When I was a little girl, people at church told me what hell is. That it was a world of fire and flames. Those monsters would come to torture you relentlessly because it gave them pleasure to watch you suffer. As I got older, I realized that church was wrong because the real monsters live inside the people that preach, the kids that laugh, the adults that believe theyre always right. Hell is where physical and mental pain becomes one. It gets placed upon you while nobody cares. You cry night after night, hanging on every word that your parents yell at you and your classmates sneer at you. You think life is fine, until one day you find a stranger touching you. Its so shocking that you block it from your mind. But now you feel empty, depressed, angry and you dont even know why. So you just add one thing after another of the pain that youd rather not think about. Although it still lingers in your soul. So you try to drown it out by drinking constantly for years on end. However this only causes you more sorrow and problems because you wake up again to feel unwelcomed hands roaming your body again. Which is when you remember everything; all the blocked memories you tried not to think about, all comes rushing back. You begin to walk around scared and nervous of the people around you, that it drives you crazy. You just want everything to disappear. So, even though you know you shouldnt take the handful of pills in your hand, you do it anyway. Why? Well its because escaping from the pain is better than living here. I made my escape, and I realized what hell really is. Do you know what hell is? Its a short painful life that you can run away from, but then youre reborn into a life thats even worse. Its an infinite existence where there is no escape. You're trapped forever in a world of suffering. That was my fate.
updated by @kimberly-mayer: 03/04/17 08:38:32AM