I Want to Be a Sociopath

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Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I'm tired of being sensitive
And feeling so much all the time.
I think I'll be a sociopath
And get it all off my mind.

I'm sick of all the sentiment
That courses through my veins.
If I could be a sociopath
I'd send it back from where it came.

I'm tired of the twisted nerves
That come with what I feel
And all the other problems it causes
That often make me ill.

I will simply become detached from it all
By examining each emotion,
And disassemble each of them
So they don't cause such commotion.

Experiences will be analyzed
In a scientific fashion.
I'll calmly relate to all events
Minus that messy passion.

It will be easy to be a sociopath -
With all the examples I've been supplied -
I'll worry no more about anyone, except -
Me, myself and I.

It's a matter of survival here
I really think I'll do it.
To empathy, henceforth, I say,
Be gone with you. Screw it.


updated by @ecila: 07/14/17 08:42:07AM
Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 years ago
1,184 posts

Dear E,

Another gem to add to your next poetry book. Good luck on turning yourself into sociopath. Why not go whole hog and become a narcissistic sociopath while you're at it?

I'm done joking, because the pain behind this is very real and a real issue for many of us. I don't think there is any doubt that sociopathy is pretty much an acceptable form of "morality" in this country now. I could site any number of examples to make my point, sadly. That makes being a real human being even harder, but I believe we are now the only chance for the survival of our species, so we must somehow persevere. Evil eventually eats itself, being a destructive, not creative force.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

I considered narcissism but I think they do feel pain, as far as I have figured them out, they just don't seem to feel it.

I'm halfway through the Glass Bead book, and the character does quite well not having emotions. Something tells me that he will take a turn in the second half, though!

But seriously, I think some examination of emotions is in order, at least for me, to get a grip. I really am tired of being pushed around by them.

Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 years ago
1,184 posts

Yep, narcs feel pain when they don't get their way, so your point is well taken. I was thinking how nice it would be to think of myself as grandly perfect, instead of beating myself up endlessly over minor flaws.

Temperament is supposedly hardwired, so if you achieve a major change, Please let me know how!

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Yep that would be nice. . . maybe if I just work on my denial a little more, it would work!

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Maybe I should add that I was only joking with all the above. Of course you're right, CCat, it's not really possible. . . still wouldn't be a good thing for anyone to try at home!

Cheshire Cat
@cheshire-cat
2 years ago
1,184 posts

I like the denial idea. Self-deception works too, lol.

I knew you were joking, but I suspect only half joking.

Or, maybe I am projecting because this world has really got me down.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

You'd be right. I do want a grip on the emotions but wouldn't want to be heartless:) It's the sociopaths who made the world such a mess.

Ecila
@ecila
2 years ago
898 posts

Hmm. I hadn't thought of it that way but you could be on to something:)

Femonique
@femonique
10 months ago
61 posts

I know this is an old post, but recently find myself amongst family, who inform me, there is no such thing as me, they don't believe.  So, if I admit I'm something "bad" or "less than", such as overly sensitive, that's more believeable.  But, they insist I stop feeling so sensitively.  Really?  And just exactly how does one do that? 

I've tried, but this "feel" has also protected me, and I really don't wanna not be me, because that would be a lie.  I already lived like that....blek.  

It's our time now.  The less sensitive must adjust, or it's their loss, not ours.  

Angel
@angel
10 months ago
603 posts

I have to admire to creativity of your poem and understand the desire to feel no more pain. But in all reality, being a sociopath isn't the way to go to get away from pain considering their lives revolve around nothing but pain. Since they feed off of the pain of others, they have to inflict that pain in order to get fed,defeating the purpose of simply wanting to be numb.

I don't think anyone can fully escape pain since it is such a huge part of who we are. Without pain, we would never gain the things we seek, such as love, forgiveness, hope, ect. All that is beautiful and bright could never be achieved without pain. It's funny how that works :) I don't think the idea is to be consumed by pain, but to learn how to transform it. Using the pain to create something positive out of it. It's not always easy, but without it we would never truely never gain what we seek. IMHO :)

Ecila
@ecila
8 months ago
898 posts

Femonique:

I've tried, but this "feel" has also protected me, and I really don't wanna not be me, because that would be a lie.  I already lived like that....blek.  

By all means you should be yourself! This poem was "tongue-in-cheek!"

Ecila
@ecila
8 months ago
898 posts

Angel:

I don't think the idea is to be consumed by pain, but to learn how to transform it. Using the pain to create something positive out of it. It's not always easy, but without it we would never truely never gain what we seek. IMHO :)

Yes, transformation would be the ideal way to deal with it. Sometimes you need to make life changes. 
The poem was meant to be a joke but I guess I was half serious.

And thank you:)

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