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Nocturne's Angel satsfyed Cat Whisperer

Connecting with friends

By: areyoulivinglifeforward
Posted in:

I'm struggling to find friends that understand what its like to be an empath. Being around non empaths for extended amounts of time drains me. I have trouble connecting with people that aren't empaths or don't know what they are. I feel like i can't be myself around them without them knowing I am an empath, but it's so exhausting to explain to people what it is and how it affects me. The explanation process can be just as draining as the energy vampires. I need people that I can talk to about this and vent to when I'm feeling down. I need people in my life that get it and are comfortable talking about it. Does anyone else have trouble connecting to people? How do you find friends that get it?

09/16/16 11:15:11AM @eliselebeau:

I find them here :)  

I know 1 person in my friends who is an Empath. All the others are not.  And since I do get to talk about being an Empath with my friends online, I don't miss it in the rest of my life.  

Maybe you can give it some time, being around Empaths on this site?  It might fulfill your need to talk about your Empath experiences.

Cheshire Cat
09/17/16 03:36:01PM @cheshire-cat:

Hi! :-)

I agree with Elise. I've been here about 3 yrs. or so now. I have made one really, really good friend, one very good casual friend, and a few interesting very casual friends. I have had to reject two people who marched all over my boundaries and abused me, so please take your time in opening your heart and/or giving out your email address! Sometimes our opposites, the narcissists, come here to prey on us. Most here are wonderful, but not rushing things can save you possible pain, IME.

I don't expect my non-empath friends to get how we are, especially the extroverts, but I do think empathy is a continuum, not a black or white thing. I do have a few non-empath friends who are more empathic than the average person, and they can understand some of it.

On the other hand, I have one friend who is a very kind and caring person, but is totally oblivious to obvious clues and picks up nothing at all from people, even really obviously bad ones. She does have trouble understanding what I pick up and my need to be alone. She can't stand being alone at all. If I sense something about somebody when with her, I will ask her if she wants to know. Mostly, she doesn't, which may be why she doesn't pick it up. She doesn't want to see any bad in anyone she knows. We just have to learn to accept others choices like that, even though we may not agree. 

You're in a great place to start finding people who will understand who you are. I've not yet found anyone who lives near enough to me to see them in person, but maybe you will get lucky! :-)

09/21/16 08:51:06AM @rosie333:

Dear are you living life forward,

Welcome to this site! When you are an empath it is like travelling a land in a different country to many other fellow travellers here in this world. It is the journey and not the destination I here you say, and I have to agree - enjoy your travels and make the most of your journey here no matter what land you are in. We can share our scenery and ponder on others' chosen paths and know that overall the world is a beautiiful place no matter what the destination.

Light and Love to you!

Cat Whisperer
09/21/16 09:54:04AM @cat-whisperer:
Yes, I have trouble connecting with "normal" people too. Not sure how you find friends that get it....still working on that one. I really don't have any friends..just acquaintances. But most of the time I am happiest alone...except for frequenting this site (my social time). I have found in the past sharing too much about my empathness does not fare well as most people either don't believe you or judge you for being thanks, I just keep that part of me to myself. Blessings
10/10/16 11:08:05PM @laog:

now i have someone who is my companion that gets it but i didn't really look for someone like that and i suck at making friends anyway. i felt isolated about it before but got used to it. looking for friends = energy investment and for all i know i might choose wrong person to make friends with so i don't bother and i end up just being a hermit that goes with the flow mostly. but i find empaths can attract each other like magnets at times so maybe you'll find someone. attraction alone doesn't keep friends though.

Kit Kat
11/15/16 08:47:02AM @kit-kat:

Yes, I have the same kinds of issues connecting with people. It's easier if they're strangers -- not so heavy. I wish it could be different but I know I need to love myself the way I am. There's a particular relationship in my life that I'm struggling with, actually. Is it possible to be both drained and energized by someone at the same time?

I want to heal this person, but I don't know if it's possible. I want more friends that "get it" too :) But I don't know where to find them except on this community...