Christina Rogers

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Stuck in Body Experience

By: Christina Rogers
Posted in:

To err is human, to forgive is divine

One of the most interesting discussions I have with my friends surrounds the strangeness one feels when theyre going through the awakening process. A lot of times you feel very between realms and are half up in the clouds, with only one foot on the ground. The sensationscan be confusing enough to experience, but to then attempt to explain it in human words can feel almost impossible.

Toknowsomething, not in my head through the words, but in my soul with no words at all is when I feel the most wise. The brain understands; but the soul, (spark, akasha/prana, essence)knowsa thing inherently, and without having to speak that knowledge into existence in order to validate its truth. Perhaps this is the ancient basis of the concept we humans have labeled as faith.

trappedIm learning to notice the presence of both my cognitive computer-like brain, and my quiet wise old soul and understand how theyre not one and the same

An awkward truth has come upon me from this learning: I feel bad being basic and unenlightened sometimes.I also get the sensation that I am half in my body, half up in the ether.

The part of me that is half out or enlightened issuperhappy, as if it has been freed fromthe confines of being merely a dirty dirty human and all the humans nasty habits like ego and jealousy.

The half in or human part is evenmorejealous and egoist because it wants to join the enlightened part. Its mad.So conceptually, the more enlightened I try to be through all mysubstances, and woo woo stuff (reiki, yoga, meditation), the harder it is for me to survive in the world like a normal person.

Its been this way since the Retreat in April; Ive been trying to live half and half, yet always feeling out of place. Its been very very hard, but ultimately good for me I think.I had lost respect for being human. I took all my various aches and pains personally, and have always thought my body was holding me back.

I like this next picture for explaining my concept, the deflated body is my enemy: always broken, keeping me down; keeping me from what I COULD BE

bad human

The gift I received from Grandmother at the Retreat was to accept my body as my spaceship, my meat suit if you will. She allowed me to separate myself from the pain and experience it as simply a physical stimuli happening to my ship. In no way was I required to take it to heart every time something hurt. And for a while, I was thrilled.

Now that Ive been placed back in my body inAugust, I have toacceptthat Im human. My Reiki teacher said the same thing, I like Reiki, and like my head in the clouds sometimes, but in the end Im human and I want to enjoy a glass of wine with my Sex and The City

But anyone must be able to say theyve experienced a time when theyre so tired of their own inner monologue, that they just want knock themselves outso they can be in total silence, if only just for a moment or two.

Instead, I need to respect that Im HUMAN, and DEAL with that. Deal with ego, and jealousy, and bad things (challenges) that come my way, and my body, and ACCEPT my life. (Note, this previously said my lot in life, but again that is implying that my life could be somehow better than it is, and the point is to acknowledge that things are actually just as they are supposed to be)

Im IN my body again. And I hate it! I feel like Im being grounded by God instead of my Mom. I am simplytrying to label and live by those labels instead of letting things flow, and discovering different ways of coexisting.


Christina Rogers
11/28/14 09:45:56AM @christina-rogers:

Thank you both. Yes, Krosskelt, that is exactly what I am feeling too! I have found that I fear 'awakening' experiences/substances more so now, because I do not want to feel that struggle again.

Interestingly enough, I had a very connecting experience in my other blog, where the angel/voice/god/whoever implied that I shouldn't struggle so much with "Trying to be more than human." He/She/It implied that being human IS my task right now, and that I must come to terms with it.

Only once we accept can we be at peace :)

11/28/14 01:47:56PM @pat-starbridge:

It seems spiritual seekers have always had a dislike of the human experience and being in human form. When the Buddha was still in search of enlightenment, he tried out some different sects, one of which didnt eat. But after starving himself, he figured that wasnt working either. His enlightenment came when he realized that all pain and suffering stems from attachment. Some people have taken this to mean detachment and a rejection of all worldly things. But thats not what the Buddha meant. One can find great pleasure in the world but accept that all life is transitory.

We chose to be in these bodies and to experience spirit manifested in physical form. Everything is a part of source, including the human body. I dont consider the body a vehicle nor a meat suit but a great work of art that our soul created. It is unique and will never be seen again on this earth. The physical body has its own wisdom, right now an entire universe exists within you, keeping your heart beating, your breathe flowing, your blood moving, etc. It needs no help from you, it knows what to do. Our body is our best friend, it is there on our first breathe and will be on our last. It will do anything it can to help you, it protects you and while your spirit is here, it is your home. And yet, we rarely send it love, we treat our pets, houseplants, and cars better than our own bodies. We provide nourishment and rest but when we think of it as dirty or nasty; we show no respect for it. We always think we know what to do with our bodies but we never listen to them. Right now, the latest trend is to detoxify the body, and the body is going Im fine but some food would help.

One of the joys of the physical world is that it is physical. In other worlds, this type of physicality doesnt exist. I once asked a friend who helped people deal with alien encounters, why were all these aliens hanging around. She said that, in part, they are fascinated with physicality. We have the privilege of experiencing both the physical and spiritual worlds. The problem is that we have made it into an either/or situation and it doesnt have to be that way. One of the things that I have been learning is that we have needed this time to be out and floating around, to understand the bigger picture; but now were coming back into our bodies and bringing that awareness with us. And that also means that we fully acknowledge our human side and appreciate it. Often I hear people say, well I love this world and then they describe being alone in nature. Sure, thats fine but so is enjoying yummy food, friends, movies, tv, art, singing, dancing etc. When we think that we are only connected to Source when we are being spiritual then we deny that Source is everywhere and it is.

Christina Rogers
12/03/14 01:37:02PM @christina-rogers:

Oh shoot, I clicked the blank white boxes next to a comment, thinking it was something else, and I accidentally deleted some comments. I am SO sorry. I was trying to reply and indicate my gratitude, and instead I deleted. I feel awful.