By Angel, 2011-09-17
I opened my sacred circle this morning. I decided to take the silent advice of the Guru on Youtube and find my own flow of energy. So raising my hands towards the sky, I embraced the energy of the divine. With heart wide open, my entire being was envoloped in the beautiful sacred energy of love, healing and light. A small light shaped like a small ball spirled down and found it's place inside the depths of my soul. I drew my hands down towards my core in a praying position, aligning my intentions with the energy and sealing it deep within.
As a gardener tends it's precious crops, I sowed that seed and soon it began grow. As within , so without. The circle became larger and larger created a protective bubble around my home and family.
In my sacred space, I once again communed with the Divine. I was taken to a forested area, a sacred path in between two mountains. Not the same place as the place before, this place appeared more ominous, yet magickal. Heavy fog covered the path ahead, fealessly I continued to walk forward. Soon two angels joined me, one on each side. Their light illuminated the darkness. I was told to stop for just a few moments and to will the fog to part and dissapaite, and so I did. I willed the sun to shine through the mist and soon the mist disappeared. I was told that I was powerful, more powerful than I realized. I asked how that could be, for that power was not my power, but the power of the Divine flowing through me. I was told that I am a child of the Divine and that the power was given to me. Soon I was cloaked in a beautiful robe and crowned with gold and beautiful gems. I didn't feel comfortable, unworthy to wear such things. I didn't want this, I wanted to be clothed in clothing that was simple, clothing that would allow me to walk amoung others without notice. So my magnificent robe and crown was turned into a simple cloak and headpiece with a small crystal hanging down my forehead. It was explained to me that we were one, we were ALL one, and all the forces above are given to me for help those of us below.
I was then joined by my husband and children who also glowed in the glorious light. We are family, we are one among millions of others. We hold the powers of the heavens because we are one with the Divine. We pass this torch along and those who accept are also given this power, and the circle continues. This power is within us because we are all connected with one another and with the Divine. The most precious and sacred gift we could ever be given is that sacred connection to all living things.
I don't know where this journey will lead to tomarrow, but the sacred path of the mystics is the realization that all the mystical and magickal things that we seek are already within us.
By Angel, 2011-09-17
My husband routine consists of cleansing the house with sage. He has the gift of healing and when he is finished, the energy of where he cleans is so pure and safe. It's so beautiful it would tears to the hardest of hearts.
My routine is different and consists of opening a circle every morning. I have spent a lifetime tapping into my own abilites and have spent the last 8 years figuring out what they are and who I am. It has been a tough journey for it seemed the more knowledge I gained, the more confused I became. I replaced faith with understanding . I have also realized the knowledge in all of it's glory has both a balance of light and dark, as with all things.
I'm coming back to my roots now. I'm remembering who I am through the help of the Divine. The Mystic's Path is a recount of the things I have learned and experienced in my circle to help me remember in times that I may forget. I'm still making adjustments based on intention. At this point my intention is to draw in the light and reconnect with the Divine and my higher self as some would call it.
I will begin with the lesson from yesterday and come back later for today. Yesterday I began to work out the basics of my morning ritual that begins with adding motion to intention. I started with some basic yoga moves and have spent quite a few hours trying to organize it. What I learned is that the soul longs to be free and organization for me means to follow the flow of my own energy and my own heart. This was accomplished through putting on a youtube video of an Indian Guru conducting the Sun Salutations. I watched with his intentions and convictions and desired to be able to do that my self. I noticed how the energy just flowed without conscious thought as he allowed his own spirit to take over. This was my intention at the moment, yet I failed miserably. Why? Because I was trying to follow the flow of his energy instead of listening to my own. So I sat quietly and began to connect on my own.
I sat cross legged and envisioned a circle of white sparkles surrounding my. The flow felt unstable. While asking for help I was shown a picture of a bowel and some water in it and instructed to place my finger in it. As I dis this, i moved my finger clockwise to the flow I desired. The energy around me began to follow immediately and it became free flowing yet strong. I envisioned this circle moving around and outward, stretching further and further out until it covered my entire home and property. My circle was set.
I then began to visualize a large green field with two mountains on both sides and a small path that led to ocean. I saw a lonesome tree asked why I was seeing this. Suddenly, the area I was sitting on, my body began to grow roots that traveled deep within the earth. My body began to transform upwards as the middle became the trunk. With arms stretched outward, they began full, beautiful and lush branches. A cool breeze began to flow as I swayed to the rythem of the air. The sun was warm and welcoming and nourished me. Suddenly a small creek appeared next to me and quenched my thirst. Soon the transformation was complete and I transformed into the tree with each of the elements supplying my needs. I felt complete, grounded and stable.
I asked if I would always be like this, for my soul always longs for different things at different times. I was asked to take a step forward and I began to transform back into my self with the energy of the tree and all that came with it at that moment. It was now a part of me. So I envaioned a Raven and began to transform once again. I took flight and freely soared through the air. I flew gracefully across the water and above the mountains until I found a place on the very top of a mountain. The view was spectacular. As I planted my feet on the ground, I was again transformed back into myself, taking with me all that was me as the Raven. I stayed there for quite some time. It was gently explained to me that power of energy and projection. That we transform our energy in many different ways, and even though we will never always stay in one sacred place inside or another, we bring these things with us and we can come back always, for it travels with us. We are all one, above and below.
I was shown one last thing. I was standing on a cliff next to the ocean. The clouds were becoming dark and ominous. I began to become afraid. I was guided to envision the circle of energy around me. So I closed my eyes and invioned a circle of peace, love and protection. The energy was strong yet gentle. I focused my attention solely on this circle. I could see the storm approaching quickly, tital waves crashing up against the rocks I was standing on. I kneeled and focused on the circle and the sacred space I had created. Though I was afraid, I knew this circle would protect me. I looked around and a tital wave came crashing above me and water flooded the area around me. I was completly under this wave, yet not one drop of water entered my circle. I was safe and protected. Finally the water receeded and the storm ended. The sun began to shine and I arose. It was explained to me that we can not always control the the things around us, and some things will make us afraid, however, that sacred spot within when projected outward will protect us from those storms of life. No matter how difficult the storm, we are loved and safe.
By the time my meditation was over, I found the basics of my own morning routine which I will explain in my next entry.
By Angel, 2011-09-17
I guess it started off as a typical day. We went thrift store shopping, being that I have been a real stickler for paying full price for anything,lol. Most of this has to do with having 3 children, well two smaller children, being that my oldest is grown now and doesn't ruin anything anymore, plus a dog and 2 cats. I learned the hard way that it;s just not worth it. Being broke most of my life and having juice stains and paw prints on even the old stuff, makes me feel blessed that I have saved the extra money. So we spent the day shopping through different stores. I was in the fitting room and heard a male voice behind me. This is nothing new to me since paranormal activity has become normal to al of us now. So I politely , ok maybe not that politely, asked him for some privacy and he left. Sheesh, just because they can float through doors and walls doesn't mean they should! They need to make up some rules and morals for these spirits,lol.
So they continued on and I logged into my work site. I felt drawn to a particular psychic who was new. Immedietly I picked up on and older male and sure enough, the girl she was reading, her father passed away.
I went into another room, and before the lady said anything about what happend to her child, I picked up on a child spirit and knew that he had passed away. This was confirmed about 5 minutes later. This is only the most recent of the activity that has been going on here.
I know that I have been pushing back my responsibilites as a medium, but after years of running away from this gift you would think that the spirits would quite coming, but they don't. I can feel their desperation for help, yet I have been pushing them away. Not helping them. I'm still trying to figure out why I do this. For they to are human, just because they no longer have a body, the spirit still remains, and when they haven't crossed over yet, then they are still bound here by the things that keep them here, sadness, revenge, lack of closure, fear. All that they have left this realm with, they continue to carry this cross in the afterlife. It's sad really, for the darkness can get pretty damn dark.
Mediums are a beacon of light to them and when they see this light, they are drawn to it. The come not because they have to, but because the desire to heal is there, yet they are unable to do it themselves. Many mediums have their bag of tricks and their gifts that they have spent a lifetime developing in order to help them to cross over. I've watched many of them, read the books and have done the traditional ways except for the ouigia board. I know this to be dangerous and a portal, anything can come through really. I even took notes and tried to mimic the way of Jennifer Love Huitte, but nothing seemed to fit. I accepted my gift in this area a few months ago, so that couldn't be the block.
My husband and I went to dinner tonight and on the way I saw the most spectacular scene, lightning around the full moon. I felt so strong, so connected and so grounded. I have never felt so charged yet so grounded all in the same moment. So when we went to dinner, the romantic evening we had planned on having kind of went to the wayside when Red Lobster decided to charge me a whole lot of money for a tiny bit of food, the loud chaotic noises of the busy restraunt and the pounding on the wall next to our booth. I was a bit dishearted and tried to get over it in order to not ruin the whole evening. After dinner we finally left, and I gotta say, I couldn't wait. It felt so good being in the quiet car and enjoying a peaceful ride home.
We started talking about my mediumship and how I have been avoiding the spirit realm alot lately. Intentionally putting up the blinders or simply sending them away. I started talking about the same thing as mentioned above, using Ghost Whisperer as a training ground and how all of the other pyschics do it. How I feel so inexperienced in this are and so inferior. Not that I am trying to be prideful or that I really care how others look at me in this area, it goes way beyond pride. It's more of having the desire to help but not really knowing how. Then it dawned on. And how I haven't figured this out before, that I never do what other people do, why should this be any different? But I thought back to the last couple of spirits that came to me, the ones I DID help. There was no convincing them to cross over because of all the horrible things that would happen if they don't, no internet research or trying to give messages to other people. No blowing them off and trying to bend them to my will. No, my experience was quite different. The came to me and I simply listened.
The female remember quite clearly. She came to me very upset and afraid, like in a panic. There was so much confusion and chaos around her. I listened to her patiently for a short time and suddenly the energy changed. I asked if she saw the light. She said yes. And everything that she was feeling a few moments before was completely gone. There was so much peace at that very moment and somehow I knew she was ready. She asked if it was safe and what lye beyond. I told her that I wasn't sure what lye beyond for her but I knew that that was where she was supposed to go and that she would be ok there. And just like that she walked right through. This happened a few times, and I had to stop and think about it, step by step. I still can't explain what exactly what happened to either one of them. All I know is that there seemed to be some weird energy transformation that happened quite quickly and then they were gone. I don't know how they healed so quickly, but they did. It's weird, especially after seeing how all of the other psychics did it. The only think I can think of is maybe the light within me that they are attracted to, maybe this light is projected onto them and they are finally able to feel peace.
This brought me to second "aha moment" ...connection and the depth of it. The light comes from heaven or from , for me , God. Because I follow God, Christ and the Holy Spirit, their light lives within me. And when that light is projected then they can see this light, feel it's peace and at that moment, all of the old fades away and they are able to feel the light, love and peace of God.
For all of those who choose to walk in the light and to have that connection with the Divine, the light resides within them. And that light spreads to others, in my case, the spirit realm. So God's light through me, healed them without any real words spoken. It's so simple, yet so profound to see the miracles of the Divine even in the spirit realm. I am now looking at this is a different light and am beginning to understand who profound our connections truly are.
Tonight I connected to the storm and the full moon and it fulfilled me. In the past, I connected with the Divine and be filled with his light, which in turn was shared with another of his creations and it saved them, al through connection. Our connections to the higher source and to one another is what it is all about. As a medium, this is the greatest tool in our toolboxes. Sure there will be those who come to snuff out the light, but because we have an unlimited and constant connection with the Divine, that light can never fade unless we break the connection. To live life to the fullest, learn to connect to all things around you .Soul to soul to soul. The eternal circle of energy. This is what it's all about. Wholeness through connection. I wish I could describe how deep this is, but the only way to understand is to experience it yourself.
It's funny how the universe works. The next time you need healing, ask the Divine for his perfect white light. When it is given to you, allow this light to fill the soul. You will begin to notice a change not only in yourself, but take note of the people around you it effects. This is connection It's quite remarkable what you will see.
By Angel, 2011-09-17
This simple knowledge has helped me to understand that just because the world says that I should be like them, rightside-up, doesn't mean that mean that rightside-up is right for me. This is a big lesson because I am constantly trying to find inner truth from outside sources. But this often leads me feeling more confused and defeated because their ways often don't work for me. So I find my own way of doing it and it fits so perfectly. We must each find our own paths, even if it means you are upside-down or sideways with the rest of the world. For you, when you follow the path of the soul, the path within, you will always be rightside-up.
By Angel, 2011-09-17
My goal was to open my circle this night and bawl my eyes out. So much sadness and pain within needing to be released. So I opened my circle. I tried connecting with the Divine. It took some time but I finally was able to open my spirit enough to let some of the light in. The Divine must have known my struggles for I was asked to face the candle of the east after connecting to the candle before me. I turned to the right and associated that candle with the earth and all of it's inhabitants. I was asked to connect to all of the energies of the earth, to include the elements, the plants and creatures and human. This came quite easily and flowed so easily. I stayed there for several minutes connecting the energy of the divine, my spirit or higher self and the energies of the earth.
When I was finished there was a gold cord that connected from the divine to the earth. All the energies became one. I was asked to move to the candle of the self. This candle represented myself. The human, the soul, the physical body and all that is within me. I sat there quietly for some time, afraid to connect. There was a part of me that was reluntant to do so, but finally it was like my spirit took over me and as I connected and healed the energy of the earth, I connected and began to heal myself. I looked up and saw myself in spirit. So beautiful, filled with love and compassion, beauty, stregnth and power. We begin to merge as one. I realized then that the block was not the energy without, but within. The need I sought was healing within. I didn't realize how much healing I needed. So my spirit began to heal my soul. The energy connected and I began to feel whole and complete. My biggest area of healing is fear. I will be needing to spend more time healing myself. The Divine then asked me if I noticed which order I placed the candles. Their candle first, then the candle of the earth, and then the candle of me, which I was reluctant to even face. I have spent so much time and energy healing so many people, that I often seek a quick fix for myself. Yet I have never took the time to heal myself. So I was asked to switch the candles. It was time to place myself next for if I am whole and complete, if I am healed, then I will have the strength the heal the earth, the people that I am called to heal and the world around me.
The cord then began to connect to the last candle, the candle of the west. The last candle forms a perfect circle. The circle represents a full circle and connection. I was shown the energy of that connection of all things. The energy began to mesh as one and I finally began to understand how it is supposed to be. The cord circled around the last candle and merged with the first candle, creating a perfect circle.
It's difficult to understand the depth of this knowledge, but for someone like me, I have to feel it, experience it. I look forward to this path of healing. I will be doing this ritual for the next few nights with the hopes that the healing with continue to help me see my true self.
By Angel, 2011-07-08
I spent a little time this evening playing with my cards. I started with my Magic of the Unicorns, which I haven't used since who knows when. This has always been my "fun and feel good deck" and never use it for any serious readings. interestingly, yesterday it was quite accurate.
Tonight I played with the Archangel Oracle. I felt a little less connected tonight so I put them away and pulled out my Heart of the Faires deck. This is my newest deck and am still getting used to it, however, it one of my most accurate decks I own. This deck has a different energy, a little darker but not bad, almost more human connected. I guess the realm of the fairy is alot like earth, both light and not so light,lol.
I pulled the Greenman and then the Greenwoman card. I pretty much didn't get it, ok, so I need to spend more time outside enjoying nature. You know, the same old message. Then I pulled 3 more cards. The first talked about a joyous future. The second was Pan card and the third was the shadows of the past card. I knew the first and the last, but not to sure about the pan card. I looked it up and pan means to simply go with the flow of things as they come. Life is an adventure and we should enjoy every moment of you.
I have been trying, but there is an underlying sadness I can never seem to shake. I feel my passion for anything is pretty much turned to apathy. Not that I don't care, but rather self defeated. As Pan, I used to go from one adventure to another, embracing it all, the good, the bad, the indifferent. It's not really the carefreeness that I miss, because I don't think I've even been totally carefree, but having the ability to embrace all of it. The happiness, the sadness, the inability to fear. I was able to whip up a spell in only a couple of minutes off the top of my head and it being just as powerful as ceremonies that would take an hour, I would astral project without thinking twice. I knew I was protected, I knew I was safe and I knew the power I possessed.
I guess pan knows that in order for me to enjoy my future, I must first remember the things that made me strong.
I don't really know how I knew, maybe it was apathy that allowed to do the things I once did. It's not that I never thought of what the consequences could be, but maybe I just didn't care. Sometimes I think I was more in touch with my true self before I started giving all this a name and a label. Sure I have learned alot, but it feels as if this knowledge may have hindered me. Somehow simply not knowing made it possible for me to simply just "do", yet on the flip-side, I know longer feel like a freak of nature and that I am not alone.
So what is it in my past that allowed me to battle every storm that came my way and feeling proud of the challenge?
What was it that made me stop and second guess everything? Have I gone to far in my quest for truth?
Even when I felt the hand of God lift off of me during the years with my ex, I never gave up. But now all I see is failure? When did I start accepting failure? When did I finally role over and give up? Why the hell would I do that? I never gave up on anything, not matter how destructive it was. I battled almost every storm. Yeah, I got knocked down a few times, but I got right back up and spit in it's face. EVERYTHING was important to me. How did I get to the point of where only a few things in my life matters? I'm not even sure the curse was my past, but this "new" path I am on. Sure I'm a little kinder and gentler, and it's has it's place, but when the rock crumbled, I crumbled. That rock was me. Now I'm like tiny pebbles on the ground. How do I fix this if I don't even know how I got here to begin with.
I used to think that I was so unbalanced, but I was the most balanced I have ever been, it is now that I am unbalanced. How am I supposed to "co-create" when I'm broken? The only thing I can seem to create is this stupid "poor me" complex. Why do I accept this shit in my life? I'm better than that and I refused to accept this shit before.
I'm a damn good mother, even if I'm not June Cleaver. I may have not provided my kids the best house or fancy clothes, expensive game systems, but you know what? When the world turned their backs on my children, I was there. I traveled from one side of this damn country to the other side to at least try to give them a better life. I worked shit jobs, lived in homeless shelters and motel rooms and not once did I ever give up.
I may not be the best psychic on the planet, but I help people. Instead of renting some stupid room and charging $300.00 for a stupid reading, I help families find closure and peace. I help spirits also find peace so they can finally move on. I endure the most gruesome visions and see the horror that these people actually go through through, while others out there are robbing people's pocketbooks in order to make them "feel good" and selling them a title that doesn't mean anything. Seriously, some of these "top notch" people pull so much shit out of their ass and con people into paying thousands and thousands of dollars on a theory. They don't tell you that it may not fit for them, instead they brainwash people into thinking that their "shit" is the only real "shit" on the planet. It makes me sick. So why am I basing my success or my perception of success on these people? Why am I desiring to be like them when I can't even stomache who they are and what they represent?
How did I go from the Rock that everyone leaned upon to a pile of rubble that I even spit upon? There is something seriously wrong with this picture.
How did I even get here? Being afraid of everything? This is so stupid and how much time I spend trying to "figure things out" I already had it figured out and I refuse to accept the fact that everything is carved in stone.
It's pretty ironic how many times I have told people " you may need to accept this or that" you know what, it's bullshit, you don't have to accept anything. I'm beginning to figure out how powerful the word "acceptance" is.
I need to seriously take a step back and decide what I am going to accept and won't accept anymore, especially from myself.
i think I will start with the "unworthy" feeling. Why, because even if every human turned their back on me on this planet, I am worthy. I do have a purpose. It may not be some world -wide thing, it might now mean anything to anyone but maybe a handful of people. But this handful of people are worthy to. And if they come to me because the world turned their back on them, damn it, I'm going to be the rock for them to lean on, because that is my purpose. Out of all the cool gifts I have been given, I have been given one more sacred then the rest, and that is strength and I refuse to accept that it's gone. I don't know how I will get out of this whole, but I will get out of it. I have no other choice because failure is NOT an option.
And it shouldn't be for you either!
By Angel, 2011-06-03
Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America .........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can'twomenput on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and= dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
I like this one!!!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe,why do they call the airport the terminal?
By Angel, 2011-06-02
I started this blog in the midst of some of my most darkest hours in my life. My journey began about 6 years ago when I was confronted with the dark side that I spent a lifetime running away from. I've battles this side many times now, this hopefully being the last. Looking hindsight, i think that these other times were prepareing me for the actual journey down this road.
It's not a journey that we choose, it's something that has already been chosen for us.It's destined. Each person must go down this path . We may try to run or hide from it, we may ignore it or wish it away, but in time it will demand it's recognition. There is no escaping it because it is a part of us. It's purpose is not to bring us down or to cause us harm. Though it is a very slow and pain painstakingly long journey, it's purpose is to create balance between the dark and the light. To help gain a better understanding of ourselves, even the most hidden side.
So, what is the Dark Night of the Soul? It's a period in our lives where we must go beyond the surface of ourselves and to dive in the deepest and darkest parts of our soul. This is where pain, sadness and self doubt have created their domain. This garden was created by all the seeds that we have tossed away and prayed would be forever forgotten. Though there is little light, these seeds grow by feeding off of the shadows within.
When I started down the path of self discovery, it was because the shadows caught up to me and I had no place to run or hide anymore. There was only one direction I could go and that was inward. It was during this time where fear and panic ruled my every fiber. I couldn't live. I spent days crying and I had absolutely no idea why. I couldn't drive, work, or even take my kids to the park without having a major panic attack. Spirits taunted and laughed at me. My children cried with me. That was my changing point, to see the pain that my pain was causing my children, that day I made a decision. I wasn't going to be devoured by the darkness anymore. I knew I had to continue down the path in order to restore the peace and balance. I knew I had no choice but to clear away all of the past debrie, and so in the dark and all alone, i began to pull the weeds one by one. I had to face the fears in order to know the truth of my fears and where they came from. I had to understand who I was and what it was that I was running from. With each weed I pulled, I held it tight. I felt the string of each emotion and each memeory it represented. I grieved. And when I was ready, I sent it to the light. Day by day, one by one.
Most of the weeds are now gone and my garden, though still lives in the dark, there is now a small light that keeps the shadows at bay and allows my garden to grow the way it was meant to. It will never loose it's purpose, it will always take the unwanted seeds that we throw aside, and the seeds will continue to grow. But now we become keepers of the garden and we learn to honor and cherish this aspect of ourselves. We are no longer afraid of this side because we are now aware and connected to it's purpose.When we tend to our garden regularly we create balance within all aspects of ourselves for the garden will no longer be overgrown or out of control. We except this garden and cherish it just like the other gardens that we have and are no longer afraid for we are now connected. We understand that one garden is no greater than the other for they are all interconnected and bring us blessings in their own way. They are unique and different, yet special. When we honor the dark, we honor the light and therefore honor each and every aspect of ourselves.