By Lotusfly, 2016-03-01

I am now manifesting my reality instantly. I am no longer blocked and my calling of healer has been with me since I was a baby. I remember what I was like back then, trying to heal my parents. I now know who I am. I am so powerful that I can help or hurt people. Being aware of this impact I had on others is what put me in my shell. I am no longer afraid of my greatness. I am free flowing energy. I can prove (and have without trying) that I am affecting my environment with my energy. I have great healing abilities. Just my intention affects my reality. My words, even not spoken, become real. I am now believing what I knew all along. This "self-importance" of being special and gifted and brilliant and great - a superhuman, a channeller, a healer, a knower of truth without study, is real.

I watched this video today and it is very much in line with what I've been feeling about life: Thank you, Daydra, for your Spiritual Awakening blog post, where I ended up at the video above. Daydra has been so helpful to me with her belief in the Law of Attraction. I have been applying it to my life and I have discovered in my daily life that life is really what we make of it and grace happens when we feel graceful and believe. We are what we believe we are. I know my self worth now, thanks to my journey, which really transformed through my spiritual awakening on August 26, 2015. A medium helped me clear a blockage in my leg and I was able to feel my soul for the first time ever. Prior to that, I had been on prescription meds for 15 years from a nervous breakdown when I was 18. I was in the emergency mental health inpatient ward of a hospital and when I arrived I'll never forget how raw and sensitive and exposed I felt (like a newborn baby), in my own world, deeply scared by my own fears that were likely but exaggerated, sitting down at a table in my first group, which was an arts and crafts group, and I turned and looked at the person next to me and we, upon making eye contact, started cracking up, for we could understand each other without speaking. We SAW each other. We knew what the other was feeling. This is called Namaste in Yogic language. We were like babies, animals, nature. Completely open and free flowing that we were so much more receptive to other energies of other life that we felt it and the awe that I know we both felt at that moment was so special and so real and comforting. Yet, I was medicated in the hospital and given a diagnosis of "schizophrenia" (according to my medical paperwork). However, this was inaccurate, based solely on my acute symptoms, because I was already seeing a psychiatrist for depression and so my diagnosis became schizoaffective. Ha. What a journey it's been. It's incredible to even ponder the extent of what I went through to find myself. I didn't know any better. I didn't know there were telepaths or empaths or healers back in 1999. I had heard of psychics but I didn't really believe in them.

I knew my whole life I was different and I was only trying to find an explanation for my difference. To understand my self. To find something, someone who was a reflection of me so that I could understand me. I didn't meet anyone like me. But I did meet many who helped me to find me. I went through life so fast that I couldn't stick with one thing for long. I couldn't complete anything I started because I would be on to the next thing quicker than most. I thought this was a fault. I thought it was not being successful. So I thought I was a failure. I thought I was a loser and succuumed to a life of never achieving anything. I've done enough schooling to have at least a Bachelors degree, though I don't even have a certificate or associates degree. I didn't finish high school because my life was heading in a different direction and I just couldn't do something that I wasn't entirely into. It was always either all or nothing, sink or swim, do or die, live or escape, be free or be a prisoner. I struggled in school because I was a perfectionist. I wanted my masterpiece, my creation, what I did to matter to me, to be a reflection of my heart and soul. I lived according to, do it right or don't do it at all. I could not do anything half-assed. I could not not be passionate about what I did. If there was no passion, I simply could not do it. If someone distracted me or I was distracted by another interest, there was absolutely nothing I could do to force myself to do that which I did not want to do. I have lived my life for me. For myself to find and rediscover herself. I took on all sorts of soothing habits: thumbsucking, nailbiting, knucklecracking, emotional eating, smoking, drugs, relationships/sex, OCD, multiple personalities, psychosis, depression, mania, victim, victor, lover, fighter, homeless, morbidly obese, lack of interest in food. The list goes on. My hair was falling out due to the meds I was on. I have adult acne. I developed eczema. I developed a skin condition that no one could diagnosis and then it went away on its own (though I still have the scars from it). I knew something was not right with me. And I kept trying to figure it out and then fix the damages I did. I quit all of the bad habits I acquired through the people I came across in my life, as well as the ones I instinctively did myself. I developed acute ADHD for the first time in my life upon my spiritual awakening. I should say the first one I had. There have been other awakenings since. I had an energy flushing experiences in the space between awake and asleep. My body felt paralyzed and it felt as though water was flowing through my body like a faucet. I was scared but lifting my head stopped the flushing. This was very real. As have been my other paranormal experiences. None of which I'm attempting to create for myself. It is all just happening on its own. Though I have been healing myself through reiki, as I was taught how I could do this by a very special soul I met on my journey. I cannot thank her enough. After the first awakening, I asked her if she could do reiki on me because I felt my chakras weren't completely clear. She opened up all of my chakras and I was able to sing and perform for an audience. I was able to let my inhibitions go and not feel self-conscious in front of others. I was able to just be me and focus on what I was doing. This is when the introvert me became an extrovert. But it wasn't ego-based. I was just happy to be me freely. And at that moment I noticed how my being me helped others relax into being them. It instilled a sense of calm and okayness with being oneself. I then felt the desire to help encourage others to be themselves through being me. I didn't want or need to be the center of attention and still preferred not to be. But I realized how powerful I was being me and how much it could help others. And it did :) Wherever I went, when my energy was good and positive and I was confident and joyful, good times ensued around me. When I felt fearful, scared, and hopeless, my world reflected that. I was definitely affecting my environment and now I feel as though it is more than most, because I cannot hide my true feelings (I never have been able to). I cannot be fake. I cannot put on a happy face when I do not feel joyous. I've been that way my whole life. I used to give the evil eye to guys who would say "Smile!" to me when I wasn't smiling. They knew how my smile lit up a room and when I was in contemplation (serious state), and therefore not smiling, I didn't look happy and it made them feel solemn.

There is more, of course. But that is all I can write for now. I know that I have the power to heal people who appreciate me. I know I have the ability to do the opposite when I feel betrayed by people. I know I have a profound impact on people. Though I only want it to be a good impact. Nature is my source. I am able to connect with and affect nature. The planets, moon, stars, space weather, things unspoken but felt and known, affect my moods. Astrology is very accurate for me. Though anything else only clouds my true purpose that is unlike any other. I am a shaman, a gifted master. I feel god in me. I can tell you about past lives and memories. The spiritual (afterlife, paranormal, metaphysical) world is Real. You only need to relax into it and believe in your individual soul in order to connect to the oneness. We all have this ability.

*Unedited, freeflowing writing.

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Realization of my true self

By Lotusfly, 2016-03-01

*Warning: Incomplete ramble below that jumps around at times*

Feeling like a victim to my life, as if I didn't have choices, was the reason for my self-pity and negative circumstances. It is MY fault I am where I am. This has taken me a LONG time to realize, but it is my truth and I have to speak my truth, because it comes from loving kindness, a hard life and a life of transformation. I chose to do the things I did, because I needed the experience. I needed to experience suffering and pain and life and loss. Because it made the sensitive, empath, introvert, brilliant child with the biggest heart have some courage so that she may shine in this world. So that she will be strong enough to shine her goodness on this difficult world.

If you've been through tough times and are still here - congratulations!!! You are a warrior. A warrior of love and light and you can take what you have learned, and the strength and character you've developed, and put it to good use. Now is your time to shine!

Challenges and pain are not bad. Repressing them is. The bad makes us appreciate the good. The good rejuvenates us, makes us feel lively :) The downtimes are for resting. Deaths are to be cried over. This is life. A good life. Where we take the good with the bad. We accept all feelings, because it feels GREAT to feel deeply. I love crying and feeling sad. I embrace that humanness in me.

I am imperfect. I have scars. I have been near death and back. I have felt so elated I didn't care if I lived or died. I have been at such peace that I am fine with just being.

Suffering, being without, having nothing, and not letting it bother me, just accepting it, has given me such gratitude.

I have found my self, my soul, and I love her. Joy and love is my fuel. My body needs very little. I just want to live and enjoy life. My purpose so far has been to love and accept my self. I took a long, roundabout way of getting here, but I realize it was meant to be.

Now I may love others unconditionally. Now I am not offended by others. I show love where I see suffering. Because I've been there and I know what it's like and I have deep compassion for people who suffer as I did and I know what they are lacking.

I know that the majority of the people in this world are lacking self-love, joy, soul-connection, and self-acceptance. We are living in a world where pain and fear prevails. But that is an illusion. The outer world is a reflection of the inner.

I choose to be a Loveworker. Because that is who I am. I was born a loving child who loved my mother more than she loved me or herself. She had me to fill her lack of self-love, so I have spent my life caring about everyone but myself :)

When I realized how important and effective intent (or intention) is in life (where the energy goes, life flows...) I remembered my mom saying the reason she had me was because she wanted to start her own family because she felt her's had fallen apart. But I realized, through talking to her and others, and through observation and understanding and my own experiences, that she herself felt incomplete (lack of self-love) and thought I would complete her.

So I was conceived with the intent of fulfilling someone else's love. That is in my genes! That is why I was born super sensitive, an empath, a calm/quiet/good child. My purpose was to make others happy. To care about others more than myself. And that I did!

It was Hard - having that obligation in my genes from birth, my purpose being to fulfill others' lack of love, dissolve their pain, anything to make them happy, and not getting love in return that was compatible to the amount I felt in my heart for others, plus the fact that my parents were unable to love me unconditionally due to their lack of self-love and not feeling whole themselves (as much of the people in the world). It was a tug of war with people and the world. Trying to give love and avoid pain, and never feeling fulfilled or giving what I was capable of, because of a lack of self-love - in all of us!

Always hungry. Always trying to fill that lack with something. I put on over 100 lbs and I'm down over 130 lbs now. I tried to end my life when I was 18. I have worked full-time in accounting and gone to school full-time online for English at the same time. I have been homeless in the winter months. I have starved. I have experienced addictions and abstinence. I dropped out of high school and I got my GED without studying. I went to college (3 different majors) and I have yet to graduate. I have slept in a crack house when I didn't do crack, I have stopped and hugged a homeless person on the street when I wasn't homeless, I have lived life for the sake of experience so that I could understand how the world works, so that I may help change it. Because I realized the problem wasn't me. The problem is that the world is not a good place - for anyone. For any of us. No one enjoys the way the world is currently going!

Back to being born with the instinct to care for others more than myself. I was willing to die than to hurt others. I would so easily sacrifice my life than to hurt others or see people hurt. The hurt in this world weighed me down. The pain in this world was too great for me to bear. I did not want to add to it. It wasn't me. If I couldn't contribute positively, I'd rather not be here.

After much trial and error, I have come to love myself as an individual, beautiful soul with my own purpose, and developing love for myself is part of the equation of being so loving and giving to others. Because I cannot be a loveworker if I do not love myself first. I cannot help people if I don't take care of me first.

So this has been a long journey of not knowing who I was, losing myself, trying on different costumes, stripping away the layers, getting to the nitty gritty of my true self, and then building myself up again, to the person I truly am and want to be.

I hope to publish my story and journals of this transformation someday, for free, because I believe everyone should have unconditional access to this knowledge to better their lives and become whole.

We are special, beautiful souls, each with our own purpose. We are each a unique puzzle piece that fits together in the complete puzzle of life.

I hope you enjoy the rest of 2016. Make it count. :)

P.S. I loved watching this video for March this morning:

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Let’s Talk Turkey

By Trevor Lewis, 2016-02-27

A friend of mine, Abbey, and I were discussing a client issue the other day. In the middle of the conversation three woodpeckers flew outside my office window. Id seen single woodpeckers there often but this was the first time I had seen a family. Abbey immediately said Look up what a woodpecker means. I did and it fitted wonderfully into our conversation about the client and resolved the issue beautifully.

Abbey went on to say that whenever somebody says Thats the first time Ive seen such and such she always looks for the significance of that animal. So I told her about my favorite drive over the mountain to the other side of my town. The first time I had driven this road I had seen a flock of 5 or 6 wild turkeys. I had seen them in ones or twos around town before but never so many. The second time I drove this road I saw a flock of 7 or 8 but, although I had driven the road a dozen times or more since, I hadnt seen any more turkeys. Now Abbey had peaked my interest. What sign had I missed by not researching what turkeys meant all those weeks ago?

I was talking to Abbey over the phone when I turned right onto my mountain road the next day. I said Now that I know that the turkeys were probably significant lets see if they show up today. Sure enough a flock of seven turkeys were waiting for me on the side of the road. Even better, when we checked on the meaning of seeing turkeys, the opening lines read of the description It is usually a good omen indicating that great gifts are imminently forthcoming. Very nice!

I continued the drive over to the friend I was visiting on the other side of the mountain. As I was driving home I had the thought Suppose the Universe wanted to really emphasize how much of a sign this really was. I wonder if Ill see turkeys on the way home as well.

I did!

Twenty four wild turkeys in a field on the side of the road on the way home!


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Empath > people pleaser > unhappy/pain

By Lotusfly, 2016-02-26

Gotta get this out there and it's a blog post so no haters ;) Just have to vent cuz I've learned that writing/talking the words that are in my brain and putting words to my feelings is the only way I heal.

First off, born hs (highly sensitive), awake, with the intuition to heal, a clear mind, and no karma or ego. It doesn't make sense that I would be born this way considering the abuse, addictions, and emotional instability experienced by my birth parents. I felt like an angel in this world and did my best to deal with the horrific reality of the "real world."

It was not in me to hurt another, so through quiet observation, I did all I could to avoid getting hurt and to avoid hurting. This left me in a state of not living, trying to act and do what others and the world expected of me, including what I thought they expected of me through my heightened observation. But people are very wish-washy, so I was often wrong in my guesses, and this left me in a state of perpetual confusion, due to the mixed messages, not just from one person but from society. I didn't know how to act or behave anymore. I was paralyzed by uncertainty. Not because I didn't know what to do, but because I didn't know what I should do. I had been living my life based on what my family, society, and the world thought I should live...all due to pain avoidance.

Now, at 35, I have finally realized that NO ONE knows what's best for me...except for me. Furthermore, I've come to totally disagree with how the majority of society is run, so here I am, still shaken up from living for others, super sensitive to my environment and taking in all the signals (though knowing now that I don't have to act on them), a huge lack of self confidence and self belief/trust, and STUCK in my current situation (disabled, living with my mother), with huge dreams and passions and little ability to carry them out, to act according to what I want because I'm not used to relying just on me and being strong despite what others around me think, or say, or do.

I'm in huge pain right now (fibromyalgia coupled with a slip and fall where I pulled one shoulder muscle a little). I feel like I'm dying with all this pain. But I wanted to write about my distress before I take a nap/rest.

I know the fibromyalgia is stored fear, doubt, negative thoughts and emotions, and just plain holding back and not expressing myself freely and not living life how I want to live it. It's like swimming upstream...a lot of work but not productive. However, the aches and pains and other symptoms I've experienced in the past are definitely my body taking a toll to living my life according to what I think others expect of me. It's like, I'm moving in one direction and my soul wants to go in another, so there is a tug of war and my body gets the brunt of it. (Thoughts and emotions are just as powerful as actions too!)

I've been living my life in constant fear, doubt, worry...and though it seems minor and I'm used to it, it is definitely chronic and adds up!

Though I am sure there is a reason I've lived my life this way so far, and I'm just grateful I realized it when I did...because that means I can change it!! :) BUT...easier said than done. It is not just a switcheroo with me...I learn from experience and mistakes, and living such a fear-based life, debunking my own fears (which are simply thoughts attached to emotion...not reality), I'm learning the last obstacle I have to defeat in my mid-life rebirth, is own limitations...and living the life I want and truly desire. :)

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Gridding is a way (among many) of providing a shield against unwanted energies entering your home or workplace. You can create grids using the following process:

  1. For each grid, you will need 4 metal objects. Copper pennies are wonderfully convenient and hold an energetic charge well.
  2. Determine where you are going to place your grids; we recommend a minimum of four nested levels. If you are gridding a home, start outside with the boundaries of the land in a rectangular pattern with four right-angled corners. The next grid will be immediately around the outside of the building. The third will be at the room level for each room you want to grid; pick the ones where you spend the most time, your bedroom, your office, etc. The fourth level will be around your personal space in that room, your bed, you desk, and so on. You can add grids for each room that you want to protect. You can even add grids around your doorways and windows.
  3. Set your intention for the coins, four coins for each grid, by holding them in your hand and declaring I charge you all with working together to energetically guard and protect this space from all dark or dense energy for the highest good of all concerned. You can amend and extend the wording as you feel appropriate. How would you give instructions to a human team of spiritually minded security guards if you were hiring them to protect your home? You can specify your family member names explicitly. You can add time frames explicitly, every day of every week, 24 hours a day. Add whatever feels right for you.
  4. Starting with the outermost grid, the one around the outside of the property. Place one coin in each of corner of the rectangle. Secure each coin so as to be undisturbed over time. Repeat for each grid moving inwards.
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A Leap of Faith

By Lotusfly, 2016-02-16

Faith is a very ambiguous topic for someone who was not brought up with any denomination or set of beliefs. Not baptized, not forced in any religious direction. But maybe that was a direction. A direction of unknowing. A floater. No belief to ground "the balloon" me to the ground.

So I set out on life trying to find my belief. To understand the world around me. Because I did not come with an instruction manual. And my soul, my true self, did not align to the world around me. I was a pure breed. A pure consciousness that had no understanding of wrongdoing until I entered kindergarten and was shown that even someone of my age, whom I thought was as innocent as I, could be so cruel.

I couldn't trust anyone. Not even myself. For I, like life, was unpredictable. Just when I thought I understood something...BAM...I was awakened with a slap in my sensitive face that this was a brutally harsh world for my sensitive body and soul.

I was afraid. I was deathly afraid...for my life and a world of carnivorous creatures. I had to stay quiet in order to survive. Because if they knew me, if they knew how delicately sensitive of a creature I was...they would eat me alive.

I knew this...because I could sense their soul and how was. It was in a distant world that did not care for another human being (soul). It only cared to empower itself and delight in the pain of another. It was evil. It was untameable. It was a disease. And I chose to avoid it by keeping to myself in hopes that I wouldn't be discovered.

In my nightmares...big, dark, ugly monsters...thirty times my size...would show up when I was in the middle of playing or doing my dreams. The first time that one showed up, I was taken off guard, completely its vastly grosteque appearance in my beautiful, innocent dream...and I perished from sheer fright...and being consumed (eaten) by the monster.

However, I grew to sense when this large, ugly, scary monster was about to enter my dream, and I learned how to deal with it. I learned that when I sensed it approaching, I would curl up in a ball and cover my head with my arms and hands, to block out all light and vision, while clenching my eyelids tight and pretending as if I wasn't there. As if I didn't exist. Because if I couldn't see the monster, it couldn't see me.

That was my way of dealing with something scary in my life. Learning how to avoid (work with) it so that I would go about unseen, the monsters.

It worked pretty well. I was rarely bullied, I was rarely physically hurt, and I was not sexually hurt (at least, not where I felt completely powerless, gratefully). I consider myself lucky, or maybe fortunate. I've been through hell and back, I can guarantee that, but it was all in my choosing. It was to gain experience, through my soul guiding me, and I never lost complete touch with my soul...even during those times where I felt so lost or when I thought I was all right but was actually far from the truth.

My soul, my guardian angel(s?), God, the universal lifeforce energy...has been with me this whole time. It has been carrying me through life, even during those times I felt like I was steering.

Now I am letting go and falling into the arms of...the angel, the energy, the flow...whatever it is...because it is a place of peace, of understanding, of warmth, and love so vast that...I cannot go wrong. I am letting my soul steer the boat.

I am crying as I write this. I am so full of emotional energy that my body changes according to my fire...or lack there of. I have cold hands right now because I'm not feeling joy. Because my soul is not singing. I know that my body will guide me to where my soul needs to go. I just got chills now...and I know that is my soul saying, "Yes! Go that way." I know that my soul needs to be fed as much as I do. My soul's source of food is joy. Pure joy in its entirety.

But my soul (and I) both need to rest and regroup when the joy (or the pain or sorrow) get to be too much. Too overstimulating. "Ooh..." or "Oops.." "...need to take a breather and reevaluate this direction. "Am I in the flow? Am I in line with my universal purpose, while satisfying my soul and my self?" Balance. Redirection. Being aware enough to realize...or notice...when I'm going fullsteam ahead and not paying attention to the hidden subtleties of the universe's flow. Because it is not just my flow I need to follow...I need to be flowing with the universe's flow too...and that is always changing...because there are many souls, each following their flow, within the vast universal flow, so when a soul changes their direction, it can affect my direction, and I need to be aware of this grand energetic flow to stay afloat and floating down the river of life, rather than upstream. Because my flow...the one that seemed SO right just a moment ago...can change direction in a moment's a current or a riptide...and if I'm oblivious to the universal current, and just keep going in my own direction, I will find myself swimming against the tide. But that's okay. It happens, because it's easy to get caught up in what I want/need to do and forget about what's going on around me. So I tune back in to my self, my body, my soul, and listen for the see where I can catch a wave with grace and ease.

Being so full of this creative energy can be blinding. I can get caught up in my goals, my purpose, my project and ignore all else. When the discomfort of my body or soul gets great enough (shouting sometimes), I must redirect my attention inward and find my peace and calm again before proceeding further. It's a dance between being a creator and creating. Between being the artist and being the art. Between doing and being. Between human and soul. The beautiful dance of life. Of give and take. Of love and loss. Of joy and sorrow. And nothing is right or wrong. It all

I am not swept up in the tide of creating or creator or lover or victim. I am none and all. I am neither and I am everything. We all are. We're all beautiful dancers in this life. Dancing to and fro with ourselves and with each other.

Do you like to dance?

If the answer is no, well, I feel sorry for you. I hope that you will find a way to liberate your soul that will allow you to play a part in this "game" of life.

If you do like to dance, would you like to dance with me?

I can say...with clear intent...that...

it's no fun dancing alone :)

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Ascending the Law of Attraction!

By Goodenergyhealing, 2016-02-14

What is the Law of Attraction?

The Law of Attraction, in a nutshell, says that if we think, and or feel positive, we attract (more) positive things (events, people, feelings) into our lives; whereas if we think, and or feel negative, we attract (more) negative things (events, people, feelings) into our lives. It goes somewhat hand in hand with one of the first things I learned on my spiritual path our thoughts are a creative force, i.e. they can create feelings and events, and according to the Law of Attraction attract more of something into our lives as well.

The Law of Attraction in practice

Most of the books and articles I have read about the Law of Attraction, work with visualizations. But tools can vary somewhat, there might also be vision boards, affirmations, want-to-be financial accounts etc. I.e. if someone e.g. lacks money, one would recommend for him/ her to visualize more money. E.g. visualize going online, opening ones online bank statements, and seeing a wonderful, large, positive balance. Supposedly the more detailed and realistic ones visualizations are - the better. E.g. one would imagine the feel of the keyboard, the temperature in the room, the brightness of the screen, the time it takes for the web-pages to open etc. And then one would try to feel what one would feel like content, safe, secure, happy, exhilarated. Furthermore one should follow on with visualizing what one would do with the money- buy a better car, book that dream holiday etc.

There is nothing that cannot be visualized a dream job, a celebrity career, better to great health, the perfect body, the perfect partner, etc, etc. So initially when I learned about the Law of Attraction, I was fascinated. Supposedly I just had to dream up my dream life, the Universe would listen and my dream life would be mine. Usually I would not read about specific time frames though, i.e. how long, or frequent one would have to visualize that million pounds in the bank account, for it to materialize. I only read that the more detailed the visualization, the faster the results. One just has to supposedly do ones best to keep ones dreams free from doubts, but that did not sound that daunting. There seemed to be a lot of fairness in the whole thing as well. Humans, according to the Law of Attraction, are the masters of their own lives. They create their fate. I.e. someone poor, or sick only has to blame themselves for it (but could free themselves of those clutches, by simply forgiving him-/ herself, and visualizing better!)

Problems with the Law of Attraction

For one, there is some ethical considerations. One can e.g. visualize ones dream house, and the Universe should then provide such, or very similar, but one should ideally not insist on a particular house. There is this anecdote of a woman on a walk, passing by a house, which she falls in love with! It is all she ever wanted from her dream house! She therefore goes about visualizing owning it, living in it etc. A few months later the house comes on the market, and she does manage to get her offer on it accepted. Great result? Possibly not, as the previous owners supposedly perished in a car accident. Could the womans visualizations have been a contributing factor? Maybe, maybe not? Anyway, if one keeps ones visualizations more general, e.g. visualizing that million pounds bank balance, but not insisting on a specific way for the money to get there, the Universe supposedly will find ways. Sometimes supposedly quite creative and surprising ones

The next problem is - no one tells you how long a wish takes to be fulfilled! How long for a million pounds? But lets be a bit more modest, how about just 1000 pounds, just to get rid of that pesky overdraft. Should it take a week, a months, a few months, even years. Most books I read are very enthusiastic. The cosmic cash machine just has to be milked with positive money visualizations! So what if there is not more money in the account after a month, or two, or three? There might have been the Christmas bonus, but that is contractual, so one really did not have to spend hours visualizing more money to get it In this one famous book, about the Law of Attraction, supposedly a true story - a mans parachute does not open, he breaks his back, and is paraplegic as a consequence. But knowing that one can visualize oneself healthy against all the doctors predictions, he manages to walk again within a few months! Now if a medical miracle, such as this takes a few months should 1000 pounds not be a doddle for the Universe? For me personally the cosmic cash machine initially just simply did not want to pay out any extra, besides my regular salary. So I for one started to develop fears that the Universe might be forsaking me? And I have spoken to others who felt just as let down. I started to worry that the Law of Attraction works for everyone else, but me? Had I been a terrible despot in a previous life, and the Universe still shunned me? I did not really have much in terms of doubts when I first learned about the Law of Attraction, but since things did not materialize, I started to become a more doubtful person

Such fears are not pleasant, but if everything else is somewhat alright, most will likely just go back to their lives, mostly forget about the Law of Attraction, and just keep creating more income the conventional way by apply themselves in their jobs, and or do some extra studies, gain some extra qualifications and get promoted, or find a better position elsewhere. Nothing that one had not planned on doing anyway.

Having read about the Law of Attraction one might actually be in a worse position too, than one was before. I for one followed the advise to the letter. Supposedly one should not doubt that the Universe will provide, so I did not and spend beyond my means, maxed out that overdraft, and even took out an extra bank loan (it was for a spiritual healing trip to Maui, Hawaii after all, and my guru back then claimed that it was essential for our spiritual development)

Where the Law of Attraction can get really insidious though is for the really down trodden. Initially, when one learns that negative thoughts, and feelings will attract more negatives into ones live, that is not a real threat. Hey obviously I want to feel and think good anyway! It does not need a degree in psychotherapy to work out, that negative thoughts and emotions are less pleasant than positive ones. There were a few things in my life that needed improving, and that could frustrate me, but I had learned about the Law of Attraction so once I had dreamt up, and materialized my dream life, Id be happy and frustration free anyway no? To make a long story short after waking up spiritually, and putting a lot of effort into my self-healing, meditating regularly, and doing tons of spiritual work, if anything my life took a nose dive. Within 3 years I suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). CFS gave me terrible constant fatigue and exhaustion, near permanent fluey feelings, night sweats, frequent throat aches, and with this feelings of depression (but then it is hard to remain cheerful, if one feels awful 24/7 for years!). Whenever I now read about the Law of Attraction it would be more of a curse than a helpful tool. Supposedly I would just have to visualize/ imagine being full of energy, and healthy but after months, and then years of feeling sick, I could not anymore. I could not even remember what healthy and fit felt like, even less so visualize and feel it! So all that I had left from the Law of Attraction was its dark side surely I would just attract more exhaustion, sickness, and depression into my life for it?

So I argue that maybe the Law of Attraction can be helpful if one is in full, or near-full capacity, of ones visualization powers. I.e. if one has low or medium amounts of discontent it ones life, but for anything severe, such clinical depression, chronic illnesses, chronic pain, abject poverty or the like it can easily just become a curse! And I would potentially put empaths right in there too! Especially not self-realized empaths! Looking back, most likely my CFS was actually me taking on loads of negative energies, emotions etc. working in an office environment. As after/ through years of intense self-healing work, I had uncovered empath abilities. I was literally overwhelmed by so many low vibration energies it made me feel physically sick! As an empath one can get all sorts of negative energies, including fears, despondencies etc. I.e. even if one is positive, believes that the Universe loves one and provides if an empath is surrounded by doubters, and keeps on getting energies of fear, doubt and despondency, gets overwhelmed by them, and then sits down and wants to visualize positive events/ feelings/ outcomes, it can be virtually impossible. It might actually back-fire, as trying to visualize something positive, one might only see negative, or even terrible things and then one remains with the fear that they will be created/ attracted now!

So sure, if one, for whatever reason (likely it wont be the Law of Attraction), improves in health, or becomes an adjusted empath (in control of his/ her energies, at least in so far that negativities do not manage to overly accumulate and overwhelm) one could return to the Law of Attraction. But then there are other tools, which are less petulant, and potentially terrifying to use

Ascending the Law of Attraction

I am talking of good old prayer! When we pray to the Divine, we pray to powers, which are full of compassion, and love us unconditionally! Sure they likely wont fulfill prayers that would end up harming ourselves or others (which remains a potential with the Law of Attraction!), but other than that, once we pray, they start working for us! Angels (or whatever other divine helping beings) will not stop working for us, if we have a bad day are grumpy, despondent or doubtful. The Law of Attraction could be argued, is strictly binary in its response, whereas angels are intelligent, and compassionate. As long as we pray right, and do not block our prayers in some way (by e.g. holding on to restricting believes re the Divine), they will be worked upon! As such I find prayers to be much easier and effortless tools. Instead of spending time visualizing that positive bank statement, virtually smelling it, feeling it, and then spending all the money I just pray for abundance (definitely financial independence), and get on with my day! Basically I just pray and ask that my life becomes as happy and suffering free as possible and that the Divine helps me in every possible and sensible way to clear anything that impedes this happy and effortless life!

Just to be double safe I pray and ask that me, my bodies, and my life are always protected, as much as necessary, possible, available and sensible against any negativity. Be that negativities from the outside, passing through me, or still inside myself. And I ask that any negative influences, that do manage to intrude, be healed off a.s.a.p. please! Since I have done so, and with it pretty much started to completely ignore the Law of Attraction huge amounts of fear, and even guilt, have lifted. I do not become paranoid anymore if I do e.g. have/ get depressive feelings (which nowadays usually are energies I get from my healing and massage clients anyway). Rather I get on with my day, and healing work, as best as possible confident that those depressive feelings will not be able to create any atrocities in my life! After all having to feel such lower frequency energies (as an empath) is uncomfortable enough as it is, there is no need to heap more low frequency emotions of fear, paranoia, or guilt on top of them. Nowadays negative emotions are like clouds in the sky, they might cover up the sun, make it colder, and even rain on me but they always pass too, and the sun comes out again!!!

The Law of Attraction vs. Prayers

I have had some heated discussions about this topic with other believers, so I apologize in advance for toes I might step on my intention is to help make spiritual work, and lives more effortless, not less so..This one guy I discussed the Law of Attraction with kept on insisting, that the Law of Attraction ALWAYS works! Maybe the Law of Attraction does work, to a certain extend (I do believe that there are other forces that shape our lives too though feel free to learn more about them in Tours and Cures of a Lightsoldier (Alexander King)), but I would argue that the Law of Attraction is a bit like gravity. Sure it exists, and it might always be there, but prayers give us wings, and help us to fly! One day they might help us discover even better tools, like simply beaming in and out of places.

I believe there might just be another reason why the Law of Attraction is more popular (to some) than prayers though! Law of Attraction books and followers seem to like the quasi secular quality of the Law of Attraction. It is seen as a law of nature, not a divine force. I would argue, that if one can believe that there are forces that follow through on every thought and emotion we have, and attract things for us why is it that much more difficult to believe that there is a benevolent Higher Power that does mostly all the same, just without the downsides? I guess prayers have that little attachment to them the Divine will decide if they are harmonious, and only help fulfill them if they are. I find that the Divine does not want us to suffer - so prayers for good health, a roof over ones head, a decent income/ financial independence, good friends, love, happiness etc. will be heard! I doubt the Divine will get stuck in though, and make you a billionaire. Sure creation is abundance, and we should affirm abundance, but somehow I cannot imagine it possible for every single human to become a billionaire (not without massive inflation being involved at least!). I am not saying that money cannot help one be happy, but what good is having more than one can ever spend? And if one feels even a fraction of the ALL-AS-ONE Love that is inside of all of us I think having far too much money will just become stressful. One would just end up fretting constantly on how to use It best to benefit the collective.

I believe that behind the illusions of suffering is the divine ideal for all our lives. I would not presume to know what that ideal exactly looks like. Where e.g. does comfortable financial independence end, and greed begin? So nowadays, rather than sitting down and trying to visualize specifics for my life, I rather pray, and leave the manifestations up to the Divine. If I do want to contribute, I go into meditation mode start channeling healing Light and send it into all those energies, which still block the ideal divine life, I should live, from being free flowing. To help clear them off this planet!

Please note, I am not saying that prayer s will definitely be more effective, or speedier than using the Law of Attraction. Some things can take time to materialize, even for awesome powers, such as divine helpers (so do pray for patience too), but I think the whole process could well be more relaxed!

Love and Light! And may your lives become ever more effortless and joyful!

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Something happened a few years ago...I was attacked by a spirit/being while living in my other scratched me down my chest...3 long down the center through my heart Chakra and 2 on either side..was extremely did this 2x. Then some time later another being/spirit covered the scratches with a band aid /patch...seemed to fuse it directly to my energy concerns I have are..can a wound of this nature to the energy body heal?..and could this patch be blocking the Chakra. ..I don't know who did the patching...although I do know it was done to assist me. ..and I don't know what type of energy was used...I want to try removing the patch...but am hesitant since I don't know if the wounds have healed. ..I don't want to remove it then need to put it back on...I don't know if that being/spirit is around anymore..if I need a repatch if anyone has any kind of info about this I'd really appreciate it...
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I have been very emotional the last few weeks and now it has been made clear as to why.

My family prepares to let my mom go.

It is has been very emotional for me because despite my different ways of "viewing" the world she has always encouraged me to be myself. She has never faulted me for my sesitivity/inspirations or made me feel as though it was something to be ashamed of. Letting go would not be so hard if she was not one of my biggest fans.

Having said that I know that she is physically exhausted and in a great deal of pain. I have to acknowledge that if I were in her shoes I don't know that I could fight like she has. She is an example of never giving up no matter how bad things are, but also that when even when the fight is almost over that there also has to be a choice about quality of life for the remainder of her time here.

I am glad to have had "borrowed" time with her and grateful that because of the technology today, my kids have been able to know her when they would not have otherwise. We are loosing the family matriarch, but she does not go without very solid instruction for myself and my siblings to be closer to each other.

All of her doctors tell her that they wish all of their patients were like her. She loves to make people smile despite everything she has been through.

I am also glad that I have had time to spend with her to prepare for this special transition. She will "walk through the door into the next room".. as she puts it. From my experiences and what I have seen I know that this is true. They never really leave us and if you listen closely you canstill use your senses to know they are there.Iexperience thiswith the family and friends who have already gone.

I wanted to share this for anyone that is facing the loss of a loved oneeither suddenly or over a period of time. They never really leave, they just step into the next room.

Much Love,


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Rock envy?

By Trevor Lewis, 2016-01-30

I was on a weekend writing retreataweekbefore my mother died. For one exercisethe facilitator sent us offon a huntto find meaningful rocks, ones that felt significant to us in some way. I felt directed down the driveway and onto the road. I looked down at the road building chippings by the side of the road and saw one that looked like it would make a goodpendulum orpendant. Really, ordinary roadside rocks? Youve got to be kidding me.

I picked it up along with two of its colleagues and headed back up to the house. The rest of the group shared their stories about how they found their perfect rocks along with a huge lump of quartz crystal. Come on! I picked up ordinary road building chippings. I cant have done this exercise right.

I was part jealous, part embarrassed. I chose not to share with the group the process I went through to find myownrock.

By the third day after the retreat, the rock was callingtome to be worn round my neck. OK then! So what is this rock? I went out to the internet to find out what rocks are used in road building. Not limestone, not granite. Basalt!Next, what are the qualities of basalt? I found an interesting page on the web but, honestly, although the qualities sounded useful I really didnt connect with them. Not until I had worn the basalt rock around my neck every day for a week. Not until the day after my mother had rejoined our ancestors when I went back and reread the qualities of basalt. Not until I was in the middle of adjusting to the grieving process did I understand those words from the internet. I quote, This strong rock lends its strength and endurance to people as they try to continue in difficult times or deal with traumatic changes.

I wore that rock round my neckevery dayforovertwo weeks until the home-made pendant broke. We were gathered at my mothers house with family and friends for a small celebration of her life. The pendant brokefive minutes before I started my eulogy for my mother. The rock landed on the floor. It had done its work.

Rock envy? No! I had picked up my own perfect rock!

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