My little Chihuahua, Aja, was euthanized today. She was only 10 years old, but was blind and in kidney failure. She was the sweetest little girl, even though I was sticking needles into her and giving her yukky medicine on a daily basis. She would lick my face afterwards. So brave to be so small and blind in such a scary world. Once on our way to work she was in her car seat and I was lost in thought. When we got to the parking lot I said "Here we are" and she looked startled to realize that I was in the car with her. She must've thought she was on some crazy ride by herself...sitting there so trusting. My entire life has revolved around her care since she was diagnosed with kidney failure in August. It was a lot of work (especially since I have 8 other dogs in various conditions) but I didn't mind it a bit and would've done it forever for her. She began to struggle this week and I was hoping to see her rally with some aggressive fluid treatment and supplements. Just last night she was playing with a toy here. Today she went downhill fast and I was faced with taking her to an unfamiliar 24 hour hospital for the weekend or letting her go. Bringing her home would have caused her suffering eventually without her iv fluids. As I was discussing this with the doctor, the technicians brought her to me and said that she had rolled out of her bed and was lying in her food dish. Her heart rate was up and I said "I can't do this to her anymore". She went home surrounded by her loving caregivers and everyone was in tears. She was licking my face as she left. I am shattered and drained but I know I did what I had to. She was such an inspiration with her cheerful little disposition and her courage. She will be buried tomorrow with her story sealed in a Ziploc baggie and her favorite blankie. I am not new to this, but it doesn't make it any easier. She was/is a special soul. This is just a little tribute to her. She was a bright light in this often dark world. Fly free precious girl.
updated by @leslie: 09/06/18 06:27:33AM