my material heart crushed in this material world

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Yin Guest
@yin-guest
5 years ago
85 posts

I'm not a master poet but oh well it never hurt to give it a go.

I loved you and I mean loved you, but I knew it would never happen not in this life anyway

I love differently, with passion, feeling and with empathy, with all of my heart and more

I love soulfully the kind of love people crave and only dream of and die for everyday

but you would never see me in that way the labels stop you, and knowing that makes my heart sore

If I could make myself boxed, normal, completely straight I would, I'd change my gender for you

I would give up just about anything, for you just to even acknowledge my feelings

but I can't love in that way, the boxed way with conditions, strings and labels, I have no clue!

I don't like this sexuality label of bi because its not the mask I'm attracted to, its the soul within

on the inside, my ability makes me see people in a different way not whats on the outside

but the personality and soul within. Different. That's what I felt, like an innocent victim

of this material world,I gave you my heart and soul on a silver platter but you smashed it as I cried

We were so close, closer than best friends closer than family you were my soul mate

touring with my emotions because you liked the attention, the pain I felt was so strong

the visions of us together in the future, was my gift trying to comfort me from the shock... state?

I kneeled down over my broken heart which was smashed into more than just two peices

as I picked it up, it turn to dust and blew away in the wind and as it did so did I

all the strong deep love turned to pain and theprecognitions for me to die where acting out, why?

the white van, the pain, the repetition of the past lives and the rejection, this constant cycle

but wait, no! there it was some thing stronger that I sensed, I stopped and the van drove past

a sudden shatter of a karma cycle that I had broken, the shiver down my spine, shot by a rifle

I followed the scent and came to the almightypowerfulEmpath, I broke down in her arms at last

I told her how my heart was smashed and she told me she had some special glue for that

she told me that this had happened many times before, my soul being rejected by another one

and then resulting in death, she said people like me are very rare and that I am very important

but even she couldn't rid this pain from me it was so deep and physical I just wanted it gone

to know that even though you said I'm everything you would want in a relationship you still wouldn't

My gender is all you see not whats on the inside, just my mask not my soul, not even my love

But I wish the visions,precognitionandpremonitionswould just stop for just once but they didn't

months and months went past and only a tiny bit of hurt would leave, I just want it to shove

To be told being with me is against all basic human right but pressuring me into using my powers

even if it made me ill for your ownpersonalgain is not?

buts that's all I am to you self gain people are there to use and have their soul to devour

watching you love people only with your eyes when I could love and treat you so much better, stop!

watching you make the same mistake again and again because you can't see past your nose

to think in that way but that's the way things are I suppose

Having these invisible chains attached to me,manipulatedto think in a certain way

sucked in apsychologicalvortex of deciding whats right, wrong and weird through ignorance

But I refuse! I refuse to think or love in that way, a way that only causes hurt,

Unconditional love heals but people are to scared to love in that way completely

So They use conditions, strings and labels to stay boxed because its safer under the dirt

it may hurt other people but it doesn't hurt you so its okay evendiscreetly

I'm so much stronger now I see the light and the good in my uniqueness

broken people come to me because they know I can help

I can move on and keep this scared healed heart to remind me of the experience insuccess

but now, all I am left with is a numbness no love no pain just calmness with no strain

but you want to still have that deep connection and be mysoul mate?..... never again


updated by @yin-guest: 03/04/17 08:38:32AM
Yin Guest
@yin-guest
5 years ago
85 posts

*Scarred*

Yin Guest
@yin-guest
5 years ago
85 posts

Thank you, Yin x

Yin Guest
@yin-guest
5 years ago
85 posts

Thank you, Yin x

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