In This Place..
I'm not really sure what this blog will be about. Tonight I'm kind of in a solemn mood.Not happy, not sad. Maybe it's simply my souls desire to seek solitude and stillness. I've been nervous today. I know it's because of my husband's surgery tomorrow. I've been detached from the whole thing until now. In the depths of my soul I know that everything will be alright and that you will come out of it just fine. But yet I can't help to feel that today will be the last day of what I know of my life now. It almost feels as if tomarrow something will change in a significant way, but I'm not sure how. At the moment I am hiding in the shadows and have found some solitude, some refuge in my soul. A part of me wants time to stand still and to stay in this moment forever. I know that if I could stay here, you will be here with me and safe by my side. It's in this place that I can protect you and keep you safe. In this place I can handle your pain, I can handle your fear because in the midst of this solitude, fear no longer exsists. It's in this place that our souls are one.And in this place I am no longer afraid of that.
I always knew my twin was here on this earth. I knew I would find you and it wasn't until last night that I realized that it was you. My souls greatest desire was you, yet my greatest fear was loosing myself to you. I dream, I hope, I deny this reality because the thought of loosing you is so painful. Your breathe is my breathe, your mind is my mind and your soul is my soul. We are one. You've known and accepted this from the beginning, yet it has taken me years to see the bitter sweet truth. I never expected the sacrifice to be so great, and I have fought it every step of the way, but I can't deny this anymore. I never knew love could be so great, nor have I ever known the pain of loving someone. It hurts to love you not because you treat me bad, but because you love me so well.I can't loose you, to loose you I would loose my soul, my reason for being.
But in this sacred garden within the depths of my soul, nothing stands between us here. Nothing can separate us, not even fear. I can't deny my soul any longer, for by doing so I would deny you.I love you with all of my heart and my soul, baby...