Nocturne's Angel
Nocturne's Angel
@nocturnes-angel
6 months ago
928 posts

As an Empath you may have been using someone else's poetic energy when you wrote & that person/people may have been able to reconnect with his or her poetic energy. fondness, love, etc. 

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
6 months ago
1,352 posts

I can only speak for myself, but in college I wrote loads of poetry, mostly very esoteric stuff. That way, nobody but me could tell if it was good, since they probably couldn't understand it, lol. I also drew, sculpted and painted a lot, and minored in Fine Arts. 

I no longer do any of those things. I was urged to write a book a few yrs. ago, got 26 pages in and stopped. A friend sent me paint and canvasses this year, and I was just PO'd at her for wasting money. I used them, but really didn't enjoy it much. It took me a very long time to figure out where the artistic muse went, but I think I may know now....

For me, it seems that I have a limited amount of energy to expend and the demands of adult life have put me in a position where all the available energy I have goes to things that must be done, and that I mostly do not like doing, many that I despise so much they make me cry, but there is nobody else to do them. That is a major energy drain, since it seems like doing things we dislike takes way more energy. This creates an overall cynical mood, if you get my drift. 

Do you have a lot of "shoulds" and "musts" in your life? Maybe a job you do for money but that kills your spirit? I remember someone once telling me to be careful what I did for a living while trying to get a job in my field, because I would become what I did, if I did it long enough. All of those things and more can siphon off the energy you could otherwise use to be creative, as well as squashing the creative fire, or at least seems to have done that to me. Anyone else feel that way?

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
6 months ago
1,352 posts

@spiritualskies,

Yes, that's exactly what I mean.....that robotic feeling can spread a pall over your whole life and separate you from being able to tap into your creative urge, if not careful. I am glad you've never been stuck in a situation where you have no choice about it. I pray that never happens. 

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
6 months ago
1,352 posts

Thank you for saying that. I have a problem with that very thing, partly because my "unfortunate circumstances" have lasted for way too long and no good choices present themselves. I used to believe that bad would always ultimately result in good, but am now in a state of smoldering anger and "enough already!!!". Maybe the lesson is patience, but I'm getting awfully old...

I see life as like climbing a tree. As you go up, you keep choosing one branch over another and once you reach where I am, you are waving back and forth on a very high limb with no more branches left to choose from, and no way to get down, unless a drone comes along and drops a parachute your way, lol. Or to put it another way, I've made my bed and now have to lie in it. 

So, I am realistically looking to learn acceptance at this point. Another hard one, at least for me, since not being able to climb anymore takes away all hope of it changing. Acceptance and the non-attachment that precedes it are valuable lessons though.

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
6 months ago
933 posts

@spiritualskies:

I find it hard over time to be creative as an empath. As my empath abilities have grown, my creative abilities have waned. I find that when I am very grounded and relaxed, my creativity and motivation to do things creative jumps back to me. But at other times when I am dealing with the stresses of work, home life, and typical empath stresses, my creative side takes a break. Next time you go on vacation and relax, see if you notice your creative writing ambitions coming back.

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
6 months ago
1,352 posts

@spiritualskies,

The sad thing, is I made those choices that put me out on that high branch with no net based on knowledge of "truths" I now know to be false, and  also  based on who I was then, but my personality has inexplicably changed a lot, so that I am suffering from choices that did not bother me before, but can no longer see a way to change them. It really is true that when you've got your health, you've got everything and vice versa. I hope that made sense. 

The main way in which I royally screwed up was to use logical thinking to make choices, instead of choosing what  my heart and soul really wanted and taking a chance that it might somehow work out. I did not know I was an empath back when I made the one huge mistake that ruined my life, resulted in my getting very sick, and by the time I realized I would not get better, too sick to reverse the decision. 

I know young people roll their eyes when old farts like me give advice, but what else are we good for at my age, lol? So, here it comes, unwanted or not! I hope you'll take advantage of being empathic to always go with your gut/heart, especially if you have a family, so that you have a soft place to fall if you do fail. I did not have family and was  afraid of ending up on the street if my choices failed. Still, I should have gone for it anyway, and I can clearly see that now, when it's too late. Please don't make my mistake; I could never have imagined how miserable I'd end up being when I followed the "experts" advice instead of listening to my own emotional needs.

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
6 months ago
1,352 posts

@spiritualskies,

Well, I have to disagree somewhat, with all due respect. I had beliefs like that up until I was at least 50 yrs. old, so I do understand where you are coming from, and I think whatever helps you make it through this stint on the looney bin called earth is great. As a former therapist, I would suggest a visit to an inpatient psych ward, if you want to see people who have been given so much to deal with that they are not stronger, but broken. Catatonics are especially  sad to me, curled up in corners, rocking back and forth, hugging themselves, simply unable to deal with the world any longer. I can empathize with that. 

I am having a complete nervous breakdown right now, due to undergoing drug withdrawal from a prescribed drug which is killing those who try to go off it, and is said to be the most difficult of all drugs to get off of, combined with a slowly, terminal illness that is shutting down every system in my body and causing me to be homebound and isolated at a time when I have inexplicably become much more extraverted, an unwanted, painful  development. The disease I have is known for changing personality as it slowly eats the brain, but I sure did not need this type of change! I just hope my openness helps someone else. 

I used to be the strongest person I know, and my childhood friends, who haven't seen me in ages but are the only ones who've stuck with me, even after I listened to doctors who told me to move to the awful place far away from home that I now live in, still think I am super strong, so I do not get the support I need. They keep saying things like "If anybody can do this, it is you" and "you've always been far stronger than I am". That is no longer true, but they still remember me as I was. I am broken and depressed = I need deep rest, but adult responsibilities won't let me off the damn treadmill. Our society makes us ashamed to admit how much we are hurting, so we all hurt in silence, alone, and that is just plain wrong, IMO. It is our society that is so very sick that anyone compassionate may find it intolerable, sooner or later. My own husband says he feels like he is watching me drown but he doesn't know how to swim. 

Needless to say, I hope you never end up like this, but it does illustrate that age is not just a number. It can seriously change the point of view for many of us, plus every generation has a collective experience that influences their point of view. I said it would never do that to me, but am now eating my words. I've tried a few friendships with people young enough to be my daughter, but just cannot bridge the huge gaps in things that are perceived so differently. At least I am open to learning new things, unlike most of my old pals. A strong confirmation bias sets in once the brain is done growing, between age 25-35, and it is a rare person who changes significantly after that. One reason so many people are anxious/depressed now, IMO, is that way too much change is being thrown at us for the human brain to handle with it's current hardware. That is a whole other subject  to discuss!

To get back to the point of your thread, I agree with @hop-daddy that stress can temporarily kill the creative urge, since I've certainly experienced that. I also have more than 6 hrs. per day of medical chores just to keep going another day, and get too worn out to do anything that is not absolutely necessary. A power failure last fall during a hurricane stopped the intrusion of the outside world for 6 whole days, and was a wonderful respite, so  I agree with hop-daddy about vacations and would add that whatever you plan to do when retired....do it NOW, because only 17% are healthy like they thought they'd be at retirement!

Namaste,

C. Cat

Hop Daddy
Hop Daddy
@hop-daddy
6 months ago
933 posts

@cheshire-cat:

I'm curious, how did the power failure stopped the intrusion of the outside world for you? Was it because technology was shut off (TVs, iPhones etc...)? Or was it something else?

Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
6 months ago
1,352 posts

@hop-daddy,

Yes, exactly. No phone ringing from 7 am to 11 pm, so that we have to turn them off at 9 pm to get any sleep, no email pinging all day, no piles of snail mail full of bad news to handle each day, no loud TV, no neighborhood noise. It was SO quiet once the storm hit and passed, which didn't take long, but left a real mess! (A friend also suggested I may have ELF sensitivity like she does, but I had  the same relaxed feelings when staying at a friend's home for 3 days while having our home tented for termites, and the power was on then.)

I used to live in a national forest, a perfect place for an empath, but as I said, I did not know I was one. I had been told all my life I was "high strung". 

I was told I had to move to an urban area, at least 50 miles south of a line drawn across Florida, where the temperate zone ends and the semi-tropics begin. Either that, or the mainland of Alaska (not the southeastern part, which would have made my now life-threatening allergies even worse). 

As you know, many empaths, and I now realize that includes me, just cannot stand urban environments, and it is far worse in a climate like this where people are always outdoors making noise and lawns need mowing weekly all year round. In addition, I am in a place with limited land mass,  almost totally surrounded by water, so loads of people are crammed close together here. Before I realized that I could never get used  to this, I married someone whose livelihood depended upon being in an urban area where he could get customers for his business. He has finally had to retire, but we are both in too much pain to function out in the boonies anymore, far away from docs and hospitals. I have not even been able to drive for many years now.

Have you ever been in a situation where all that endless outside stimulus was removed for a period, to see if it relaxed you, or if it was at home like our storm, did you find that it lessened some of the strange experiences that have been going on in your house?

C. Cat

Want to reply? Login here

From Our Sponsors

  • empath book