By Cait, 2012-05-10
I'm still new to the idea of being empathic versus just generally being empathetic. Lately emotions have been harder to control and I think that's because I've finally opened up to the idea that there is more to me than just being highly sensitive.This is all fascinating, frustrating and slightly spooky at the same time.
Ihave a close friend who is having trouble dealing with the hand life has dealt her. I've been trying to help guide her through the darkness as much as she has asked/ will allow. With everything she has had to deal with in the past, and her family members that are emotional vampires (i believe), the thing that is a sticking point for me is her mother. Her mother committed suicide when my friend was 11 years old. It's been a tough issue for her ever since as she's never really had an adequate surrogate and there are many many things she questions. Not the least of which being, is she like her mother (does she have the same"illness")and how can she overcome without falling into the same trap that basically turned her mother catatonic, closed up inside fighting the darkness, constantly depressed.This is a very drawing issue for me, as I can see what a truly bright light my friend is/could be if she can look within and learn to love herself, to see what I do.
After an interesting evening with her and another empathic/medium friend who channelled what we believe was her mother, I've had this nagging feeling that mommy dearest has a message to give that has not yet been understood or properly conveyed. Just now, sitting at my desk researching (when I should, in fact, be working) I started to become very light headed, it felt similar to when I go into my meditative state. The world was just starting to block out, greying the edges. I tried to fight it because if I'm going to trance out somewhere for the first time, this is not really a good place for it. Then when I went to the back room, for a few seconds I felt a strange sensation, like a foggy head almost I guess, and all of a sudden I just saw a vision of a girl sitting curled up in the dark. Her right hand was to her head which she had bent down. She was sobbing and saying "I can't do this, I don't know how to do this"
I don't know if I'm reading into things too much because of how badly I want to help my friend overcome her darkness. I don't know if I really saw what I think I saw. The voice was like a strange echo in my head and in ways it sounded like my friend's voice, but it wasn't quite the same. This leaves me to wonder whether this may have been a glimpse of something from her mother or if this is something my friend may be currently feeling or struggle with down the road. I just don't know what it means or if it means anything.
I wish I didn't have to constantly question myself, especially so when I've been worrying over something.