For the last few weeks, I've been having intense, deep dreams that are processing a lot of what's going on in my mind and spirit as I go through a faith transition and a spiritual awakening. I've been getting a lot of messages that are helping me see how my subconscious sees this intense process. A lot of it has been pretty hard. For the past week and a half, though, I keep getting the message from bunches of different sources to lighten up and have fun and have joy and be playful and feel good. It's hard to do in the middle of all that stuff, even though it is in my nature to be playful and happy.
Last night I had a dream that I was driving a friend home from a party. This is a real life friend I only know from online because we have the same job and belong to an online group for people with that job. He is a nice man and I hope to meet him in person one day like the rest of the people in that online group, but that's the extent of our relationship.
Well, in my dream we stopped the car to talk. I started telling him of how hard this time is with throwing away so much of the old ways of thinking that no longer serve me and trying to find a new way and how complicated it all is. I started telling him about one of the most complicated and personal parts of this journey. Suddenly, he leaned over and just kissed me mid sentence. Then he looked at me and smiled, and I said, "Oh my gosh!!" in shock and startled joy. Then we proceeded to kiss for a few minutes. It was sweet and loving and I felt so wanted and so happy and just so good. Then I woke up.
That scene has been playing out in my head over and over all day. It felt like it was more than just a dream. It was very real and very sweet and didn't seem to have deep symbolism like my dreams have had lately. It just seemed pleasurable. I asked if the man in the dream wasn't really my friend, but was a passed loved one from another life or a spirit guide or an angel or something who came to visit me. It told me it was someone from one of my past lives who loved me then and loves me still. The dream was like a gift to not only tell me to have fun and joy and be loved and all that, but to actually sense how it all feels. I realized it has been a long time since I just felt completely loved and wanted and had that happiness of connection, even from my husband. That's probably not totally his fault. I'm sure I'm shutting it out.
My messages lately have been right, I need this in my life--well, not driving men home and kissing them since I'm married , but to feel love and joy and happiness and connection. I'm glad to feel what that feels like again. I'm still not sure how to incorporate it into my life, but at least I know what it feels like and for that I'm so grateful. This dream work is such a gift, the difficult stuff and the sweet stuff.
updated by @sarah: 06/04/17 07:56:06PM