spiritual person than an organized religion person. The path I've chosen requires both. It's always been a struggle for me, but I'll get there. I appreciate all the advise and support and empathy I've gotten on this. You all are great!

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

I wonder about that, too--if this path is still the right one for me. I think it is, but I'm not 100% sure. Maybe I can take some time to really pray and ask if this is still the right path for me.

inlanddan
@inlanddan
3 years ago
387 posts

Hi Sarah, there is another protection that really helps me especially in these types of circumstances call"The Zip Up Technique."It is very easy and really helps in groups settings.

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

inlanddan, someone suggested that earlier on this thread and I tried it at church and it really helped. :)

Sarah
@sarah
3 years ago
386 posts

Also, to add something to the Zip Up method, I've found that I can also zip down for a few minutes and release anything that did make it in, then zip right back up.

inlanddan
@inlanddan
3 years ago
387 posts

It really does, remember too that protection protects but I have never been "Totally Protected." We are empaths and all of your receptors are always on. Some stuff will get through.

inlanddan
@inlanddan
3 years ago
387 posts

Yes always!

inlanddan
@inlanddan
3 years ago
387 posts

Yes you have more control using that. It is my favorite. Heck I can even go grocery shopping now. LOL

Kate
@kate
3 years ago
131 posts

My mother reacts the same way in Churches and the way she describes it to me fits perfectly: she feels overwhelmed by other people's negative things. She also told me that she could stand being in a church for more than a few minutes if we were in a monastery or something where people would go there with pure thoughts, not to transform it into a daily gossip place that has nothing to do with the religious aspect more than it has to do with them wanting to be seen in a certain way in other people's eyes, ie, as religious/good people & co.

In my case, the same happened when i was little. It was weird, but i've got to say that it never became so unbearable in a church. The feelings of other people were more overwhelming in classrooms at school, or in buses, or anywhere where more agitated were put together in a small place. For me, churches have always been places when the noise form outside diminishes. Where turning to yourself was something normal and when you could think about your stuff, and cry if you feel like it and be honest and think about truth because this is what you are supposed to do and nobody will butt in. And everytime I feel so good and cleaned, i simply become more peaceful, but at the same time I'm not detached from people or anything, quite on the contrary, I am aware of them. The bad stuff doesn't really stick or simply gets filtered. Your own desire to reach a balance and seek spiritual growth is bigger than the feelings of the people around. But it doesn't have to be something extraordinary. Something you really wish for, someone dear you pray for... should be enough to guard you.

Some people found that they "received" other people's stuff because in their mind they did not truly desire to separate from others, they were still "open" about them, yet ungrounded. It happens on a subconscious level, but this somehow indicates that you've had healthy relationships with people, or you simply need more interaction (or more exercise... daily walks, and walks in nature help alleviate theproblem). Another situation... The mind should be "separated" into certain drawers, and some situations require that you only open the drawers containing certain information/desires/ideas/conceptions/visions to apply in a situation. When you go to a Church and you feel like "ah, i'd have some fun, i'd go to a party, i'd do that, i'd do xyz..."(which is normal from time to time :)) ) or if you still seek an answer in people/certain people, or if you have always been compelled to go to church because your parents said so, which i don't really agree with truth be told, you should be prepared to feel more "impure" and earthy emotions. Or you could try to find a better place for yourself. Maybe you need to go to another church. Why don't you take a walk and see what suits you better?

I have quite a few in my town, and there is one, not too big, but pretty and the location gives me a very good vibe, and they have this huge old painting that was gifted from Jerusalem. I'm not sure if the feeling comes from it, but all in all, everytime i walk past it to school, if i happen to be in a more "stressed" state I just snap out of it and remember that i should not embrace such a scattered way of being... Quite interestingly, there's also this bigger and beautiful monastery on my grandparents' town, in a forest who's first quarter is in the city. I don't manage to get the same feeling... and i don't manage to balance myself out. It only worked once, when i was with a friend of mine because she had some problems with her mother. Well, I guess you cannot force it: if it doesn't come, it means the answer is, at that time and moment, in another place, or you have somethign else to do, or for the moment your state is... ok enough. For the most part I'd say i alwys feel a difference when going in and out of a Church, and it is the single place where I always perceived the difference as being directed towards a positive line.

These are some things that i think i caught over time. I guess some perceptions will change as i grow up, but for the moment... i felt like sharing them. Not that sure how these thinking processes go in an American society though, here when i am the majority is orthodox and our churches are more "private"/smaller than the catholic ones.I am also the kind of person that will go to other people to find an answer when I become too tired or something really, really not good is happening. I know i could always isolate/close myself from external influences (i guess this was a protective mechanism) and in turn i had a lot of hobbies, and i was always drawing and crafting things, and be very good with animals. With kids i became good in the latter years only), so what i had to learn was to become more open and perceptive... ^^" and, yeah, probably this is why i presented it in this light. Sorry for my english, it still isn't that good...

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