The Enchanted Map Reading 05/27/2014
Again, in the quiet of the day, I hear the call. Today seems to be a day for looking back and seeing spirit. Not the spirits of the dead, but the divine spirits of all. I used to invision this man up in the sky someone looking down at me, watching over me and protecting me. When I started stripping away my old belief system for my new one, I seemed to have stripped that away as well. Though I know a divine force still walks with me, it has lost shape, substance, no longer a father, but an energy that is everywhere, all at once. Though I feel it, I no longer see it. The mystery that was once sacred feels, somehow , lost if the mesh of all energy. Trying to define the divine is no longer possible because I see it in all things, and many times in nothing. The Angels voices seems quiet. It's not dark in this state, but I do feel alone. I see the miracles as they manifest in the mundane, so I know he is still with me, but it seems different now. I don't really have alot of time to myself. The quiet is a rare commodity. I have no doubt this is a big part of the problem. I have a few of those moments now, so I wanted to try out my new deck, Enchanted map, so below will flow more like a conversation then anything,lol, but my reading none the same. Traveling the veils in search for some hidden meaning to all the insanity in my life.
The three cards that were thrown at me
Magic stream- this card is in referance to my magickal side. How I am seeking magic in the mundane. I am told to remember the roots of where I come from, not in this lifetime, but the roots of my soul. The place where desire and imagination brings forth the magic. I haven't tapped into my magickal side much in a long time. It's a path I have wandered away from, though my very core desires it. I'm being told to remember the pools of avalon, the sacred healing pools that can only be accessed from within. It's time to heal from the wounds this reality has given to me, which can only be done through more magickal means for magick is who I am. '
Come together- This card in this reading represents balance. In all aspects. I need time for work, I need time for family and I need time to rejuvinate from everything. Responsibility lays heavy on me, but it wears me thin. I feel unapappreciated for all I do at work, yet I continue to give so much of myself to it. I spend so much time and energy with little to no success at my job. It eats away at me and robs me of almost everything. Work is supposed to be that, a means of living, not my life.
One ring circus, this card in this reading represents chaos and being trapped in that chaos. Which is my life, it get's pretty nuts,lol. Though I think I work best in chaos as I don't have time to think. I have to make quick decisions, which rely mostly on instinct. It's when I have to much quiet time is when I think to much. But I know I need the quiet to slow me down a bit.
Making a choice- I know that it is time to start making some choices in my life. Making choices have never been my strong point unless it was done through time constraints and necessity. I've heard people say things like, "what do you want to do with your life? What are your goals? I don't really have any. I just kind of go with the flow and when things that are out of my control come along, I make quick decisions and that it. If I start thinking about what I want to do, I just get overwhlemed and talk myself out of it anyway's. I used to have dreams. I still do to a point, but I think I lost hope in fulfilled dreams when we had to leave California, when we had to leave my home. We moved here to Arizona setteling for a dream to afford a home and just raise the kids in a descent area. Somewhere were we had enough money to do things we wanted to do, like actually take a vacation. That dream was also crushed when my husband got injured. Life has completely changed for all of us and now the financial responsibility falls mostly on me to make sure our rent is taken care of, food on the table, and the bills get paid. We have been stuck in this for almost four years now. We have adjusted in our new roles, and we are still close, but it doesn't change our situation. I can't afford to make bad choices. I can't afford to chase dreams. I often wonder how others do it. They took a risk and many win, but many also loose and it's not a risk I can really take. I have come to the conclusion that I may not like my options, but I can make choices, but I have chosen the path of resresponsible decision making. If I take risks, it will be my family who suffers. Which boils back down to only make rash decision based on time and need. So because I have choosen this road, we will always remain here until I make a different decision.
Rock bottom and storm fields, easy one, which is what I always do, I wait until we have no options left but one which is always in the midst of a storm. Which another one is arising. In this reality, I gather alot of stregnth through thunderstorms, they charge me, as in every aspect of my life. It's the storms that change me from mundane to survival. I work best in this. I have a feeling this is about my job. If I don't change something soon, I have a feeling that fate will. I already feel the strain of my current job, these cards are telling me that it isn't going to get easier until I am on the right path. I've known for awhile my time here is ending, at this job, and I'm beginning to realize that nothing will change unless I change this and if I don't, they will. Life isn't meant just to survive at a dead end job. Jobs aren't meant to consume you. I have dreamt of working from home and doing readings online for awhile. The risk financially just seems to high though. I know they are pushing me though, because this job is out of alignment with my path. I am seeing august, and august of last year, is when this job almost ended for me then. I felt at the beginning of the year that this area would change during the summer, July or August.
I asked for more and everything went blank. I guess this is all I need to know for now. p