The Day I Learned About Hell

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Kimberly Mayer
@kimberly-mayer
4 years ago
20 posts

When I was a little girl, people at church told me what hell is. That it was a world of fire and flames. Those monsters would come to torture you relentlessly because it gave them pleasure to watch you suffer. As I got older, I realized that church was wrong because the real monsters live inside the people that preach, the kids that laugh, the adults that believe theyre always right. Hell is where physical and mental pain becomes one. It gets placed upon you while nobody cares. You cry night after night, hanging on every word that your parents yell at you and your classmates sneer at you. You think life is fine, until one day you find a stranger touching you. Its so shocking that you block it from your mind. But now you feel empty, depressed, angry and you dont even know why. So you just add one thing after another of the pain that youd rather not think about. Although it still lingers in your soul. So you try to drown it out by drinking constantly for years on end. However this only causes you more sorrow and problems because you wake up again to feel unwelcomed hands roaming your body again. Which is when you remember everything; all the blocked memories you tried not to think about, all comes rushing back. You begin to walk around scared and nervous of the people around you, that it drives you crazy. You just want everything to disappear. So, even though you know you shouldnt take the handful of pills in your hand, you do it anyway. Why? Well its because escaping from the pain is better than living here. I made my escape, and I realized what hell really is. Do you know what hell is? Its a short painful life that you can run away from, but then youre reborn into a life thats even worse. Its an infinite existence where there is no escape. You're trapped forever in a world of suffering. That was my fate.


updated by @kimberly-mayer: 03/04/17 08:38:32AM
Bing
@bing
4 years ago
548 posts

Hi Kimberly

My heart and spirit reach out to you with love. I, too, suffered years of physical and psychological abuse and it takes courage and time to overcome the hurt put in your spirit by those ( family and "friends") whom you trusted. Substanceabuse is acommon thread in thesestories.It is hard to forgive and move on. You are now here at the EC and will find comfort among many who have been where you are. If you have not received counselling I suggest that you do so. It will really help. You are not to blame for the abuse that you suffered. You are a victim. I cut all ties with family members and users from my past. You do not need to associate with people just because you share DNA. By writing this letter you have proven that you are a survivor and are healing. Thank you for sharing it with us. It will help others.

I am including some short videos that will help you feel better.

Has Anyone Told You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5PLdIns4aw&feature=related

May You Be Blessed

http://www.mayyoubeblessedmovie.com

You Are The Light

http://www.youarethelightmovie.com/

The Power of Love

http://www.flickspire.com/m/IAAW/PowerOfLove?id=%7EContact.Id%7E

The Gift of Forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erqJF_ppqbk

This is a link to my YouTube channel where you can find hours of music by Liquid Mind. I always play itin my home and it is a great way to live in a constant peace filled atmosphere. This music is used in many clinical settings to calm the spirits of injured souls.

https://www.youtube.com/user/1111Angels

If I can be of help to you, or you just want to chat, please feel free to drop me a line. I am always here and will always answer. May healing angels surround you, heal your spirit, and infuse you with love.

Throw some love into the wind.

Bing

Bill Walker
@bill-walker
4 years ago
729 posts

Kimberly I admit to being a little confused here. I was wondering if, since you posted this in writers club,is thisat least in part, fiction ordoes it represent your real feelings at present? I have noticed that your posts have a dark edge to them and I too suffer from depression which is whatyour writing sounds like. The shackles of depression are difficult to break but it can be done. The hardest part of all is facing all of those demons inside of you and forgiving them first and then just letting them go. If you would like you can accept my friend request and I will give you advice when I can, but it's totally up to you! Peace Kim, Love surrounds you, please don't block it out.

Kimberly Mayer
@kimberly-mayer
4 years ago
20 posts

hi thank you for you're concerns. i know that my writings have a bit of a dark edge to it, but that's kind of how my life's been for me. for the most part i'm fine, i just use writing to release my sadness and anger. thank you for worrying

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